NOTES TO MY SONS

INTRODUCTION
Not a Game. Quotes, Notes, Random thoughts for my sons to ponder 
after I’m gone. 

NOTES
--- Life is full of tough decisions 
--- Everybody deserves a chance
--- Forgive, forgive, forgive
--- Do not be petty
--- The world is full of beauty and wonder
--- Its ok to make mistakes
--- Other things are more important than being right all the time
--- Do not depend on other people for your happiness
--- Nothing happens (the way you want it to) unless you make it happen
--- Alan: It is what it is (Quote from my father)
--- Alan: He Who, Who He
--- Some things you have to figure out for yourself
--- Alan: God blesses the child who has his own
--- Seymour: Tell them I was a whoremaster, one of the best. (Quote from my father’s father)
--- Gone but not forgotten
--- Fame and fortune is not as important as goodwill and service
--- Be someone you can be proud of
--- Salvation and immortality will be found in the Apotheosis of Technology (Religion)
--- Do not neglect spirituality
--- Do not become slave to your obsessions
--- Self control is the mark of maturity
--- A good belly laugh is one of the finer things in life
--- Be Bold
--- Have a plan
--- Learn to adapt and adapt again
--- Appreciate complexity
--- Never stop learning
--- Seek the company of creative, intelligent, accomplished, funny people
--- Use the brains that God gave you
--- There is nothing you cannot do (with some effort)
--- Saying you can’t  does not improve the situation
--- Being good at something is a great source of satisfaction
--- Do not be quick to judge
--- Every story has multiple sides and none are necessarily wrong
--- Every time you give up or fail to start it is a regret
--- Let other people help you
--- Be part of a team
--- Go where the action is
--- know your limits and work around them
--- A bigger group can do things a smaller group cannot
--- Think for yourself
--- Hurting people is a great evil
--- Be part of the solution, not the problem
--- Lift up the people around you, do not push them down
--- Show your love
--- Find joy in little things
--- Lead with your heart
--- Be Iconic
--- Black and white is more iconic than grey
--- Art, Love, and Beauty are things to strive for
--- Aspire to a better way
--- A little fanaticism is ok
--- Be a leader not a follower
--- Moderation in all things
--- Moderation is for Monks
--- Learn to live with Contradictions
--- Keep the mind active
--- Know you are loved
--- Have an open mind
--- Find comfort in the written word
--- Our ancestors were full of all kinds of wisdom
--- Author Recommendation: Harold Bloom
--- How you think changes over time
--- Its ok to change your mind
--- Its ok to admit you are wrong
--- You are more than just your current collection of thoughts and feelings
--- Watch old Movies
--- Make every day a celebration
--- There is magic all around
--- Open the window and look outside
--- Try new things
--- Simplicity and complexity are both good
--- Create things
--- Bad things are wake-up calls
--- Relish in the details
--- No field of knowledge is closed to you
--- Its ok to Geek-Out; to be a Fan
--- Let it wash over you; flow past you
--- This too shall pass
--- Its all good
--- Make the world a better place
--- Always watch trains, boats, airplanes, animals, water, and wind go by
--- Be kind to people and animals
--- Be green
--- Pay attention to architecture
--- Watch clouds and storms and sunrises and sunsets
--- You are part of nature. If you don’t think so, see how long you can hold your breath
--- Story: Two bulls on the Hill. The younger one says “Lets RUN down and F**k a Cow!” 
The older one says “No. Lets WALK down, and F**k them all” 
--- Time is precious
--- Morale is critical
--- Master what you dread - make it your own
--- Work and maintenance can cure boredom and anxiety
--- Fear only exists in the absence of other things
--- Be a Philosopher
--- It takes a certain type of Heroism just to get through the day
--- Think about the distinction between goodness and greatness
--- Dwell upon the Big Picture
--- Marvel in the spectacle of the unfolding of Human History
--- Recommended SF Book: LEM the Cyberiad
--- Situation: 2 Pirates about to be hung for murder: The first says “But I’m Innocent”
The second replies: “Think back about your life, you must be guilty of something” 
--- Be thankful for the time you have
--- Done is good 
--- 100 years ago, I would have died sooner. 100 years from now there will be a cure. 
--- Timing is everything
--- We went from muskets to nukes in less than 100 years. 
--- Enjoy the company of both men and women
--- Cultivate your inner knight, samurai, ninja, warrior. 
--- The most important facts of your life can change quickly
--- Don’t be bitter - get up and do something
--- There are always fresh new horrors to outdo the previous ones
--- It doesn’t matter if you can’t win, as long as you get to play. 
--- Everyday is a good day
--- Take your place at the center
--- Feed the Fish - Do what you have to do
--- Always in search of inspiration
--- Its not enough to buy the book, you have to read it too
--- You don’t really understand something until you have to teach it
--- TV like other things can be used to connect or to distance
--- Life is full of lessons. Be open to them
--- Woody Allen Quote: Life is divided into the miserable and the Horrible
--- Life, you always want more of it
--- The world needs people who know how to do things
--- Its ok to live vicariously, a little
--- Enjoy the moment and ride off into the sunset
--- Appreciate and make time for the people in your life
--- Life is full of surprises - good ones
--- Cover all your bases
--- Loyal friends and family are your best assets 
--- Learn from everything
--- Be hard when you have to
--- One bad decision will compound another. Make good decisions
--- Mantras and rituals can center, orientate, soothe, and guide
--- We are starstuff… we are golden… 
--- Our mortality gives us our humanity
--- Everything is Art
--- Life is Movement
--- Allow for stillness
--- Let ennui become meditation
--- The nuances of life are all important
--- Only God knows what we need
--- Did God create man or did man create God?
--- Recommended Movie: Days of Darkness
--- Recommended One Man Show: Huey P. Newton
--- If the dead could come back for a day, what would they want?... A night of Passion
--- Fun, then Health, then Business
--- Rabbinical Wisdom: Every generation seeks to undo the work of the previous generation
--- Go fly a Kite
--- Don't believe in Leaders
--- I See said the blind man...
--- Stew when you are alive is better than flowers when you are dead
--- No one escapes death. All you can do is leave a heritage for the next Generation


