A new era of blogging...
Now Playing: Metallica - Nothing Else Matters (begins merging into) Magical Trevor
Topic: Annoyances?
Via this tangent of thought, this utterly mind numbing expression of human innovation, which I have lovingly referred to as 'my blog', I have given you my opinions, my thoughts, and most importantly, my views of the world as it is and should be. Now, with a year worth of practice entries, I'm going to try and take an hour or so to refine my writing (or typing depending upon how literal I need to be) skills.
And, this is how I'm going to do it. First, I'll do as I normally do, just with some more refining (which would mean proofreading and changing things that don't flow together smoothly. It is by these means that I will become adept enough that my rantings could, quite possibly, attract a crowd of nerdy followers. Good plan, yes?
So, anyway, I need to, first of all, find something that I find annoying/changeable. Just as I typed that, I realized the one thing right now that annoys me to the fullest extent of my being. Its existence is meant purely to plague me with overly eager "Anything I can help you (and screw you over) with today?" guy who probably works on commission, and trying to get me to buy $7.50 in equipment for my surround sound for $50. It was enough for me to want to go slaughter the innocent with a machete made completely of human bones. Not bones of people I killed. Ones from those who died of natural causes. Causes like an Ebola virus blanket. In fact, all employees of the places that torment me should be slaughtered with Indian bone machetes. A suiting death for equally murderous places.
Well, anyway, so I don't get caught up in that tangent, I'll start this paragraph and reveal the annoyance which most refer to as Radio Shack. I think their trademark is "You had questions, so we killed your messiah." or something along those lines. Somewhere between walking in and the helper trying to have me buy 4 separate $17 cables, I started thinking "Hmmm...smashing my car into the front door of this place and running over this guy seems like a good idea." So, anyway, I told him I'd be back in a few minutes, and drove over to Best Buy, picked up what I needed for a TOTAL of $7.50 (compared to the $RAPE Radio HELL was trying to charge) and decided to keep up my promise and returned to Radio HELL and showed the guy who was trying to rape me what I bought for an 8th of what he was trying to charge me and he thusly put the stick, which he was going to try and shove up my ass at the counter after I paid him, away. As I drove away, I'm pretty sure I saw a 'Going out of Business' sign being put up as everyone left the store after seeing that Radio HELL got it's face beaten in by Best Buy. It was quite the effective day. That was definitely a refreshing use of my time.
I try to entertain, and hope the refining has helped. And, above all else, I have always tried to give you a good thought to tide you over until the next post.
So, here it is. Your thought: "How does Radio shack keep selling crap when all of the employees rape their customers during and after the sale. You'd think the pain alone would keep them away."

A long blog time ago...
Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: Trick Daddy f/ Lil John - Let's Go
Topic: Ideas?
Alright, it has been a long time, but now I'm back with all new stuff to tell you all about. Somehow, I'll cram it all in this post and also try a bit to entertain not only myself, but possibly even you, the reader (amazing, huh?).
Anyway, here goes. First things first: the election. My personal opinion is that Kerry should have won. And as that being my opinion, yours it will be for the time you read this, because as you read this, you are stating my opinion in your head, thusly making it your own. So, if I were to type "Kerry is the greatest presidential candidate since Nader first ran for office", you would be stuck with that as your opinion by default until, of course, you stated a different opinion (out loud or to yourself) and cancelled out my forced opinion. So, just because of this revelation I have come upon, I will now make the majority of this change your opinions.
Kerry is great, and should have beaten Bush. Why I think this (and now you too) is that he believed so much in separation of church and state as a hardcore christian that he, contrary to his beliefs, supported abortion as a choice. Also, it seems (since he dropped out of the election early as to not spend more of the taxpayers money) that he really did plan to help the economy. Don't you just love these opinions that I'm giving you? I do.
Basically, I'm runnign out of typing time...so, to conclude, I now realize that a monitor connector can most definitely be used as a dangerous and sharp weapon. I never thought before that it could be used to stab someone with, but, according to the blood from my hand, it can.
Thought: "Why are we spending our economy's budget so fast, when that is the easiest way to take down a democracy? If the economy falls, so does the government (because it's, of course, based entirely on the economy). Just figured people might want to think about that."
And, after I get slapped in the face for using the phrase "I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you leave", I will end this out. ::Slap::

