PSYCHOBABBLE

INTRODUCTION
Card game for 2-4+ Players. 
Players are Therapists trying to cure their patients and themselves. 

WINNING
The player with the most Total Victory Points (VP) wins.
Gain 10 VP for each patient you cure. 
Loose 10 VP for each patient you fail. 

GAME END
The game ends after exactly 1 Hour. 

THE BOARD
The Board is a square track. Each side has 13 spaces. 
Space:			Notes:
Red Office		Corner Starting Space 
Generalized Anxiety	Gain 1 NP
Group Therapy		Cure 1 NP +1 per pawn on this Space
Chance			Draw 1 card from the Chance Deck
Set Goals		Cure 1 NP 
Postmodern Life		Gain 1 NP
Chance			Draw 1 card from the Chance Deck
Quiet Desperation	Gain 1 NP
Psychobabble		Cure 1 NP
Chance			Draw 1 card from the Chance Deck
Rehab			Cure 2 NP
Self-Absorption		Gain 1 NP
Blue Office		Corner Starting Space 
Relapse			Gain 2 NP and move back 1D6 Spaces
Defense Mechanisms	Cure 1 NP
Chance			Draw 1 card from the Chance Deck
Retail Therapy		Cure 1 NP
The Human Condition	Gain 1 NP
Chance			Draw 1 card from the Chance Deck
Victim Mentality       	Gain 1 NP
Repression		Cure 1 NP
Chance			Draw 1 card from the Chance Deck
Anti-Depressants       	Cure 2 NP
Insecurities		Gain 1 NP
Green Office		Corner Starting Space 
Angst			Gain 1 NP
Pop Psychology		Cure 1 NP
Chance			Draw 1 card from the Chance Deck
Self-Realization       	Cure 1 NP
Burnout			Gain 1 NP
Chance			Draw 1 card from the Chance Deck
Cognitive Dissonance	Gain 1 NP
Sublimation		Cure 1 NP
Chance			Draw 1 card from the Chance Deck
Self Help Books		Cure 1 NP
Apathy			Gain 1 NP
Yellow Office		Corner Starting Space 
Panic Attack		Gain 3 NP
Closure			Cure 2 NP
Chance			Draw 1 card from the Chance Deck
Denial			Cure 1 NP
Guilt Trip		Gain 2 NP and move ahead 1D6 Spaces
Chance			Draw 1 card from the Chance Deck
Dysfunctional Family	Gain 1 NP
Breakthrough		Cure 2 NP
Chance			Draw 1 card from the Chance Deck
Daily Affirmations	Cure 1 NP
Shame Spiral		Gain 2 NP

DICE
Six sided dice are needed. 

SETUP
Each player gets 1 Random Therapist card. 
Each player gets 2 Random Patient cards. 
Each player picks 1 Office to be their Home (starting) Office. 
(If more than 4 players, players will have to share office space)
Each player gets a set of pawns. 
(Pawn set color does not have to be the same as office color)
A player’s location pawns start in his office
The least mentally stable player goes first. 

PAWNS
Therapists and Patients are collectively referred to as pawns. 
Pawns can be in the form of chits, counters, markers, etc. 

PAWN SETS
Each player has a set of pawns of a unique color. 
All Pawns are numbered. 
For each number there are two pawns with that number. 
(For example: two red #1’s, two red #2’s, two red #3’s, two red #4’s etc.)
 The #1 Pawns are used for a player’s Therapist: 
Put one (the Identity pawn) on the player’s Therapist card to indicate ownership. 
Put the other (the Location pawn) on the Board to show the therapists location. 
The other pawns are used in the same way for a player’s patients. 

DIRECTION OF MOVEMENT
Pawns always move clockwise unless otherwise directed by a card or space. 

NEUROSIS POINTS
Each pawn starts play with 2D6 Neurosis Points (NP). 
Use coins or tokens to represent NP. 
Stack these NP Tokens on the Therapist/Patient cards. 
If a Patient is ever rid of all of his NP he is completely cured. 
The cured patient is removed from play and counts as positive VP for the owning player. 
If a patient ever has over 20 NP he is considered to be a failed patient and 
Is removed from play and counts as negative VP for the owner. 
If a Therapist pawn has over 20 NP, he can no longer gain new Patients and 
Any patient he lands on gains 1 NP. 
The term cure is also used to mean the removal or loss of NP. 

TURN SEQUENCE
Players take turns. 
On your turn get a number of dice equal to the number of pawns you control. 
Each of your pawns must move exactly once on your turn. 
Roll one or two dice at a time. These are referred to as "Progress" rolls.  
Assign each roll to one of your pawns and move the pawn that number of spaces clockwise.
When a pawn lands on a space it must obey the instructions on the space, but 
Only after it interacts with any pawns already there. 

LANDING ON OTHER PAWNS
If the space contains multiple pawns pick just 1 to interact with. 
If your therapist lands on another therapist: 
Send that therapist to his office, but he cannot recruit a new patient. 
If your therapist lands on an opponent’s patient: 
You may gain control of that patient on a roll of 5 or better on 1D6 (Steal roll). 
If your therapist lands on one of his own patients: 
That patient is cured 1 NP. 
If one of your patients lands on an opposing therapist: 
He may try to gain control of the patient on a roll of 5 or better on 1D6 (Steal roll). 
If one of your patients lands on an opposing patient: 
The opposing patient gains 1 NP. 
If one of your patients lands on your therapist: 
The patient is cured 1 NP.
If one of your patients lands on one of your other patients nothing happens. 

