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TONIGHT'S MATCHES:

Sonny Sousa vs. "X"

Kurt Manson vs. Justin Time

Buzzard vs. Fuzz

--Loser Is OUT OF THE XWF--

Young Blood vs. Short Circuit

Stark Deacon vs. Carl Hanes

"Reckless" Ryan Styles vs. Antichrist

--Flamethrower on a pole match--

Cyclone vs. Head & Shoulders (Migraine & Damage)

Epic vs. Mad Mullet

MICHAEL EXTREMER vs. JUSTIN GREENWOOD

--X-TREME TITLE MATCH--

(Barbed Wire and Bombs)

The show opened with JUSTIN GREENWOOD talking to FRAN DAMAGE about a new stipulation for tonight’s X-TREME title match.

"So that’s the plan! It’s a MENTAL MATCH! The loser gets thrown into a MENTAL INSTITUTION!! Whaddya think?"

”I think YOU should be in a mental institution for even coming up with a STUPID ASS idea like that! A MENTAL INSTITUTION? We ALL belong in a mental institution! EXTREMER wants his title shot, and we’re giving it to him, PERIOD. No crazy stipulations or bizarre events, just you and Michael in a cage full of barbed wire and bombs.. Nothing crazy. By the way, speaking of crazy, are you and HAVOK still a tag team? We’ve got that tournament coming up and I’d sure like to see you two lose in the first round.”

"I’m not gonna lose in the first round.. And HAVOK is.. Uh.. Can I get back to you on that?"

”Do whatcha gotta do. I need to go find MIGRAINE anyway.”

FRAN walks away to find his tag partner, and owner of the fed, MIGRAINE. On his way, he bumps into Universal champ EPIC, who seems more than happy to see him.

"FRAN! What’s up? Nice job getting into the front office! You and MIGRAINE are really doing a great job! I like what you’re doing to CYCLONE tonight! I hate that guy!"

”Are you SERIOUS? I should kick your ass right here right NOW for what you did to me at HELL ON EARTH!”

"Hey! Relax, guy! I did what I had to do, just like YOU did what YOU had to do! And now look at us! You’re the VP, and I’m the Universal Champ! We both got what we wanted! We’re a lot alike, you and I.."

”You know, you’re right! We’re like twins! Look at this!”

FRAN turns around and MOONS EPIC.

”It’s like you’re looking into a MIRROR!!”

FRAN pulls his pants up and storms away. EPIC smiles to himself and goes back to prepare for his match. Elsewhere in the back, ANTICHRIST was standing next to the bloated CAPTAIN BEEFCAKE, who was satisfying his craving for a cheese sandwich after seeing “Freddy Got Fingered” that afternoon. His mouth is full as he speaks.

”Abbicwuff, Weef guh wih bunife, whu?”

”Yes, BEEF, of course we will win. And once I’ve burned RYAN STYELS to a crisp with that flame thrower, the XWF will see that I’m serious about doing whatever it takes to put you and me on top of the XWF..”

”Wih I fih aw thuh toh?”

”Yes, BEEF, you’ll fit on the top. Now finish your sandwich and follow me...”

The event began with the standard pyros and the first match began immediately..

Sonny Sousa vs. X

Stipulation: NONE

Title: NONE

[The two started off relatively even, but SOUSA quickly showed the upper hand, beating the unprepared X and wrapping up another unimpressive victory.]

WINNER: SONNY SOUSA

KURT MANSON vs. JUSTIN TIME

Stipulation: NONE

Title: NONE

[JUSTIN appeared to be out of shape and groggy, and KURT MANSON wasted no time kicking a large hole through his chest, avoiding all the major organs. JUSTIN was not at all pleased with the large hole, and was even less pleased with the immense loss of blood, which quickly made him pass out, allowing the uncaring MANSON to pin him easily. Oddly enough, nobody seemed to notice how badly JUSTIN TIME was injured, but they gave MANSON a nice “Welcome to the fed” round of applause.]

WINNER: KURT MANSON

BUZZARD vs. FUZZ

Stipulation: Loser is OUT OF THE XWF

Title: NONE

[The crowd really didn’t care who won, since both men were more or less absent from competition, but they watched anyway, since they were in the arena and it was the only match taking place at the time. The two men were about to square off when a fan tossed a styrofoam cup into the ring! It tapped BUZZARD on the ankle and BUZZARD WENT DOWN, screaming in pain and clutching his leg! FUZZ jumped on BUZZARD and got the win! He stood up in victory just as a giant set of lights unhinged from the rafters and swung down, smacking him right in the jaw! FUZZ was out cold! The crowd was THRILLED to see such a horrible injury! The chants began! X W F!! X W F!!! As the EMT’s rushed FUZZ out of the arena, the crew fixed the lights.]