Lewis Black: Ruler of the World?
Now Playing: Cake - Comfort Eagle
If the world were really smart, they'd elect someone as arrogant as Lewis Black as it's leader in the near future. Assuming, of course, that we have a centrally governed world in the near future. The only reason I say this is due to the underlying facts.
Number 1, We need a ruler (president if we don't have a centralized world government) that won't be undecided on anything, but will go with the best idea they and their peers can come up with and not just sit around with a metaphorical thumb up their ass. This may seem funny, but when your ruler (president) doesn't do stuff quick enough, your way of life is pretty screwed. Plus, if their idea didn't work and your even more screwed than if the metaphorical thumb sicking would have commenced, the people wouldn't be able to say crap because by that time, we'd have an online database for posting ideas on how to fix things. And if you didn't post an idea better than that of your leader, you don't deserve a say. And, chaqnces are, their idea was actually great, but all of the random chances life in general had to offer worked against it.
Actually, I'm going to try and think of a new type of government. Bare with me as I try. It may not be pretty, but then again, I don't care all that much to begin with. Maybe if I knew a little about political theory or something of that sort, I'd be able to come up with something great, but as of now, I don't have a masters degree in phsycology, economics, government, and music theory (because everyone knows music enriches the soul and music theory is the most in depth you should ever get into music that has to do with class taking). So, on with the creation.
Here it is, the new government.
Basically, it would consist of a populou of people required, once a month, to complain about the currewnt goverment which is exactly like our current U.S. governent. All current state representatives would be converted to judges of their states complaints and suggestions. All good suggestions would then be passed on to the Senate which would review and, each month, choose the top 5-10 best suggestions and send those directly over to the co-presidents (one difference that would come up after a suggestion from the populous). This, in theory, seems to be a logical idea and might actually work. It'd be easy to merge into the currect government because it's exactly the same, except for the populous complaints and suggestions. It might be made a suggestion at first, but them slowly moved into the same light as voting or taxes. Right between those two would be quitew good.
Anyway, that's enough for me. Think about that one while I sleep.
Thought: "Adjectivves on a typewriter, he moves his words like a prize fighter. The frenzied pace of the mind inside the cell." -- Cake

I (will) have shunned you....
Now Playing: Electric Six - I Invented The Night
Okay, it might be a while until the next rant, so I'm going to try anhd make this one good enough that my readers (i'm feeling optimistic [basically hoping Max has split personality disorder]) won't be annoyed if it's here for about a week.

But, first, I'm going to explain why. Why will it be a while without posting? I may have a job soon...in around 2 hours...and also, I'm going to try and rebuild my site on a host that doesn't have ads. I already have the account set up, 100 MB to work with, and a bunch of e-mail accounts to make. But, alas, the site only redirects you to my current site. See?

Well, anyway, (after I change the song playing) I'll try and entertain/ammuse/offend everyone on the planet with whimsical charm and unending prowess. And as you can see, I have paid attention in English as well.

There are a couple of things that I must agree with Max on. Such as the whole "we, the 'not underage drinking' crowd are the new rebels". See, it's a good idea, but to fill up space, I'll explain it a bit more. See, being a rebel has to take effort for it to be done correctly. And seeing as it takes no effort at all to follow the crowd, this so called 'teenage rebelious stage' parents speak of so much, is a myth. I mean, if they actual thought it over, they'd realize that if I felt like it, I could truthfully say to my parents faces that I'm going to rebel, and they should thusly, shower me with money. Because of my rebellion. These 'followers' are just too easily pushed into things. I could probably tell one that everyone was drinking a mixture of ammonia and bleach (to get high no doubt), and, due to their inability to go the less traveled path, would then drink it and die. It would actually be a good thing to do. In fact, starting tomorrow, I'm going to test it out. Probably not the whole 'automatic death' way, but maybe something less harmful...possibly tell them to fill a pickle with baking soda and eat it. At least then, they'd have a bad stomach ache. Use some excuse like 'it'll give you the most stellar high'. And if that got them to do it, I wouldn't have any guilt. It was bound to happen if they're that gullible/much of a follower.

