100 Signs You Have Been Playing Too Much Demise

This page is a collection of 100 signs that you have been playing too much Demise. Collected from the Bulletin Board.


You elaborate a list of the best 100 Signs You Have Been Playing Too Much Demise and consider to put up a website about the game.
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Sign
1 You can only walk North, South, East or West.
2 You can only walk in 5 step incriments.
3 You have never actually noticed that you have trouble walking as you never left your computer.
4 You get into arguements over which spell/race is the best.
5 You create a cult against one race.
6 Can't answer the post cause I'm playing too much Demise.
7 Can not drive more than 300 miles per day becuase I have to stop every hour and play Demise two.
8 You refer to your pets as companion 1 and 2.
9 When near large groups of people, you keep reaching for your Sash of Shades.
10 You wish you could Flamesheet traffic so you can get home faster to play Demise.
11 You decide your boss is more of a Slave Masher than a Slave Driver.
12 When you feel sick you ask the doctor for a potion of curing
13 When the elevator is broken you try to cast Magical Flight
14 Windows loads Demise automatically
15 You refer to your kitchen knife as a: BoS
16 You think of the IRS as bloodsuckers.
17 You are playing so much Demise you cant even get enough posts to be a master
18 You tell everyone that shrink-wrapped products require magical entry to open..
19 You calmly attempt to walk over a large construction hole, fall in, then amaze bystanders when you go on a prolonged rant about how you wouldn't have gotten hurt if the levitation code didn't have random failures.
20 Windows Theme is set to demise, and this was before the Demise Theme came out.
21 You have decorated the rooms of your house to match favourate dungeon rooms. (including blood splatter) to cut down on withdrawal symptoms.
22 You answer to your favourate characters name - rather than your christened name.
23 You talk more to people on this BB than you do to in RL.
24 You walk into your fireplace, thinking you had cast resit fire
25 You get beaten up, and try to heal up at the fountain in your yard.
26 You try to cast banish demon on your sister.
27 When walking down dark alleys, you put your mother in law at the front, because she is a troll!
28 Your girlfriend tries to break up with you, so you cast control on her.
29 You only go to the bathroom at a break in action, like fighting 40 slaves.
30 Once you get bored of playing you.... oh wait thats never happened.
31 Your F button on the keyboard breaks.
32 You get 50 messages on voice mail, everytime you go to check them.
33 You get thirsty for an Aard of Being.
34 Overslept from playing Demise all night and try to cast charm of concealment so no one sees you coming into work late.
35 You start kickin and whupin your nieghbor's gnome lawn ornaments.
36 You move the toilet in front of the computer, so when you go, you don't have to go anywhere.
37 You are one of the few that can say YOU killed a guardian serpent.
38 You swear that your teacher is as dumb as a Gnome.
39 You get tired of looking at the computer screen so you hook it up to your 50" big screen TV.
40 You set two computers up on your desk so you can form a party in Multiplay when no one else is on.
41 You purchase a copy of Demise for each person in your family.
42 You walk through a rotating door and get lost.
43 you can beat the Kutan multiple time before having to cast heal.
44 You can't imagine life with out DEMISE.
45 You ask your boss how you can be promoted to "Ku'tan".
46 You ask you employer at what level you get your company crest.
47 You wonder what item slot you left your wallet in.
48 You begin to try figuring out the stats of real people.
49 Prior to betting on a boxing match, you ask what each competitor's A/D is.
50 Problems are caused when you consider yourself a novice adventurer. You identify forks, spoons, and knives all as "utensil", and so cause havoc at the dinner table.
51 Unable to start your car, you wander around asking your children/parents/spouse where your Journeyman's Key went.
52 You develop an aversion to green lederhosen and/or red vests.
53 At places of religious gatherings, you search the corners for the remains of dead adventurers long past.
54 Every morning you go to work you hope you are not assigned a random quest.
55 At school, you ask to be excused from class because you are pinned and cannot learn any more for now.
56 You wonder if working nine jobs will make you highly skilled in all of them over time.
57 You are overheard trying to pick up a mate with the line, "Are those bracelets twisted? I ask because they certainly enhance your charisma!!"
58 You try to buy dungeonweed from a local dealer.
59 You note that the magi's guild crest bears a striking resemblence to your class ring and wonder if there's a connection.
