Rayjay's Halloween Story!Rayjay: Behold! I am the Great Rayjay and today is Halloween! That means I will have my fair share of teeth rotting non fruit foods and other nonhealthy foods.The doorbell rings. Rayjay: Now who could that be? Kid: Its pretty obvious who it is on Halloween night you moron! Now open the door and give me some candy! Rayjay opens the door. Kid: Candy! Rayjay: You must say Trick ot Treat first. Kid: Candy! Rayjay: Trick or treat! Kid: Candy! Rayjay: Whatever. I don't have any candy right now at the moment, but you can help yourself to some delicious fruit and Wheatables. Kid: What!? No Candy? Rayjay: Its Halloween you fool. All the candy is saved for me. The kid kicks Rayjay in the shin and leaves. Rayjay: Ow!!! No one kicks the Great Rayjay! Kid: Yeah, whadya gonna do about it? Rayjay: Hmm... I know what to do about it. Rayjay goes out to his garage and takes out his fruit powered super car. He then uses it to chase the kid clear across America. Kid: Agghh!!! Stop chasing me! Rayjay: Eat some Wheatables! Kid: Agh!!! Take my candy! Rayjay: Candy eh? Rayjay stops the car. Rayjay: Wait a minute, you have no candy. Just for that, I will leave you here as I go back home. I still have to put on my own Halloween costume so I can go trick or treating. Rayjay drives away. Kid: Hey wait! How am I supposed to get home!? Where am I anyway? Mr.Neill: u f001! u R In C@n@d@!111!!1! u WHORE!!111!!1!1!!! Kid: Aggghhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!! Meanwhile, the Great Rayjay drives back to his home to put on his Holloween costume. Rayjay: You are never too old to freeload off others for cheap 99 cent candy. Now to put on my costume. He puts it on. Rayjay: Behold! I am Santa Claus! Ho! Ho! Ho! Rayjay then goes outside to the house next door. Rayjay: Trick or treat! Neighbor: Is that you Rayjay!? I told you never to talk to me again. Now after what you did to my garage and my wife's hair. Rayjay: It'll grow back. Neighbor: What are you doing anyway? Aren't you too old to be out trick or treating? Rayjay: No. Neighbor: And who are you supposed to be anyway? Is that Santa Claus? You damn idiot! Who in the hell dresses up as Santa Claus for Halloween anyway!? Rayjay: I thought it up to be an original costume. Neighbor: You are the dumbest thing I ever seen before in my life! Go away! Rayjay: Not until I get my candy. Neighbor: Never! The neighbor slams the door shut. Rayjay: Well that was pretty rude there. The next house will have to do. Rayjay then proceeds to the next house. Rayjay: Trick or treat! Nothing happens. Rayjay: Hmmm... Trick or treat! Still nothing happens. Rayjay: What the... HEY I SAID TRICK OR TREAT NOW OPEN UP WHAT ARE YOU THE NOT OPEN DOOR FOR PEOPLE HOUSE OR DO YOU THINK YOU ARE... An old lady steps outside. Rayjay: Its about time. Old Lady: Hello. What would you like? Rayjay: I want candy. Give me some of that candy that you bought with the money you earned after your hard working hours of labor that could have been spent on much better things like a toaster or a bannana nutmeg cereal. Old Lady: Excuse me? You see, I have trouble listening to people when they don't speak up... Rayjay: ITS HALLOWEEN YOU OLD BAG! HURRY UP AND GIVE ME SOME CANDY BEFORE YOU DIE!!! Old Lady: Oh, is it that time already? Well I'll be just a minute. The old lady goes back inside the house. Rayjay: Its about time. Two hours later the old lady returns with a small bag. Rayjay: Its about time. That bag must hold my candy. The Old lady reaches into the bag and pulls out two pennies and gives them both to Rayjay. Old Lady: Now you can buy yourself some chocolate mint brownies, go see the newsreel at the picture box, buy a couple magazines and if you're lucky, you will have enough change left over a few pieces of hard candy. Rayjay: Two pennies? Old Lady: Enjoy. Don't buy too much hard candy. Rayjay: I waited 2 hours for pennies!? I would kill you if you weren't so close to death already! Rayjay angrily storms to the next house. Rayjay: Trick or treat! Now give me some candy! Man: I'm sorry. But we're uh... out. Yeah, thats it. We ran out. Rayjay: You liar! Now wheres my candy!? Man: We have none. Rayjay: Doesn't anyone have candy that they would like to give me!? Man: Yeah. The next house. Go away. The next house had more Halloween decorations that it should have. Pointless skeletons were scatered everywhere, cheap random decorations were scattered around the front lawn in an attempt to look good for Halloween. So many things were thrown about, it was almost impossible to get to the front door. Rayjay: How am I supposed to get to that door when Mr. Decoration Overload flooded his lawn with useless crap? Rayjay walks over the pointless decorations and trips over, ripping his candy bag. Rayjay: Oh no! My candy bag! If I had candy in it all of it would have spilled out! He stumbles to the front door and rings the bell. Rayjay: Trick or treat I say! Gusman: Ah! Its the jolly fat man! You're the first trick or treater I've had all night! Rayjay: That happens when people can't get to your front door. Now give me candy. Gusman: Candy... candy... hmmm... Rayjay: Hmmm? What do you mean hmm? There are no hmmms, only candy! Gusman: Well with all these decorations up, I forgot to buy the candy! Now isn't that something! Rayjay: What!? YOU TOO!?! Rayjay runs away from the place tripping over every decoration he comes by. He then runs into a homeless guy on the street. Rayjay: Ah! You look like someone that can give me what I need! Bum: What? Rayjay: Some candy. Bum: Candy? I can't afford candy. Look at me, I can't afford anything. Rayjay: You liar! Bum: No. I mean, look at my toothbrush. I've been using it for 10 years. I found it in the trash. Don't know who it belonged to first. Rayjay: Ugh! Thats sick! Bum: Well, theres nothing I can do about it. Rayjay heads back home, candyless. He goes there to see 3 people throwing eggs at his house. Rayjay: Agh!!! Get away from my house! Rayjay heads into his garage again and presses a button. His whole front yard blows up. Rayjay: That'll stop them. He goes into his living room at grabs an apple. Rayjay: At least I got fruit to eat this year. Good old fruit. If... The doorbell rings. Rayjay: Hmmm... another one. Since I have no fruit I guess I'll give them this apple. Rayjay opens the door to see a little kid, and a tall man in a suit next to him. Small Kid: Trick or treat! Rayjay: Yeah yeah, I know. Heres an apple. As Rayjay is about to hand the kid the apple, the guy in a suit takes it away from using a pair of pliers. Rayjay: What the... hey! Health Inspector: I am the Health Inspector. What are you trying to pull? This does not look safe. I mean, theres not even a wrapper! Rayjay: Its an apple. Theres not supposed to be a wrapper. HI: Look at it. It could be deadly. Or it could contain some strange African disease from the North Pole. Or it could be some kind of nuclear device. A bomb of sorts. Rayjay: Whats wrong with everyone? Halloween isn't about dangerous treats, or pointless decorations, or cheap costumes, or even ten year old toothbrushes that you use but don't know where it came from. Small Kid: Huh? Rayjay: The true meaning of Halloween, is deep inside after all... IS: I think I see what you mean...
Rayjay: Zorbing is the true meaning of Halloween!
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