Beyond this, I have no more rant. But, yes, I happen to have a thought.

Thought:
"If someone was so much a follower that they actually did what I told them because I said 'Everybody's doing it', would you feel sorry for them when they got the worst stomach cramp of their life? I think not."

Why we don't have a massive reader base
Now Playing: Queens of the Stone Age - No One Knows
Alright Max, this one's for you and the rest of my seemingly endless row of possible readers. The only reason that I can think of that we don't have angelfire's servers crapping themselves by all the views we get (not to mention the bandwidth) is that people don't understand the type of humor we put out here. I mean, it couldn't have anything to do with the fact that no one tells anyone about our blogs. In fact, I'm so sure that this isn't the reason, I'm going to....wait. That is the reason. But why, you may be asking yourself? Why is it that no public eye's have been cast upon our seemingly worthy ranting spaces? This, I don't know. One thing I do know is that I need to force banners upon some websites that owe me favors. Namely, Ben's website. The one that gets no traffic whatsoever.

Anyway, maybe next time I'll have something useful, even quite possibly entertaining, to say. But, for now, this is what you get. Peace.

The now infamous thought.
"Whenever I see daredevil, I catch the stupid 'he's blind, yet they still said that' jokes way too early and start laughing. Why? No clue."

See? That wasn't even a thought you could work with....more of a statement.

I really need to get annoyed at stuff and give you good material.

A Server For The Masses
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: Finger 11 - One Thing
Alright, since my reader is getting a little testy...I suppose I'll not do my English assignment and rant about something. Yes, I do believe ranting is more important than school. Well, for now at least since yesterday I did homework (listened to music, chatted online, and looked at my homework is a bit more precise) for 5 hours straight, I'll take a break by entertaining the masses (heh). But what to rant about exactly?....

:: Thunder :: BRAINSTORM :: Lightning ::

1. Servers and how great they are for Starcraft
2. School is for playing games in Networking
3. Hacking is for 31337 h4x0r5 that can actually get through my firewall

In fact, I just got my topic. Why are people so intent on hacking my computer that in a total of two hours I would have 300+ attempts to access my computer from someones personal computer. And most of these have the same IP address, so I know that there's either a lot of computers that use a single cloaked IP that are trying to take over my computer, or one person trying to take it. Either way, my firewall has won over 300 times, so my real [rhetorical] question is this. Why do they keep trying? I may have to refer to my past experiences and total lack of caring whether my idea is correct or not, because you see, it can be right, or it can't, either way, I win.
So, on to my theory. See, I'm thinking that instead of doing the cool thing and making the game Doom work as an administrative tool (really long story...and I'll probably explain), they decided to use their programming skills to create a new type of hacker. The Doom H4x0R. This is a type of hacker that has the mind for creating a virus powerful enough to self propagate through download.com by finding a certain unknown hole in Norton Antivirus and Novell 5.1 overlapped by a Suse Linux OS which is inevitably running on download.com's server (I assume, therefore I know), then slipping the virus, which will be able to detect the server's usage limit (which if exceeded, the server would turn off) and make sure to always stay below that limit while inserting itself into every installation file on the server. It would be a good plan, but see, the Doom H4x0R is too busy turning Doom into a vehicle for slightly better than average hacking. And since they're actually playing a game, this is why they can try and break into my computer, which has 56k, more than 300 times.

Anyway, even if they continue being such the insanely apt to destroy the internet, but not deciding to do so, I'll still win because I have 56k. And even if somehow, they shoot a big hole into my OS with their rifle (assuming they're still playing Doom) I'll still win because not only do I have backups, but was also planning on erasing my computer again.