60 You spend more time playing Demise than any other singular activity in a day.
61 When filling out a job application, under the question "Where do you se yourself in six months?" you calmly respond with "Level 101".
62 When applying for a new job, you ask what required quests are involved.
63 In an attempt to get more into the game, you replace your monitor with a 67 inch screen and play exclusively in full screen with the most expanded dungeon view. (an elaboration on snake's idea.)
64 You have actually seen a Tengu...
65 You find yourself playing of the stroke of midnight.
66 The boss asks why your report is late, and you introduce him to your four new friends. Who are giant slugs.
67 You've been given detention for telling the teacher your textbook was a Tome of Lies.
68 You've tried to cast Morkal Drain on a fellow worker.
69 You begin to wonder what guilds your friends are in.
70 You copy Demise to your laptop and play Demise even if you go out for lunch.
71 You ask restaurants for their wine list to see if they have an aard of being. But, really you wouldn't go to a restaurant because you are too busy playing Demise.
72 You collapse in front of your computer due to sleep deprivation.
73 You try to get some of Erik's +1 Crayons for your kid as a Christmas present.
74 You are fired from work becorse you never come.
75 You ask your neigbour if he/she warted to join you to go slave hunting.
76 If you ever sleep you dream about killing slaves or dwarves.
77 You don't eat becorse you don't think it's needed.
78 You allways walk around with a weapon.
79 When your wife takes off all her clothes and you say..."just one more level"
80 You name your firstborn DA.
81 Every day when you come home, you kick the door open and dodge to the side to avoid that nasty 'first strike' greeting from your wife and kids..
82 Whenever anyone says "Let's get stoned" you start muttering "damn nastrums".
83 You've sent more bug reports in the last day than e-mails in the last month.
84 You are happy when your car breaks down because that means you can stay home and play Demise. (actually happened)
85 You start mocking the slaves pitiful whimpering as you slice through them.
86 You dim all your lights because humans only have a sight of 3.
87 You are single-handedly responsible for a Starbucks opening a new store across from your house just so you can get enough caffine.
88 When you port your level 999 characters to the full verison you find out that the Ku'tan is a wimp.
89 You start drinking going to parties and ordering Morkal Vodka in hopes that everyone else will get drunk so that you can drive home safely.
90 You know what is meant by "rubber dagger".
91 You can name everything a footpad has been called.
92 You can make two 101 level characters in one week.
93 You start thinking how much your (insert sport name) game would improve if you could wear a Cloak of Night.
94 You start making Demise-related anagrams, such as "A Random Devil Lord" from "David Allen Mordor".
95 You will argue vehemently that there is no such thing as swimming.
96 You go to the local zoo and asks why there's no snooks.
97 You make enough characters to hit 999 in every guild.
98 You can make a convincing argument that Gnomes are useful (obviously, even I haven't played that much yet).
99 You can calculate guilds penalties concerning any guild combo in your head.
100 You compose a list of 100 signs that you've been playing Demise too long.
101 (Applicable only to certain people) More than half your phone bill is from connecting to the net to play Demise MP.
102 You play the game so much, you meet your soulmate while playing.
103 Every time you step on something around the house, you say 'kewl' or 'hmm'.
104 You look around for your breath counter when you take a bath, and then get out to make a bug report when you can not find it.
105 You can do a complete circuit of level 3 with your monitor off. You go to sleep and continue your complete circuit of level 3.
106 You tell your wife that you will be afk when you go to the bathroom.
107 You are able to accurately reproduce the sound of every monster from Lev 1-7 (ee-hee-hee-hee-hee,dubble dee, R-T-O, snook!)
108 You are considering purchasing a super new system just to play Demise.
109 Your pets are so used to the ambient sounds in town, that they no longer react with alarm to cat shrieks and dog barks.
110 You proselytise all your off-line friends (not that many since time playing Demise means you no longer make social contact) and the ppl you meet into the glory of Demise.
111 You have pre-ordered!
112 You become a racist and swear to exterminate a non-existent race (gnomes).
113 You get upset because of racism against non-existent races.
114 (applicable to younger Demise fans) As soon as you get 17 years old, you start looking for a POY.