OFFICE SPACES
If one of your patients lands on your office, it is cured 1 NP. 
If your therapist lands on your office you may recruit a new Patient on a roll of 
4 or better on 1D6 (Recruit Roll).  If successful, draw a new patient card. 
The pawn for the new patient starts in the Office. 
If your pawn lands on an opposing office, nothing happens. 

PATIENT LIMIT
A player can have a max of 5 patients at a time. 

CHANCE DECK CARD LIST
Name:					Notes:
The Abyss				If this Patient has 15+ NP it is Failed
Insanity       				If this Patient has 15+ NP it is Failed
Placebo					Cure 1 NP
Substitute Gratification       		Cure 1 NP
Optimism       				Cure 1 NP
Psychoanalysis				If this Patient has 5 or less NP it is Cured
Twelve Steps Program			Cure 2 NP
Wishful Thinking       			Gain 1 NP & Move forward 1D6 Spaces
Sibling Rivalry				Gain 1 NP
Self-Sabotage				Gain 2 NP
Primal Scream Therapy			Cure 1 NP
False Memory Syndrome			Gain 2 NP
Commitment Issues			Gain 1 NP
Dream Interpretation			Cure 1 NP
Disillusionment				Gain 1 NP
Get No Respect				Gain 1 NP
Weekend Retreat				Cure 1 NP and move ahead 1D6 Spaces
Can't Get No Satisfaction		Gain 1 NP
Self-Fulfilling Prophecy       		Gain 1 NP
Binge					Gain 2 NP
Existential Dread			Gain 1 NP
Catharsis				Cure 2 NP
Psychological Scars			Gain 1 NP
Unfulfilled Sexual Wishes		Gain 2 NP
Oppositional Defiant Disorder		Gain 2 NP
Paranoia       				Gain 2 NP
Irrational Fear				Gain 1 NP
Delusions of Grandeur			Gain 2 NP
Phobia					Gain 2 NP
The Holidays				All Pawns gain 1 NP
Nervous Breakdown			Gain 3 NP
Insomnia       				Gain 2 NP
Ambivalence				Gain 1 NP
Incorrect Diagnosis			Gain 2 NP
Redemption				Cure 1 NP
Emotional Baggage			Gain 1 NP
Newyorkitis				Gain 1 NP
Malignant Narcissism			Gain 2 NP
Midlife Crisis				Gain 3 NP
Adult Temper Tantrum			All Pawns in space Gain 1 NP
Moment of Clarity			Cure 1 NP
Encounter Group				Move Pawn to your Office
Shock Treatment				Cure 3 NP
Touch Inner Child			Cure 1 NP
Inner Demons				Gain 1 NP
Identity Crisis				Gain 3 NP
Go Postal				Patient is Failed 
Freudian Slip				Move back 1D6 Spaces
Synergy					Move forward 1D6 Spaces
Self-Actualization			Cure 2 NP
Sensitivity Training			Cure 1 NP
Empowerment Coaching			Cure 1 NP
Behavior Modification			Cure 1 NP
Cognitive Therapy			Cure 1 NP
Research Study Subject			Draw 2 more cards

PATIENT CARD LIST
Name:				
Penis Envy Pam			
Arthur the Addict			
Obese Bertha			
Peeping Tom			
Billy the Bed Wetter		
Peggy the People Pleaser		
Nikki the Nympho		
Lithium Larry				
Charles in the Closet		
Psycho Ted			
Carl the Kvetch			
Sam Junior 			
Co-Dependent Cathy
Paranoid Pete			
Mr. Oedipus Complex		
Mrs. Munchausen		
OCD Adrian			
Grownup Child Star 		
Tony the Tough Guy		
Neville the Neatnick		
Mack the Misanthropist		
Joey the Jerk			
Bipolar Bob			
Anal Alan			
Melancholy Moe			
Vera the Psychic Vampire
Doug the Double Dipper		
Helen the Hypochondriac		
High-Maintenance Missy		
Polymorphously Perverse Phil	
Cory the Control Freak		
Cindy the Confabulator	
Barney the Black Sheep	
Polly the Perfectionist		
David the Degenerate		
Nihilistic Nick			

THERAPIST CARD LIST
Name:				Notes:
Freudian Psychotherapist       	Patients fully cured at 3 NP or less
Jungian Analytical Psychologist	Cure 2 NP when therapist lands on own patient
New Age Guru			Steal Roll +1
Life Coach			Reroll up to 2 Progress rolls per turn.
Existential Psychotherapist	When drawing Chance, draw 2 cards and discard one
Experimental Psychologist	Failed Patients are only -5VP 
Doctor of Psychiatry		Your Patients cured 2 NP when they land on your Office
Personal Development Coach	Your Patients are immune to other player’s patients
Relationship Counselor		Recruit Roll +1
Humanistic Psychotherapist	Your Therapist moves an extra 1D6 spaces on your turn
Holistic Healer			Patient Limit +1
Clinical Psychologist		Fully Cured Patients are worth 11 VP
Cognitive Behavioral Therapist	Reroll any one dieroll on your turn