Wheatables

And now for something new...

Useless Crap

Recently I have been finding myself eating these Wheatables crackers from Keebler. Yes, sometimes I eat these instead of getting up and making something good to eat, but these crackers were designed many people, lazy people being on the top of the list.

Also because you know when I start talking about Wheatables you know I really don't have anything more to add to this site, even though you look at it and can say that it needs a lot more. Visitors would be a good start...

Read what it says on the back of the box. It sounds simple enough right? Well, I assume that you are normal so you should be able to read this without a problem.

Naturally Delicious Flavor!

WHEATABLES crackers are the kind of simple, lighty sweet snack that can help you though your busy day.

Right out of the box, they're an old favorite with a new crunch -- at youtr desk, after class or whenever you take a few minutes for yourself.

And they're perfect for the whole family, especially when you're on the go and everyone needs a tasty treat.
Whether its a playtime snack at the park, a picnic after soccer or a handfull while you're on the road, WHEATABLES crackers are perfect: as a treat and for treating yourself right.

Okay, thats it. Now that you have read something like that, go see now what goes on in my mind when I read something like that...

Naturally Delicious Flavor!

Yeah, the naturally delicious flavor of wheat...

WHEATABLES why did the set Wheatables all in caps? crackers are the kind of simple, lighty sweet snack lightly sweet? My brother complains that he hates these because they are too sweet. that can help you though your busy day. Oh yeah, a cracker is going to help with my busy day.

Right out of the box, they're an old favorite Old favorite? I never heard of these crackers before until a few months ago. with a new crunchA new crunch? Whatever happened to the old crunch? Did a bunch of scientists sit down and say, "This crunch sounds newer than the old crunch." What? -- at your desk I don't see people eating a bunch of Wheatables at their desk. , after class So, you you coming over after class? I'm sorry, I have to rush home and eat my Wheatables.or whenever you take a few minutes for yourself.Yeah right, someones gonna plan to take a few minutes in their day just to eat some Wheatables. Almost like Gecko's tea time.

And they're perfect for the whole family, especially when you're on the go and everyone needs a tasty treat. What they are trying to say is, while driving along, don't stop to get something to eat. Wheatables are all you need.
Whether its a playtime snack at the park, a picnic after soccer or a handfull while you're on the road Yes, driving at eating Wheatables at the same time goes along nicely., WHEATABLESThere it is in caps again... crackers are perfectHow can crackers be perfect? I never seen anyone eat a cracker and yell out, THIS IS THE PERFECT CRACKER!: as a treat and for treating yourself right.That last part explains itself.

So now you see what I saw when I read that. But it does not stop there... no way...

You see, I don't know why everytime they spell out Wheatables, it has to be in caps. It must be some rule or something. And even worse, on the front of the box it say this...

Now More Snackable!

So what I am guessing is that they were not as snackable as before. But a better reason for seeing this is just to put some crap that makes no sence and to sell a few extra boxes of Wheatables. "Now More Snackable!" can be just as bad as "Bigger Crunch!" or something. I tell you, if you buy something just for a bigger crunch, then there is no hope for you. But at least with a bigger crunch you have the chance of annoying the person next to you with your ungodly loud crunching chips, but the fact is they always have the same crunch as before. And "Now More Snackable!" is worse crap than this site.

And if that is not enough then they have to give you four separate "flavors". The only flavors I can make out of these four are plain and honey. See what I mean when I show you this...

Wheatables Original : The original Wheatables. The great taste of wheat. Whatever.

Wheatables Original Reduced Fat : Now, I don't know what happened to wheat with all the high nuclear bombing and pollution, but I always thought that wheat was already low fat. Basically, a less flavored version of original. Ugh.

Wheatables Seven Grain : Its Wheatables! Now made with seven different types of grain! Tastes so good it makes me want to throw up.

Wheatables Honey Wheat : This looks like a flavor for a change. Honey eh? Well my brother already complained that the Seven Grain one was too sweet already so I have no hopes for this one.

Thats it. It is all I have to say about that. At least for now until I can make up some flavors of wheat. Blame Keebler for making these crackers, as the only reason why I have stoped eating them, is because I have no more left...