115 (applicable to unhappily married Demise fans) You open every chest you can find, hoping to trigger a fright trap
116 You spray your fire extinguisher on the floor hoping to create an extinguish square.
117 You refer to politicians as "seers"
118 As soon as you see a short guy with a beard, you exclaim that you've found Dwarfland.
119 You are convinced that Highlander has a Sword of Decapitation.
120 If bitten by a poisonous snake, you pace hoping that it will go away soon.
121 When a person you know dies, you calmly announce that you are willing to pay for resurrection and hope that there are no complications.
122 You go to a foreign language teacher and ask to learn Tu'gak
123 Whenever you see a rich guy, you wonder whether he's a hacker
124 You are willing to purchase a game you've already played for years
125 You are willing to download a 100+ MB demo of a game you'll soon purchase anyway, on your slow 56K modem, even though you've been playing that game for years...
126 In your mental dictionary, penalties are not anymore a synonym for extreme excitement or disappointment (Football penalty kick), but a synonym for great versatility and power (the stronger and more versatile your char, the more the penalties)
127 When you arrive home at 2 in the morning for the fourth day in a row since D/L Sunday, and your husband and cats look at you as if *you* were a Vomitis Goo. (no comp at home)
128 Whenever you are injured, you try to cast "Wither Soul" on your garden's anthole.
129 When you get up at 6 am the very same morning so you can go to w**k to post your replies to *this* message and get in an hour of MP before breakfast.
130 When you call your Mom and start out the conversation, "Guess what I did in the Dungeon today?"
131 You can't find "Warriors Guild" in the phone book.
132 You start renaming your wine to: Aard of Being. (Chateu de Morash)
133 You get irritated when the dictionary is wrong, because it's your seer.
134 You've just completed the level 100 quest from the "Work Guild", killing your boss and becoming the guildmaster of the "Work Guild".
135 You call your Father "Goblin Lord".
136 When you're mother asks you something, you say: "OK! that's it, I'm off to kill the Dwarven Lord"
137 You refer to your house as "Dwarven mines".
138 Your computer is by your bed.
139 You start kicking the cat to gain experience points.
140 When in a meeting, you try throwing your voice and say "Please Help Us!" in your best Slave impersonation.
141 You sit at your desk all day and design, and re-design, the ultimate Demise keyboard.
142 You still call it a Lynch Demon!
143 You go spelunking at a local cave and file a bug report when you don't meet any Scavies near the entrance.
144 You begin making real-life ways to cast Demise spells. (eg. a can of hairspray and a lighter for Flame)
145 You're half-way to work on a winter day when you suddenly turn around a drive home because you forgot to get Resist Cold from the Seer.
146 When your attempts to cast Banish Devil on your inlaws fail, you go find a store with a glowing ball inside and sit in front of it for a few hours to recharge your spell points.
147 At work, on your way to the rest room, you keep looking for the "J" key, to see if She will join you.
148 At work, you keep looking for the doors to the dungeon, just so that you can get out.
149 You swear that the parking garage are really dwarven mines.
150 ... Is that a picture of DA?? ...
151 While on the phone, talking to ANYONE, your fingers twitch, trying to type in the answers.
152 You don't dare use the stairwells, because your not sure if you can survive on a lower floor.
153 You try your "magical flight" spell, only because you know that a laptop WILL work in the hospital.
154 Alt-Tab is now a survival response to anyone comming to your office.
155 You wonder if those short people that live at your house are Goblies, until you realize they are YOUR kids.
156 You've been waiting close to three years for the game. You pre-order 30 days before a POSSIBLE ship date and do not find it strange that the cheapest shipping option is 2nd day air... And you consider the overnight option.
157 You actually know what monsters make the listed sounds.
158 You know what a snook used to be a rat-like creature, is now a bear-like creature and is really a fish.
159 You find yourself playing at the stroke of the millennium
160 You are in the back of a large department store and you start wondering if there is a handy teleporter that will take you to the checkouts?
161 You are going up to the 7th level of an office block to deliver a parcel and you start wondering if you will run into any new monsters today!
162 You walk around the corner at home and see your mother-in-law and instantly try to cast Drain-Life on her!
163 Real life? What's real life?
164 It's your birthday and your're at home playing Demise
165 You walk through doors slowly...
166 ...and you shut them behind you
167 You have a Demise website with over 750 files and 3500 hyperlinks.
168 It's still growing
169 You loathe the person who has a website larger then yours.
170 You get hooked on the 5 and 10 lvl versons years b4 the 30 lvl verson is out.
171 You actually understand the signs you've just read!
172 You're playing Demise on Christmas Eve!
173 You mark the days between the day you pre-ordered Demise and the day its on your door step on your computer room wall like your in a jail cell
174 You are playing mp on christmas day...
175 Your printer has smoke pouring out of it because you've printed the *entire* online helplesson numerous times...
176 Your walls are now covered with statistic's analyzing the best possible MP charicters and SP parties...
177 You return from your lunch break at work late because you were determined not to come back until you were 'pinned'...