That's enough ranting for me.
I'm Josh, and I'm out.
Here's your thought: "Hmm...I think Max stole my ending thing....He has thoughts as well?!? No one shall have thoughts but ME!!!"

"Bwahahahahahaha, breakin out the rifles of hacking and bustin caps in your hard drive."

Pandora muahahaha...(fade off into space directly from evil laugh)
Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: Donnie Darko Soundtrack - Manipulated Living
Ok, as of around 10 seconds ago, I began to not care about the emoticon thing and apparently randomly chose caffeinated. I find it ironic. You might too if you had any idea how long I've been awake (almost 37 hours). See, now you do. Unless you totally missed that parenthesized statement.

Anywho (proper grammar? who needs it? : answer= me), I should talk about something. Hmmm.....Movies. Especially with the aptly chosen song above. In fact, I've seen that movie 4 times. And one of the times was with commentary. Watched it the whole way through with commentary last night/this morning. It is a great movie, and now I realize that not even the writer has any clue what it's about at the end of the movie. At least now, I know I'm not alone.

That's enough about Donnie Darko (#1: I'm too tired to continue, #2: I Recall no #2). So, on to the movie I watched last night. Hero starring Jet Lee (spelling? eh...). To make a long story short, the previews lied, it's a decent movie, and therefore gets a rating of 2 out of 4 Home Alone 3's.

Well, I'm done, and must sleep because....way too much awake.

Here's your (my) thought.
"Next time you go to a haunted house, I wouldn't be surprised if you heard Manipulated Living from the Donnie Darko soundtrack and thusly crapped your pants."

Ah, The Sweet Sweet Smell Of Realworld Emoticons...
Now Playing: Green Day - Warning
Mood: Rocker

Yep, I'm going to make my own moods from now on. One's that fit my actual mood a little better.

Anyway, I have no rant right now. Although, I might just carry on about how the blog editor has no real world emoticons. Maybe if I do, Angelfire will update the wonderful interface yet again and add in emoticons like 'pissed: ' and possibly even 'Happy Go-Lucky: '. Doubting the last one will be added, but we'll see. Oh, we will.

Anyway, they need some emoticons...blah blah....heard it all have you? I'll show you heard it all. Wait, I just got an idea! I could add a bunch of realworld emoticons to my blog, one rant at a time, and for those who want them, just copy the code! Or not. Either way, I still gain the +14 point bonus from my wonderpoints (it's where you push up the points so they look bigger).

Well, I'm out.
Here's your thought: Why do people not like the movie Donnie Darko? Is it because people have the attention span of...
:: smacks reader upside the head ::
as I was saying, the attention span of a cricket? I think....
:: Whacks reader with a bucket of MSG ::
Well, I think that was a useful waste of time (hmm....somewhat oxymoron-ish, eh?).

"But, Josh! That wans't even a thot!!!rofl!!!11!"

Dear Badly Schooled Individual,
Screw you.
Sincerely,
I'm greater than most people in public school.

P.S. No, I don't know how they get that to fit on my Driver's License.

Wow, If I knew Programming...
Now Playing: Hoobastank - Crawling in the Dark
Mood: P.O.ed


How's that for a real world emoticon? Eat that angelfire.

Anyway, I'm going to rant about, you guessed it (or not...most likely) Microsoft. Guessed it? Didn't think so. If you did, have yourself a piece of cheesecake from the cheesecake factory. And be sure to buy the $50 cake. Don't be a penny pincher, cause pennypinchers just look funny, because the penny is never going to get smaller (damn your technicalities).

Well, first things first, Microsoft. If I could program, I would spend a good 3 days of programming and create an operating system that would basically be as good as windows 95, but see, mine would be a lower featured version. Why I would do this is that, every week or so, I'd create a plug-in for it that would either give it a new feature or make it look better. Then, once every 10 or 20 plug-ins, I would sell update discs for a dollar per disc. What most people don't get is that if you build a good operating system (by good, I mean sturdy and not extremely buggy) and sell it at a low price, it will sell extremely well. And with all the customers who buy it, you would have a wide market for frequent update discs at low low prices but still have a very large revenue.