WINNER: FUZZ

SHORT CIRCUIT vs. YOUNG BLOOD

Stipulation: NONE

Title: NONE

[YOUNG BLOOD started off strong with the seasoned veteran, using a number of moves he’d shown in the past, but SHORT CIRCUIT countered most of them and answered with more outstanding holds and attacks. It didn’t take long for CIRCUIT to dominate the match and hand YOUNG BLOOD his first loss in the XWF..]

WINNER: SHORT CIRCUIT

<marquee>The match you thought you’d never see... MULLET vs HANES for the HART TITLE!... And the TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT BEGINS!.... </marquee>

MONDAY, MAY 7...

The show returned with a MegaTron shot of EXTREMER entering the back door of the building with his gym bag over his shoulder. The fans give him an impressive cheer from the arena floor. JAYZON and CYCLONE enter behind him, both looking ready for whatever may happen tonight. EXTREMER turns to them both.

”So that’s the deal, right? We’re watching each other’s backs tonight more than usual! CYCLONE’s got all that crap with MIGRAINE and DAMAGE, so we’ll be there for him if it gets ugly, and JAYZON, you the man tonight if I get in some mess with GREENWOOD. I don’t want anything screwing up this match for me, so you just sit back until it looks like I need ya, cool?“

The crowd watches as the three SANCTUARY members agree on the game plan. The action returns to the ring..

STARK DEACON vs. CARL HANES

Stipulation: NONE

Title: NONE

[STARK DEACON started off powerful, with intermittent bursts of energy followed by moments of extreme tiredness. HANES was consistent in his pummeling style. The fists were flying and the action was heated. The fans were enjoying the well-matched pair duke it out in the ring, showing a variety of outstanding moves that the fans really get into. The match is really too close to call for several minutes. Then, from the back, THE MAD MULLET comes out with a baseball bat! He runs down to the ring and jumps on the apron just as HANES tosses DEACON into the ropes! MULLET clocks DEACON in the back of the head with the butt of the bat! DEACON falls to the ground unconscious! Was MULLET back together with his partner? He told CARL to pin him and CARL grabbed a microphone..

”Is THAT what you THINK? You think you can just come out here and hit someone over the head with a BAT and make everything all better? That might be how it works with your daddy, but YOU AIN’T MY DADDY! You really think you need to come in here and show the world that I need YOU to fight my battles for me? I got two.. or maybe three.. words for you, MULLET.. TAKE A HIKE“

The crowd cheered loudly for the angry HANES as he stood in the center of the ring and stared down MULLET. MULLET looked apologetic as he climbed in between the ropes and took the mic from HANES..

”Now look here, junior. I ain’t here to fight your battles for ya, I just want to make sure my little buddy is okay cuz I care about ‘cha! ..And I don’t want nothin’ bad happenin’ to ya before we get another chance at them tag team titles! Whaddya say, champ? Are we still down like four flat tires on the Chevy on your mama’s front lawn or what?“

Mullet extends his hand to HANES, and HANES looks back at him for a moment. He then reluctantly reaches out and the two SHAKE HANDS! The crowd BOOS! Then, inexplicably, MULLET uses the hand hold to WHIP the battle-weary HANES into the turnbuckle! He then charges with the BAT over his head! THWACK-O! HE SHATTERS THE WODDEN BAT OVER HANES’ SKULL! HANES is OUT COLD! MULLET gives him the finger and storms out of the ring and up the ramp to the hateful screaming of the fans. Back in the ring, DEACON wakes up and slowly notices that HANES is down. He crawls over and hooks the leg. 1.. 2.. THREE! CARL HANES gets screwed AGAIN by his own TAG PARTNER!]