LINK
Bar Mitzvah Speeches    


ON LIFE & DEATH & CANCER
--- I constantly see smokers and the morbidly obesse all around. How is it I have cancer 
at a young age and they don't?
--- Bad genetics... Breast cancer is in the Family.  My dad died of Brain Cancer at 56. 
--- Bad Karma... Who did I piss off?  What Witch or Warlock cursed me after some minor slight?
--- Carcinogens... I don't smoke. However, 25 years of non-stop coke & coffee drinking. 
--- A diet filled with refined sugar... If that was the cause then Diabetics would be at a 
much higher risk for cancer, which they are not. 
--- Stress... No lack of that. 
--- God wants to teach me a lesson... Well I hope I have learned it, whatever it is. 
--- God wants me with him, to keep him company. I am finally worhy of his attention and 
there is no further self-actualization necessary. He is calling me... (Good for my Ego)
--- I look at old people and am jealous.
--- At the Pharmacy I know I am as sick or sicker than all my patients.  
--- Dante believed a man's thinking was not truly free until we became 81 years old and 
desire was removed. Then a man could be truly wise.   
--- Mustine was the first chemotherapy back in the 40's. 5-Fu was developed in the 50's. 
I am on 5-Fu. It is according to evidence based medicine the best available for stage 4 Colon 
cancer. In 1865 we were fighting the American Civil War. We were killing each other with 
Muskets. Just 80 years later in WWII we were dropping Atomic Bombs out of Airplanes. 60 years 
ago Watson & Krick discovered the structure of DNA. Medical science is constantly progressing. 
Immunotherapy, Genetherapy. Pharmacology. To my Doctor... Don't shoot muskets at me if you can 
drop the Bomb. 
--- Bring me back... A request to my sons. I expect a cure for cancer in 20 years. I will have 
just missed it, but you, my young ones, may have greatly increased lifespans... medical and practical 
immortality (See my game "Apotheosis of Technology" for my predictions). If this is so then 
eventually the technology will be there to bring me back... The Omega Point, Time-Travel, Use AI 
to reconstruct my personality and imprint it on an acceleratedly grown clone using my DNA. By
whatever tools become available to you, bing me back... I want to see and be part of the Future. 
--- I think of my remaining life now in terms of months not years or decades. I am more prone to 
partake in minor indulges. I make the moments and the occasions count for more. It is in some ways 
a blessing. I can more readily see what is important and what is not. 
--- I did not know before I was born, and so I wont know when I am gone. We are like all things 
ephemeral. It is not so bad being a temporary phenomenon, like a lightning bolt, or a falling 
leaf, or a cool breeze. Just another sunset. Just another laugh. Just another story.
--- Since getting cancer I have... Laughed out loud, cried, made others laugh, told jokes, 
heard jokes, comisserated, played on the beach, played games, written games, watched new movies, 
watched documentaries, read books, saw friends, saw relatives, had good meals, had good sex, 
worked hard, played hard, went to theme parks, went on roller coasters, had insights, learned 
things, grew, forgot things, enjoyed things, watched my boys grow, gained new obsessions, learned 
new bad habits (eating rasberry jam with a spoon straight out of the jar), did things I never did
before, watched the world for a little bit longer. 
 

