From Darkness to Light, and Back Again
-Part 1-

Tuesday, 27-Jun-2000 06:33:36 writes:

    Lightning illuminated the sky with a brilliant hue, seeming every time to come only an inch away from the ground, the clouds glowing a brilliant dim purple. He knew there was nothing quite like mother nature’s fury… and her beauty. The thick drops of water that fell from the sky seemed to press down on him so hard it seemed like a blanket of water. The icy chill that blazed through the night didn’t go unseen either, for as he exhaled, steam arose from his lips. The wind that blew it back at him, though, didn’t seem to help. The tall grassed blew under the wicked winds, icy drips of water coming off onto his boots, which seemed implanted in the mud. The cold, nor rain, bothered him, but in fact, seemed perfect. Everything had seemed perfect, peaceful, calm… on the outside, at least.

    On the inside, things were tearing him apart. His father… where was he? What was he doing? And he continued to ask himself the same question, over and over… had he fallen back to the dark? Or what about his mother… where had she gone? What had she done? He didn’t even know if she was alive anymore… the connection they had once had through the Force had somehow been severed. He hadn’t seen any of his brothers in ages… and Etrigan was gone. Perhaps not physically… but anything Kedemel ever had in touch with him through the Force was disintegrated.

    He turned around, looking back at the temple, just as a thunderous bolt of lightning crashed down behind it. It connected with something, a tree, or the ground perhaps, sending sparks upwards, illuminating the outer walls of the temple in a fiery hue. He managed to smile faintly, his eyes reflecting the beauteous sight. Everything he’d ever been in touch with was fading away from him faster than he could think to save it. There was one thing more, though, that continued to grow… his hatred. His anger for the fact that his past was slipping away from him… his connection with it through the Force. A year ago… he wanted to let go of the past. Now that he finally was… now that he’d finally reached the point where he could let go… his grasp didn’t want to loosen. It seemed as if he wanted to hold onto it forever and ever. But the worse half of his mind… unbeknownst to him, was what was pushing it away. And he didn’t know how to stop it.

    The dark side was taking more and more of a hold on him every day… even as he wanted it to leave him. He welcomed it a year ago… he wanted to let go of his past of innocence, and become the dark figure that his father had molded for him. Now… he didn’t. The plan for him to become a Master of the unified Force had put that on hold… and perhaps dissolved it completely… and asked for him to accept the ways of the light… and the dark. He’d tried doing that… but it caused a self-conflict inside of him which seemed uncontrollable, even with all of the meditations he was constantly undergoing, under the tutelage of Zian.

    Zian… he’d known the man well for almost a year now. His father had bestowed the duty of watching over him on Grandar. That night his father had left him… he’d assigned Grandar to teaching him in the ways of the Force. Not only the dark… but the light, which was a challenge, even for him. He’d been his only family, for the past year. They’d grown close throughout their training… Grandar helping him… him helping Grandar where he could. They were like fire and heat… they went perfectly together, working together, talking together, even laughing together at times. They had their hardships, yes, but nothing could separate them anymore… not a damn thing. Grandar had been a second father to him… but nothing… not a single being or object in the galaxy… could replace that of his father… his blood… Azazel Gilkane.

    As his mind was emptied of all of the wonderful memories he’d had with his family… his brother, especially… it left more room for the dark side to get a better grip on his mind. The tendrils reached out to him, the darkness, calling to him with every second’s passing. One half of him welcomed it. Yet all the other have granted them was denial. He could barely tell the difference between the two now. He’d fallen… was falling, at least, right into the firmest hold of the Force that possibly existed. The dark side. Nothing was more evil… more dark… more sinister, and he was afraid, that if he didn’t do something to stop it soon, it would totally consume him… and with the knowledge he possessed, he could destroy the entire galaxy if that knowledge was exploited. And nothing… would be able to stop him.

    The rain continued to pummel his body, splashing bits of mud continually onto him. He smiled once more at the temple afar.. and then turned his back. The clouds parted.. only in one spot, allowing the moon to shine through them, causing the wet ground to sparkle under him. He held his arms out to his sides.. his hands clenched into fists. He closed his eyes, and fell to his knees, his upper body still held up straight. His back arched.. a bolt of lightning streamed down from the sky, pummeling his entire body.

    He grinned wide… and then fell backwards.

    Kedemel Sorath Gilkane