Author: Mr. Big T
Reviewed by: The Seamonkey
Of all the rm2k games I have played, this is at times the best and the worst. Between having sex with cats and drinking various alchohols, there is some sort of plot, but, as Mr. Big T said, it's only a parody game. But this game does reveal the truth behind Squall from Final Fantasy 8!
There was sound effects all over the place in this game, especially during sex scenes (don't worry kids, it goes to a black screen during these). But nothing really stood out sound wise, but was ussually appropriate. But the music was mainly rtp and rips, but a few of the rips were used to make fun of the scene, such as the jenova battle music when you fight Gephiroth, or the FF8 music when you fight Squall.
SFX & MUSIC: 90%
This really varied. First off, the maps, with the exception of 2, were all rtp, and some looked pretty crappy. The two non-rtp maps looked alright, but the airship may have been from Chrono Trigger, I'm not sure. The dungeons were downright horrible. The first dungeon didn't even have walls, it was just a path marked by holes in the ground. The others were a little better, but not much. There was plenty of custom graphics, but for every custom there was 10 rtp. The customs looked alright, but not great. Plus one custom, a topless girl that didn't look very good, was all over the place. Battle animations is where this game shines. All of the battle animations were original and looked good. They appeared in gameplay only when appropriate, especially the "Sweet!" animation. But there was one thing that really stood out. At the dance party there is disco lights spinning around the room and it looks really cool, but kinda gives you a headache.
GRAPHICS (Tiles, Sprites, Animations): 70%
Well, the game is a parody, and Mister Big T made that perfectly clear, but sometimes you lose track of whether this is a serious game or a comedy game. It starts out obviously comical, until Lord Pain destroys the village and blinds the kid (Doam), then it gets serious for a while, until you start having sex with just about any women, and a cat for a second. But despite the plots identity crisis, this is just about the funnest game I've played, and the story does regain it's comical aspect about the time you figured out why master wants to destroy the world (I don't want to reveal this, but let's just say it starts with P and Mr Big T loves them). There was an ungodly amount of spelling and grammer mistakes in this game, but I only noticed the text cutoff once, and you still got most of the word. STORY & DIALOG: 85%
Oh my god there were too many random battles! About every two steps in the first dungeon was a new battle, and it was always the same battle as before! But since the random battles were so easy, they were pretty well pointless. But, level up whenever possible. After a while, the bosses get fairly difficult. I had to lower the health of Chon to 1 the first time I fought him because I just couldn't beat him. But the final boss was the best battle in the game. Not too hard but definately not too easy. A little advice, keep Lord Pain's mp up! The dungeons were too short to really say anything about. You could get out of any of them in about a minute. The puzzles were great, though, but only one of them actually tells you which lever to pull, the others are pretty well just trial and error. There was a minigame, of sorts, in this game, though. Have sex with as many things as possible. I don't know if you get anything for it, but I did find myself going out of my way to find things to have sex with. Really, this game was very fun to play, and I reccomend you play it. But there was one bug, when you fight death in the first dungeon, you're supposed to lose. If you win it just keeps doing it over and over again until you lose. GAMEPLAY: 75%
Alright, it may not sound that good in this review, but this actually is an excellent game, especially considering the download size (1 and a 3/4 megs people!). So I reccomend you go out and download this, if you're of a consenting age of course.
SFX & MUSIC: 90%
TOTAL (Average): 80%
Squaresoft's gonna sue someone's ass.
Not Currently for Download at Monkeysoft