WINNER: STARK DEACON

”RECKLESS” RYAN STYLES vs. ANTICHRIST

Stipulation: Flamethrower On A Pole

Title: NONE

[RYAN came out with EPIC at his side, and ANTICHRIST surprised nobody by appearing with CAPTAIN BEEFCAKE. The two participants got into the ring in a civilized manner, and their two tag team partners stayed on opposite sides of the ring outside, both taking a good look at the pole sticking up from one corner of the ring holding a flamethrower at the top.RYAN and ANTICHRIST locked up, and RYAN got an impressive headlock on his opponent. ANTICHRIST turned it into an Irish Whip and RYAN went into the ropes. ANTICHRIST went for a clothesline but RYAN ducked, bouncing off the opposite ropes and coming back with a dropkick to the face! ANTICHRIST went down and RYAN brought him back to his feet for a quick body slam! BEEFCAKE slapped the canvas to get ANTICHRIST to get up, and RYAN grabbed ANTICHRIST again. This time, ANTICHRIST caught him with a jab to the face followed by a snap suplex! ANTICHRIST picked him up again and hit a double-arm DDT! RYAN was down! ANTICHRIST ran to the corner for the flamethrower! He started to climb the turnbuckle, but RYAN was quick to get to his feet and stop him! He tugged him off the turnbuckle and sent him crashing to the ground! The two went back and forth on each other for several minutes and the fans really got behind them. EPIC and BEEFCAKE kept to themselves outside the ring, cheering on their partners. The two men wee looking weary in the ring, but continued to battle it out. RYAN connected with a giant piledriver and went to the turnbuckle! He climbed up, but saw ANTICHRIST getting up! HE DOVE off the turnbuckle and connected with a HUGE missle dropkick! ANTICHRIST WENT DOWN HARD! RYAN ran over to the corner again, but BEEFCAKE grabbed his ankle from outside the ring! RYAN was pulled down to the canvas, where he quickly BOOTED BEEFCAKE in the face, sending him into the barricade where his flab poured over and knocked some drinks out of fans hands! ANTICHRIST started to get up as RYAN headed back up the turnbuckle to get the flamethrower. ANTICHRIST ran over and grabbed RYAN’s head, slamming it into the pole! RYAN was dazed and he slipped backwards. ANTICHRIST caught him and propped him up on the top turnbuckle, climbing up behind him and setting him up for a SUPERPLEX! And he NAILED IT! RYAN was temporarily OUT! EPIC knew there was trouble and he rolled into the ring quickly to attack ANTICHRIST! EPIC unloaded with a ton of fists and ANTICHRIST was overpowered! While this was happening, the ref was trying to break it up, so he didn’t see BEEFCAKE slowly lumbering up into the ring and to the top turnbuckle, where he was able to shake the flamethrower loose and grab it! He climbed back down as RYAN got up and joined the double team on ANTICHRIST! BEEFCAKE aimed the flamethrower at the two men, but ANTICHRIST was in there with them! He couldn’t shoot! EPIC finally saw this and dove on BEEFCAKE, beating him silly and getting the flamethrower out of his hands! He aimed it at BEEFCAKE and BEEFCAKE quickly flipped himself over the top rope, splashing to the floor outside. EPIC yelled at RYAN to move and FIRED the flamethrower at ANTICHRIST! Ba-WOOSH! ANTICHRIST rolled out of the way and out of the ring! The bell rang and the match was declared a DISQUALIFICATION since EPIC was the one who fired the flamethrower, not RYAN. The match was awarded to ANTICHRIST! EPIC and RYAN were LIVID, vowing revenge on the SPIRIT CRUSHERS as they headed up the ramp.]

WINNER: ANTICHRIST

CYCLONE vs. HEAD & SHOULDERS

Stipulation: 2-on-1 handicap match

Title: NONE

[CYCLONE came out alone and stood in the ring like a champion. He feared no man, and wanted to make sure everyone knew it. FRAN and MIGRAINE came out running at top speed to the ring. CYCLONE started kicking FRAN as he rolled in and MIGRAINE rolled in behind him. It was a 2-on-1 beating from the start, as MIGRAINE unloaded fifty-pound fists all over CYCLONE, who fought just to stay on his feet! FRAN grabbed CYCLONE and whipped him to the ropes, then MIGRAINE whipped FRAN into CYCLONE as he came back, connecting with a giant flying cross chop! CYCLONE was in trouble early and JAYZON and EXTREMER came out to help, and JAYZON immediately dove in the ring and grabbed FRAN by the hair, pulling him off CYCLONE and beating him up with a series of jabs to the forehead, busting FRAN open! MIGRAINE saw this and went after JAYZON, but EXTREMER was there and he stopped MIGRAINE with a boot to the gut. MIGRAINE grabbed EXTREMER and grabbed him by the throat! he picked him up high in the air and hit a massive CHOKESLAM, knocking the wind out of EXTREMER long enough to go over and pick up JAYZON. He tossed JAYZON to the other side of the ring and helped up FRAN, who called for the bell. DING DING DING!]

WINNER: HEAD & SHOULDERS

CYCLONE was glad the beating was over, but EXTREMER and JAYZON were just getting started! The two jumped on FRAN and MIGRAINE again and started wailing on them! CYCLONE got up and joined the attack! MIGRAINE and FRAN were being outnumbered! Suddenly, from the back EPIC came running out! He jumped into the ring and grabbed CYCLONE! He hit the KNOWLEDGE OVER GAIN on CYCLONE!! EXTREMER ran at EPIC but EPIC hip tossed him OUT OF THE RING! JAYZON got up and faced EPIC. The two stood face to face without making a move. FRAN grabbed JAYZON from behind and hit a reverse DDT, then rolled JAYZON out of the ring! EPIC stood in the ring with MIGRAINE and FRAN, and the three men looked at each other. Was EPIC trying to secure his title by befriending the HEAD OFFICE, even though they threw him out of power less than a week ago?

