The Magic Special M1A2 Abrams
Once upon a time there was a magic M1A2 Abrams tank. This was no ordinary magic M1A2 Abrams, but a special magic M1A2 Abrams. It had a machine gun firing 120mm rounds. It destroyed 3 armor divisions in 5 minute. This tank could also convert into infantry form. While in infantry form it could board other special magic M1A2 Abrams that are in APC or amphibious landing vehicle forms. After it went through the jungle it converted to helicopter form and when in the air to F117 Nighthawk form. It fired a cruise missile at an American destroyer because the pilot was drunk. THe special magic M1A2 Abrams is equipt with a state of the art entertainment center for the armor division it holds. The system consists of a 72 inch HDTV with a DVD player and cable TV. THe computer on board is a 100mhz Dentium with 128KB RAM and a 56 baud modem. It connects to Alchoholics Online via a satellite dish which is mounted on the right wing, which is the left tank track in tank mode. The M1A2 Abrams in F-117 form landed and deployed the armor division. Then it converted to tank mode and the drunk pilot, also the gunner in tank mode, blew up the armor division. Suddenly 300 cruise missiles zoomed in and almost got the special magic M1A2 Abrams, but the sharpshooter fired his .22 caliber pistol at them and blew them up. He then fell down and was crushed by the tank. Suddenly the tank ran out of gas and they had the push the tank to a clear spot so it could deploy the gas station. After the refueling, they packed up the gas station and went to Iraq, where they fought 5 Iraqi armor divisions. Suddenly an Iraqi soldier went berzerk. He dropped everything he had and grabbed a stick. Because of the extreme cost of the entertainment system, different modes for the tank, and the armor division on board, the tank lacked decent armor. The Iraqi jumped in the tank and beat the drunken gunner until he passed out. The crazy Iraqi tore the 120mm machine gun off the tank and shot the Americans. He then shot his fellow Iraqis because he too was drunk. Suddenly a cruise missile aimed for the M1A2 Abrams, because of the insanity of the crew, hit the Iraqi soldier, killing the Iraqi, destroying the 120mm machine gun, and destroying the last bit of evidence that proved the special magic M1A2 Abrams tank was a disaster and should have never been attempted. Congress then passed a law forbidding Monica Lewinsky to decide on military spending.
By Cp. Medico Niko
