Gnomish Terminology

This page has many Gnome-related words to help the cultist better understand the little freaks.

Gnome a freak of nature, strange in appearance and possessing no redeeming qualities whatsoever Note: As gnomes are brain dead this term can be applied to inanimate objects as well.

Gnomic relating to gnomes in it's stupidity and lack of use (ie "Windows is gnomic")

Gnomish like a gnome in appearance or attitude

Gnome Lord an insulting term signifying someone's lack of skill or intelligence, much like the phrase "king of the losers"

Cult of the Anti-Gnome a virtuous organization dedicated to the eradication of all things gnomish. (abbreviation: CotAG)

Abdicate When gnomes give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

Balderdash A gnomes rapidly receding hairline.

Bustard a very rude gnome bus driver.

Carcinoma a valley in California, notable for its heavy smog engulfed gnomes.

Circumvent the gnomes opening in the front of boxer shorts.

Coffee a person who is coughed upon by a gnome.

Esplanade a gnomes attempt at an explanation while drunk.

Flabbergasted A gnomes reaction when appalled over how much weight he has gained.

Flatulence the emergency vehicle that picks a gnome up after being run over by a steamroller.

Gargoyle a gnome and olive-flavored mouthwash.

Lymph a gnome who is walking with a lisp.

Macadam the first gnome on Earth, according to the Scottish bible

Marionettes gnomes in Washington, DC, who have been jerked around by the mayor.

Negligent describes a condition in which gnomes absentmindedly answer the door in their nightie...bleh!

Oyster a gnome who sprinkles his or her conversation with Yiddish expressions.

Semantics pranks conducted by young gnomes studying for the priesthood, including such things as gluing the pages of the priest's prayer book together just before vespers.

Testicle a humorous question on an gnome's exam.

Rectitude the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before s/he examines a gnome

Willy-nilly impotent gnome.