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Wednesday, 20 April 2005

Now Playing: The Exies - Splinter
"Im battered and bruised, Scratched on the inside;
Im losing myself, im so sick of the lies;
Dead ring in my ears, the hole underneath;
Youre deep in my skin,youre the splinter in me."

So, it's been a while and a few things have happened. These things consisting of life in general; (the usage of an elipsis would be appropriate, but I will restrain myself) namely mine.

So, seeing as I haven't yet 'gone for it', I suppose I should inform all my readers (feeling optimistic yet again in my search for escape from this social ineptitude, codenamed: my life) that my plan is to go for it within the next two weeks. Hypothetically, I may have seen a couple of signs that a mutual acceptance may be reached after this step has been taken by me, and no matter how awkward these snowshoes of courage that I'm currently wearing may be, I'll have to hobble my way into a stance that will allow me to do so and see if these signs were not just a figment of my somewhat deranged sense of self assurance that I am, in fact, not striving for the unattainable. In fact, in my current state, I don't even have the energy to reread that last sentence to make sure it makes sense, but either way, it contains my thoughts, and thusly, if you want them and they are, truly, encoded within a labyrinth of thought, you'll have to get out your machete of decyphering and forge onward.

Besides this, the girl and I (notice the proper grammar?) were the only ones in our english class to be pulled aside and asked to attend a presentation by Harvard. We'll be pulled out of 3rd hour, and this may be where I hobble on over and try not to trip over the tennis rackets on my feet which metaphysically embody my courage. In fact, I'm sure that I might even take the snowshoes off for a day, and when this day comes, I will finally release myself from my inner torments.

But, basically, the reason that people don't understand (or read in general) my rants, Max, is that I engulf them with a longing to grab a dictionary at times due to a thing which Ryan (a kid in my networking class) most lovingly dubbed as "the spreading of the gap of intelligence differences" that we, the human race, are slowly creating. (ex. Smart people want other smart people; Dumb people can't get smart people; smart+smart=smarter offspring and the inverse, etc.)

Surprisingly to me, though, is the fact that the dumbed down ones are the only ones who read rants. That and disturbed people like ourselves. It seems to be an unending torrent of things correlating against me and my need to be heard. A capping off of my thoughts, leaving them here in this tiny amount of blog space to slowly ferment in their own juices.

Sadly, this is the outcome. The ending of this rant. No discoveries. No revelations. Just a deep misunderstanding of all things in the world. Left to be solved or reminisced about later on.

But as for me, it is time for this one to come to a close.
**top of the case is lowered to the bottom of the case**
**latch snaps**
**combination lock spins in infamy, defying all who wish to trespass within**

and it is done
my world of writing has ended for today
and I am 17 again

Posted by games4/joshstigames at 8:06 PM CDT
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