EPIC vs. MAD MULLET

Stipulation: NONE

Title: NONE

[EPIC stayed in the ring after everyone else had left, and he waited for MAD MULLET to arrive for the scheduled match. Moments went by and MULLET’s music hit. No MULLET! The music faded.. The crowd didn’t know what was going on! The MegaTron lit up with a shot from the back, and the fans saw MAD MULLET lying face down on the ground with an ALUMINUM baseball bat lying next to him. EMT’s rushed to MULLET and began to check him out. EPIC looked up at the screen and smiled..]

WINNER: EPIC

<marquee>The pain begins soon.. Sooner than you think.. </marquee>

SATURDAY, MAY 26.ONLY ON PAY-PER-VIEW

</center>MAIN EVENT

MICHAEL EXTREMER vs. JUSTIN GREENWOOD

Stipulation: Barbs n’ Bombs cage

Title: X-TREME TITLE

[EXTREMER and GREENWOOD both entered to large ovations, and they both looked in top form. EXTREMER was still ready for battle, despite his earlier run-in with the HEAD OFFICE. The cage was entwined with barbed wire and was smaller than the usual cage, making it closer to the ring than the standard cage. During the break, the ropes had been removed for this final match and there were now 24 small C-4 detonators all around the ring. Not enough to rip a hole through metal, but easily strong enough to blow out an eardrum or burn flesh. The two men sized each other up, and the match was on! EXTREMER was first to attack with a whip to the ropes, JUSTIN slammed hard against the cage wall and barbed wire stuck him hard in the back, causing him to wince in pain! EXTREMER headed toward him and hit a quick belly-to-back flip on him, sending him crashing to the canvas and hitting his leg on one of the bombs! BOOM! JUSTIN’s leg kicked back into the air from the blast and he rolled over and got to his feet to assess the damage, but EXTREMER was on him before he could see what happened! EXTREMER unloaded a barrage of punches on JUSTIN, but JUSTIN pushed him off and got back to his feet! He gave EXTREMER a quick boot to the gut and hit a killer DDT! He then picked JUSTIN up and whipped him into the unprotected corner, causing EXTREMER to crash into the cage wall on two sides and surrounding him with jagged metal wire! EXTREMER pulled the wire off his face and got a small patch of skin with it! His cheek was ripped up pretty good, but he didn’t care! JUSTIN grabbed him again and went to whip him to the other side, but EXTREMER reverse it and whipped JUSTIN FACE FIRST into the cage wall! RIP!! JUSTIN’s face his the barbed wire at top speed! JUSTIN’s face is SCREWED UP! He slowly pulls away and the camera zooms in to see a lot of blood and some skin hanging! EXTREMER runs over and hits a back body drop onto another bomb! BOOM! JUSTIN’s chest takes the impact! JUSTIN rolls around in agony and EXTREMER goes to pick him up again. JUSTIN somehow flips over EXTRMER and PUSHES HIM FACE FIRST INTO THE WALL, THEN SUPLEXES HIM ONTO THE CANVAS, SETTING OFF TWO BOMBS! BOOM BOOM! Both men are screwed up bad! JUSTIN gets up and all of a sudden a CHAIR falls into the cage! It was JAYZON WILLIAMZ! He was there to help EXTREMER, just like they promised! He ran to the cage door with a second chair in his hands as JUSTIN got to his feet. EXTREMER got up too and both men headed for the first chair. JAYZON came into the ring and ran at JUSTIN, but he stepped on a BOMB and FLEW ACROSS THE RING, TAKING OUT EXTREMER with the chair! EXTREMER fell and JAYZON fell onto another BOMB! JAYZON looked temporarily stunned! JUSTIN got up and quickly but carefully got every remaining bomb and placed them all in a cluster in the center of the ring! He picked up EXTREMER and went to BODY SLAM him onto the bombs! But JAYZON somehow came up with a LOW BLOW and JUSTIN let go of EXTREMER and doubled over. EXTREMER, quickly hooked JUSTIN into a PEDIGREE! NO! DON’T DO IT MICHAEL! MICHAEL angled JUSTIN right over the bombs and BOOM BOOM BANG BOOM BOOM BANG POW BOOM!!! PEDIGREE ON THE BOMBS!! PEDIGREE ON THE BOMBS!! MICHAEL rolled JUSTIN OVER and through the smoke, the ref ran into the ring and counted ONE.. TWO.. THREE!!! NEW X-TREME CHAMPION! NEW X-TREME CHAMPION! MICHAEL grabbed the belt and held it up high as the blood poured down his face.]

NEW X-TREME CHAMPION