My Interview With Shigeru Miyamoto

Well I was at the local fruit market today when I saw Shigeru Miyamoto.When I told him what he was doing there he told me some Japanese stuff that I could not understand.Fortunatly,his translator was also there.I gave him an apple and started to talk.

RJ:So,why would you be here?This makes no sence at all.

SM:Well I came to see what avrage Americans know about GameCube.

RJ:You came all this way for that?

SM:Yes.I came here to ask some local person some questions.

RJ:Woah there.I ask questions first.Uh....so.... what are you going to show at E3?

SM:I am going to show the Ultamate Pokemon game.It will be the best Pokemon game ever.It will sell no matter what because it is Pokemon.

RJ:Pokemon?I dont really care.....what about Mario and Zelda?

SM:I have the new Mario game and it looks great so far.Mario has a spicy meatball attack where he eats a meatball and says "Thats a spicy meataball!"

RJ:Are you serious?Mario would never do that....

SM:Well I am Shigeru Miyamoto.I can do whatever I want with my creations.

RJ:What about Zelda?

SM:The thing about the new Zelda is that it takes place 70 years after OOT.

RJ:70 years!?!

SM:Yes,that is right.It is called "The Legend of Zelda:Wheres my Cane?" and it features a really old Link who has to deal with the problems losing his false teeth,trying to remember something that just happened 5 seconds ago,and arthritis.Link must defeat Gannon and his evil plan of robbing the world of Viagra.

RJ:Is this for real?

SM:Yes.It is part of our change Nintendo's image plan.

RJ:What about Metroid?

SM:Well when it was changed to a FPS,they gave it to Rare since they know more about that stuff than we do.In exchange,they let us develop the next Banjo game.

RJ:Banjo-Threeie?

SM:Yes,but we are changing the name to Collect-A-Thon2000.It will have no story,but lots of collecting!

RJ:That is what killed DK64.Are you trying to remake that?

SM:Oh yes.Picture this.1000 notes per world.But instead of notes,you collect pieces of notes.10 peices equals 1 note.And then you got other stuff to collect too.

RJ:Sounds boring.uh...with Rare making Metroid,what will happen to Perfect Dark 2?

SM:That is getting a whole new look.You play 3 levels of intense mind numbing rapid fire shooting that requires no skill at all.

RJ:That will make a lot of people very angry.

SM:It is part of my other plan.Make these games bad so the only other choice will be Pokemon.

RJ:Err......that cant be right at all.....but here is one thing I know will never change.At least I hope not...who will be in the next Smash Brothers?

SM:Everyone from the original plus 50 new Pokemon characters.It may even be renamed to Super Pokemon Brothers.

RJ:I think this interveiw is over.That is more than I wanted to know.I dont know what to say........

SM:Did you know that Pokemon has collecting too?That is what makes great games.Collecting stuff!

RJ:.......

SM:But if you realy want to find out more,see if you can find me at E3.

RJ:You know I will...