178 No-Doz and Vivarin packages are suspiciously hidden beneath your computer desk...
179 You look in the mirror and immediatly go to the bulletin board requesting a Potion of Youth....
180 You go to the shop of a local locksmith hoping to be able to practice your theiving skills....
181 You are caught singing to the tune of Prince's "1999" the words... "...so tonight we're gonna game like it is version nine ninty-two" in honor of v.992, the most loved beta the world has ever seen.
182 You are convinced your significant other is not a compatable alignment...
183 You wake up in a cold sweat from a dream where you are caught in a room full of Gurks without a BoS...
184 You pause before opening **any** container, including the medicine cabinet in the bathroom, to examine it for possible traps...
185 You sit in the Tavern talking bullshit stories about things you did (and didn't) do in the dungeon that day...
186 You are convinced your cousin is a gnome, and pray to the gods that he grows out of it...
187 You have been signing your checks with your charicter's online name, not realizing that you ever had any other name before that...
188 You wonder if Santa brought you the Vorpal Blade you've been dreaming about!!!
189 You look around just long enough to realize it's Christmas Eve before deciding to gain just *one* more level (yea right) before calling it a night...
190 You run into all the walls of your office hoping to find a "secret door" in which to play DEMISE
191 You go to the local shop to see if they have any potions of intelligence cos you just can't seem to think straight.....
192 You dread the day when you fall asleep and hit the ALT-K keys....... (commit suicide)
193 You wake up in the emergency room, after bolting the coffee, your kind and careing spouce has given you, as you have mistaken it for a aard of being. (( and she being the wonder that she is, lol, is getting her char up a few, while u recover in peace...(:P))
194 You have a catheter inserted so youcan go bathroom and not stop playing Demise!!!
195 Whenever you run into a wall you've gotta say ow
196 You stay awake two days playing demise - like I did from christmas eve to christmas day...
197 Your phone keeps ringing because you think you have just cast restrain on the call...
198 When at the beach you keep an eye out for fake floors...
199 You have played Demise so much the only words you remember are: ow! and hmm!/cool!...
200 When your kids start asking you questions, all you can hear is "help me/please save us"
201 You think everyone hates you because you have evil alignment...
202 In the summer time you think of casting cold blast to cool off...
203 While watching the croc hunter, you see crocs and name them night dragons...
204 You take Outer Circle's word for it that we are indeed up to #204, because playing MP without pvp has made you very trusting.
205 You turn to your (imaginary) significant other and announce: 'A potion of Pepsi-Max is required by Patra of the Barbarian's Guild for addition to a special collection, reward will be 1 ball and chain.
206 Your name is Jon_J
207 You refer to DA as god
208 You don't have enough time to post on the boards
209 Nothing is on you harddrive except for Windows and Demise
210 You wonder why the rest of the world isn't like a dungeon
211 You no longer like flesh and blood women but lust over the female skins of character
212 What's the millenium? No big deal when you have Demise
213 You start asking DA for the next patch to test instead of sleeping
214 You start saying cool when you discover soemthign new at home
215 Wish demise was on another game console
216 Play in your sleep.
217 Dream about demise
218 Wonder why there isn't a video about demise yet
219 Agonize what race you really are
220 When you fear for your life because you stopped playing
221 When you no longer have a longing for food
222 Pre ordering the full
223 Pre ordering all the copies in stock
224 Pre ordering Demise 2
225 Wonder what spell you should use on stupid people
226 Wishing you can cast terminate existance on your boss
227 Having dreams that you are runnign around in a dungeon
228 Contemplating what a goblie actually is
229 Do a term paper on the aspects of demise and strategies
230 Making a guide
231 Wondering how come you can't survive from a beating from a gnome
232 You call your fellow Demizans family
233 You go round mapping the whole of town for later refrence
234 To fall asleep you play through a trip into the dungeon in your head.
235 The trip is complete with monsters, sounds and eye-candy.
236 After falling asleep you continue playing in your head.
237 You still read every update to this post.
238 Playing a gnome
239 When you enter a room filled with people you've never met,they immidiately start accusing you of picking a fight out of no reason.They just dont get it.
