
I was wandering around the fruit market yet again you see, and I found the 7Up man about to buy some fruit. I stoped him though, so he could buy my fruit and not theirs, and then started up an interview with him. He had no choice really. He started to drink a 7Up, and gave me a Cherry 7Up, and we started to talk. I wanted to see if he was really like the way he was in those 7Up comercials. No he wasent. He was worse.
Rayjay: So, are you really the 7UP man?
7UpMan: Why yes, yes I am. You know what makes the interview really special? The fact that it is being done with some nice refreshing 7Up. Make 7Up yours!
Rayjay: Oh yes. I can see that you really are the 7Up man. How did you become the uh... 7Up man anyway?
7UpMan: Well you see, we were looking for a replacement to that red spot thing with shades. I crashed through the window for no reason to the presedent of the 7Up company's house and started to talk 7Up with him. After a while I was put in these serious 7Up comercials where I tell everyone about the joys of 7Up.
Rayjay: Serious comercials?
7UpMan: Well I think of them as very serious. Make 7Up yours!
Rayjay: Yeah, I think that has been overdone in the past few months.
7UpMan: Overdone? But... how can it be overdone? Its 7Up!
Rayjay: Well what I a trying to say is...
7UpMan: How can you say such a thing about 7Up? Its the Uncola!
Rayjay: That was overdone too. Thats why they got rid of it. Why do you do that anyway?
7UpMan: Its an up thing. Its cool and its wonderfull and its totally fine, its 7Up, yeah its an up thing.
Rayjay: And I thought I was a scary man to be around. Can I do the 7Up taste test? I want either the rancid milk or dishwater liquid.
7UpMan: Yeah, that'll be fine by me. As a matter of fact, I have all that stuff with me right now. I never leave home without it. I'll get the blindfold and you can just pop the tab and we will be on our way.
Rayjay: Uh... okay.
This was the part when he set everything up. I was in a blindfold and standing next to the 7Up man.
7UpMan: Okay, now drink this first.
Rayjay: I taste it. This is obviosly the 7Up.
7UpMan: Now drink this.
Rayjay: This tastes like rotten eggs. I thought I asked for the rancid milk or dishwater liquid?
7UpMan: Oh I am sorry, we were all outta that. Now tell me which you prefer?
Rayjay: Well, the 7Up is not very fruity at all, so I am going to have to go with the rotten eggs.
7UpMan: Say what?
Rayjay: The eggs, 7Up man.
7UpMan: The eggs? The eggs!? What are you talking about?
Rayjay: Do you want to see my can?
7UpMan: In all my months of doing this noboby has ever not chosen 7Up. Whats wrong with you? Was there something wrong with it? Were the bubbles tickling your nose?
Rayjay: Here is your problem. All this time you have been testing normal people. You were bound to one day test someone like me.
7UpMan: It just can't be right. I am sorry, but I am going to have to end this interview right now.
Rayjay: Okay, I am sorry that I did not choose 7Up. Have this new fruit I just grew. It is called the 7Up fruit.
7UpMan: 7Up fruit? Where is the tab?
Rayjay: There is no tab.
7UpMan: Then how am I supposed to pop the tab? It is not 7Up without tab popping.
Rayjay: Then have this coconut. The milk has been replaced with 7Up and I added a tab.
7UpMan: Hey man, thats great. Now if you excuse me, I have to paint a 7Up logo on another basketball court and wreck another car race with my slow driving. I'll see you some other time fruit man. Oh and one more thing.
Rayjay: Whats that?
7UpMan: Make 7Up yours!