I could give out generalized statistics (and will), like 1 in 4 families having a computer and, on average (based on a 5 person per family estimate and 350 million people in the U.S. [assuming that extra languages is too much of a hassle), it's a 17.5 million person industry. And let's just assume that only 1%, wait no, lets go lower, .1% buy your OS. That's 1,750,000 people buying your disc at lets say $20 (even $10) a disc. That's a lot of money, and when you factor in the update discs, holy crap. The income is insane.

Now, you see my point. If Microsoft wasn't a bunch of money grubbing whores, not only would they have less problems with pirating, but also, a still insane amount of revenue (they'd still have 50-60% of the computer buying community to sell to). Maybe not ungodly amounts, but still enough to buy Canada.

I'm done, and if I owned Microsoft, I'd buy Canada.

*The Above Statistics Are Not Approved By The U.S. Census And Most People In Lithuania*

A Little Fine Tuning
Mood:  accident prone
Now Playing: Green Day - American Idiot
Wow, these emoticons are gay beyond all belief. It's almost insane...So much stupid stuff on the internet now a days (wow, overused phrase...?)

See, this is why I should train my ranting skills up. Apparently, the only person who reads this is Max. The reason for this is probably that I don't actually tell people about this blog if they don't find it on their own. And even then, some people don't become regular readers. So, it seems I am not putting out (heh) high enough quality content for these people who couldn't think up the things I type here if they were continually bludgeoned with a large, metallic object. Which wouldn't be a bad idea. Maybe a car fender, with duct tape around the thin, handle type, part so you wouldn't get cut or anything while the bludgeoning commenced. And all the while, I would be typing down crap that no one reads just for the sake of ranting.

Anyway, before I get carried away (which I either did, or soon would have), I'm going to do what I normally do, but this time, with more thought and possibly even gusto. Yes, I will most definitely use those words in this rant. I am pretty tired and may not have the greatest ranting capabilities, but I'll put forth the maximum effort allocated to me being an ass and possible entertain you.

Sexual Innuendo: An awesome tool, or just blatant cheap laugh machine?
I, personally, think both, but that's just my opinion. As is everything else I say/type in this blog. Yet, I still have people (maybe 2!) who read this and (very likely) agree with at least some of it, thusly spreading my opinions on to other people. Ah, the power of subliminal advertising. My plan in the next part of this rant is to do what I would normally do, but also add subliminal things to make you want something. If I do it correctly, it will be great, otherwise, it'll be a complete waste of time. Either way, I win.

So, on with the rant.
The world needs a lot of things. And the most needed thing of all is to build a massive building, around 100-150 stories high made of heavy duty steel (because dirt is heavy) and fill each story with a plantation. This would have to happen after we create a powerful enough spacecraft to go to jupiter or some other planet with insane amounts of hydrogen so we would have enough to easily soak them in it instead of soil. Not sure if this would be required (or possible without destroying the crops), but I'm sure something awesome would result. Anyway, put nutrients and whatever else the plants need into the hydrogen they are soaking in. Then, once all of the food was produced, we'd be able to sell it at low low prices and make lots of money and solve world hunger and whatever other awesome things would result.
Anyway, That's about all the rant I have. And I'm going to, once this rant is over, use what Max does as my ending thing. Just substitute my name and another phrase. It's sad to think that I actually typed this. Especially without any credible information. If I were forced to create a 'works cited' page for this I'd be screwed. In fact, here you go.

**Works Cited**

Rodriguez, Charlie, "The World Is An Oyster, Suck It Up", 6-14-99, p.28

Jeff, Screamin', "Trials And Tribulations Of A Stunt Diving Salesman: An Autobiography", 2-28-01, p.44

**

I'm Josh Allison, welcome to my nightmare.