Interview With the 7Up Man

I was wandering around the fruit market yet again you see, and I found the 7Up man about to buy some fruit. I stoped him though, so he could buy my fruit and not theirs, and then started up an interview with him. He had no choice really. He started to drink a 7Up, and gave me a Cherry 7Up, and we started to talk. I wanted to see if he was really like the way he was in those 7Up comercials. No he wasent. He was worse.

Rayjay: So, are you really the 7UP man?

7UpMan: Why yes, yes I am. You know what makes the interview really special? The fact that it is being done with some nice refreshing 7Up. Make 7Up yours!

Rayjay: Oh yes. I can see that you really are the 7Up man. How did you become the uh... 7Up man anyway?

7UpMan: Well you see, we were looking for a replacement to that red spot thing with shades. I crashed through the window for no reason to the presedent of the 7Up company's house and started to talk 7Up with him. After a while I was put in these serious 7Up comercials where I tell everyone about the joys of 7Up.

Rayjay: Serious comercials?

7UpMan: Well I think of them as very serious. Make 7Up yours!

Rayjay: Yeah, I think that has been overdone in the past few months.

7UpMan: Overdone? But... how can it be overdone? Its 7Up!

Rayjay: Well what I a trying to say is...

7UpMan: How can you say such a thing about 7Up? Its the Uncola!

Rayjay: That was overdone too. Thats why they got rid of it. Why do you do that anyway?

7UpMan: Its an up thing. Its cool and its wonderfull and its totally fine, its 7Up, yeah its an up thing.

Rayjay: And I thought I was a scary man to be around. Can I do the 7Up taste test? I want either the rancid milk or dishwater liquid.

7UpMan: Yeah, that'll be fine by me. As a matter of fact, I have all that stuff with me right now. I never leave home without it. I'll get the blindfold and you can just pop the tab and we will be on our way.

Rayjay: Uh... okay.

This was the part when he set everything up. I was in a blindfold and standing next to the 7Up man.

7UpMan: Okay, now drink this first.

Rayjay: I taste it. This is obviosly the 7Up.

7UpMan: Now drink this.

Rayjay: This tastes like rotten eggs. I thought I asked for the rancid milk or dishwater liquid?

7UpMan: Oh I am sorry, we were all outta that. Now tell me which you prefer?

Rayjay: Well, the 7Up is not very fruity at all, so I am going to have to go with the rotten eggs.

7UpMan: Say what?

Rayjay: The eggs, 7Up man.

7UpMan: The eggs? The eggs!? What are you talking about?

Rayjay: Do you want to see my can?

7UpMan: In all my months of doing this noboby has ever not chosen 7Up. Whats wrong with you? Was there something wrong with it? Were the bubbles tickling your nose?

Rayjay: Here is your problem. All this time you have been testing normal people. You were bound to one day test someone like me.

7UpMan: It just can't be right. I am sorry, but I am going to have to end this interview right now.

Rayjay: Okay, I am sorry that I did not choose 7Up. Have this new fruit I just grew. It is called the 7Up fruit.

7UpMan: 7Up fruit? Where is the tab?

Rayjay: There is no tab.

7UpMan: Then how am I supposed to pop the tab? It is not 7Up without tab popping.

Rayjay: Then have this coconut. The milk has been replaced with 7Up and I added a tab.

7UpMan: Hey man, thats great. Now if you excuse me, I have to paint a 7Up logo on another basketball court and wreck another car race with my slow driving. I'll see you some other time fruit man. Oh and one more thing.

Rayjay: Whats that?

7UpMan: Make 7Up yours!