Yamauchi: The Man, The Myth, The GlassesNo true Nintendo fan ever leaves the house without wearing a pair of Yamauchi glasses. He has been known by many names (Mizar once refered to him as "that angry guy") but one thing always remains certain. You will never see him without also looking at his glasses. As they say, the glasses make the man. They say that right?Anyway, I wonder how much money a pair of real life Yamauchi glasses would go for on ebay. 2 million? 16 billion? Yes, it is that hard to get your hands on a pair. What I think is that Nintendo should hold a contest. The grand prize would be a pair of Yamauchi glasses. I would win this contest. I don't know what the contest would be about or what you would have to do, but I would win it.
|
The Man Himself
Lets all take a look at this guy. At close inspection you can see that he is one of the ugliest guys I have ever seen. And the glasses don't help either. But its th glasses that give him his strange "obey me" look. His angryness is just something he does. Maybe its because he is so ugly? But I think I know the real truth about why he always looks angry even when he looks happy. The Glasses Are Surgically Attached To His FaceSimple as that. He can't take them off. He even wears them while singing about Nintendo in the shower (a nice mental image for all of you) or yelling at an idiot on the street while somehow still in the shower (another nice mental image). It also explains why you never see him without his glasses. They look pretty damn old too. The look like 80s or 70s wear to me. Maybe thats when he bought them. Yes, he must have bought them at a strange glasses shop. It also must have went something like this...Yamauchi: Hello. Do you have any glasses? I am hoping they will not make my face so ugly. ShopMan: Yes, take these. They look horrendously ugly. Yamauchi: I said I wanted something that would make me look less ugly. ShopMan: Yes, but with your face they will. Yamauchi: You are right. Can I try them on? *And then in a not so strange twist of face, Yamauchi tries on the glasses* Yamauchi: I don't like these glasses. I see everything in an ugly orange color. *He tries to take them off, but they are stuck forever* Yamauchi: Hey! Whats going on!? ShopMan: AHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAH! AHAHAHAH! HAHAHA! HAHAHA! You will wear those forever! Yamauchi: No! Take them off! I will get you for this! ShopMan: You will never take them off! *They then procede to fight each other using swords, super karate, big robots, and beams of destruction until Godzila comes and they run away* Yes, I know it happened just like that. I also must know where I can get a pair just like Yamauchi's. Not only do they make you angry, but they also let you see the world in an ugly orange color as he mentioned. That is why I would not be suprised if they made a FPS game about Yamauchi. You would see through his eyes and shoot things. Now thats a good idea. What other games could star Yamauchi?
Yamauchi in Online AngrynessYou would play as Yamauchi and be angry. You would also get angry points. The more angry points you get, the angrier you become. Since it would also be online, you would get a whole world of angryness.So the final question is this. Where do I get a pair again? Once I find some, you can be sure that I will tell everyone. After all, you are no Nintendo fan without a pair of Yamauchi glasses. It also goes the same for Sony, Microsoft and Sega. What you need is Bill Gates glasses and Yu Suzuki's scalp. I don't know about Sony. Try to get the president's pants. Now take a really close look at his face. I mean really look deep in there. What do you see? Can you tell his emotion? Is he happy or sad? He looks confused with a touch of angryness as well. What is he looking at? These questions will never be answered and will forever be a part of Yamauchi's mystery. I have nothing else anymore but may do something else about this strange and powerfull man some other time. |