FAVORITE FANTASIES & DAYDREAMS
--- Meeting my wife 10 years earlier.  That way we could have been highschool sweethearts and 
gone to college together. 
--- Going back in time and being a Union Civil War Commander, but using my knowledge of modern 
battlefield tactics and Sun Tzu and the Art of War. 
--- Charles Darwin's Ghost visits and I get to explain to him about DNA, Mendelian Genetics, 
The Genetic Code, Replication, Transcription, Translation, Biochemistry, Mitosis, Meiosis, 
Empryology, Germ Theory, Modern Medicine, and all the things that came after him. 
--- Motzart time travels here and knows English (Universal Translator) and I get to give him a 
tour of all the new Musical Geonras since his time (though I'm not really qualified)





POETRY AND SUCH OF SORTS

Beautiful Sea Shell 
A Dead Thing
What will I leave behind

Searching Searching Always 
A Seeker of truth and light

Laugh and cry
A moment with
A moment higher
changing, flying

A Starting Point
So close before
So far now
To knowing... 
Lost now
That elevated plane 
of brilliant sunrise
A lesson
A step back towards 
that awareness
minus distraction 
and fears upon fears

A Burst of excitation
A Higher State
A Higher Plane
My duty to live upon
and be a beacon
to all who cross my path

Purify my filters
Light them up
Allow the flow
A million new connections
come and see them glow

Some germ of Everything
To living to the Full most

Go Go Go
Everything 
Now!

Take it All in 
Love it
Mix it 
Exude it

I recieve
I process 
I transmit

Living always knowing
Death is on your back
with poison claws 
already in your flesh
makes you a holy man 
a wise man

Walk... to walk amongst 
my fellow men
and radiate light
Impart the joy 
that comes from seeing farther

Touch them with 
truth & Poetry
& Reason & 
Beauty
That flows into 
& through me
A Conduit of mankind
& all his works & 
Wonder
Great & small

From one end to the other
The Universe at my fingertips
All of it in my reach
My sweet appreciation
My endless imagination

Love the Thoughts
The miracle of Thought
The ability to witness 
All Creation
A Billion Billion 
Beautiful Observations
of Man & Nature

The Universe 
is my Domain
And I am its Master

I can see
The Designs
and know
all there is to know 
or imagine it 
and more

What greater gift could there be?

Waking... 
The fruit of the tree of
Knowledge 
is our Heritage
Our Salvation

We are imbued with the greatest of gifts... 
The Ability to
Think 
to Create
to Wonder
to Know
to See

To be 
of this Universe
and to Know 
it

A 
Mind 
A Miracle
Myriad & Multi-Fold 

Take the substances of 
this World and 
Mold them in a 
Million Ways

Soaring Past
The Planets to 
The Farthest
Reaches of 
Existence
Cold Void
Fiery Sun
Star Field
And Nebula
Life And 
Life's Love

A Monk 
A Mendicant
A Priest in White Robes
A Stargazer
A Traveler - on a twisted Road 
A Dreamer through and through

In this time 
we are 
Reaching our Potential 
On the verge
of the infinite