240 When out with your friend and you meet a really pretty girl/boy,you irrevently grin on your friends attempts to start a conversation and hit the "J" key
241 Your neighbour has average of 40 hitpoints and only breathes air
242 When you get a good book for christmas, you return it and ask for a potion instead
243 You refer to your kids as "legacy characters"
244 When visiting your mother in law,you´re certain you are standing on a stud square
245 You start to wonder when your mother will ask you to bring the gloves of the blackguard to her instead of something simple, like the laundry.
246 Sitting in the bathtub, you begin to wonder exactly how long you can stay underwater, since you're not a yeti... *glug glug glug*
247 After you believe you are sufficiently dead, you look around and wonder which server you should join to ask for a rescue.
248 Realizing you can't ask anyone to save you, you wait, and wait, and wait...
249 You emty your pockets, and realize you aren't really dead after all, since your mother was kind enough to _pay_ your way out of the bathtub.
250 You are convinced that the Philosophy books at your University are Tomes of Lies, and wish you could find some place to get them fully identified.
251 You wish you could buy boots of lethargy for your mother-in-law
252 You call your bank manager ku-tan when you ask for a loan.
253 You dream that all levels below level 15 are flooded with water, then you realise that you've left the bath tap running.
254 You ask your wife for a vorpal blade to cut the potatoes.
256 You get to level 2 and survive as a gnome, but then you wake up.
257 You refuse to let a tengu join you when you have been pinned on a return tengu quest for 3 days
258 You keep walking into walls at home hoping to find a secret room...
259 You have a bumpersticker that reads: I brake for DA
260 You have a second bumpersticker that reads: I also break for Regis
261 You read 261 posts about playing too much demise.
262 Since you have played every race expept gnomes and ogres, you start to make a gnome character... but then you realize what your doing and stop.
263 After driving through bumper-to-bumper traffic, you vow to be an explorer in your next life (to get magical flight)
264 The price of gold has risen worldwide the past 4-5 years...coincidence or Demisers?
265 Snakes no longer scare you.
266 When your exterminator tells you he's going to poison the ants in your home and you try to explain how ants are immune...
267 You are driving to work this morning and see a specialty tag on a persons car that begins with SPD and you actually wonder if the person plays SP Demise.
268 ...your bank manager says to you 'See you on level 100.
269 You start to dream that ku-tan is a GNOME! Who's real name is ....
270 You've no idea it's the dawn of a new millennium.
271 You play DEMISE when everybody else is partying for the new millenium
272 only applies to some ppl)You try to use dust of locating to find your wife/girlfriend who you think is having an affair
273 You wish you had established mystical portal at home so you could get home quicker
274 You're promoted to supervisor and you use the tome of binding on everyone you supervise
275 You hope your neighbours dog breaks a level of binding.
276 You haven´t eaten anything other than pizza the last few months
277 (True story) You dream that the Questmaster assigns you a quest to return with one....Questmaster.
278 Making a bet with a friend (whoops, you don't have friends, ok a fellow MP player) that you could do a dungeon run to any level in the beta blindfolded, using method of elimination on rotators (e.g. the one on level 2, just north of the stairs to 3, if you walked thru a door you went south/east, go left if you hit wall it was south, else east. Not going thru a door would be west/north, go left, if you hit a wall was west, else north), and of course you'd recognize where you were after hitting random teleporters.
279 Being able to write the above example without actually checking
280 Winning the bet
281 Winning the bet going through Spinnerville.
282 Knowing where Spinnerville is as well as all of the other locations in the game.
283 Considering asking DA if I should compile these reasons into a list to be included in the manual, as a warning to it's addictiveness.
284 You read the whole entire list of "100 signs you have been playing too much Demise" and laugh like crazy at every one, because you know what they all mean.
285 You read the whole entire list of "100 signs you have been playing too much Demise" and don't laugh at any of them because:
a. They all apply to you.
b. You don't think they're funny.
c. You haven't been playing too much Demise (or at least you think that)
286 YYour dreams of Demise (this can't be stressed enough, i DO dream about Demise) are so real, when you turn it on again you get upset because you lost all those levels and experience you remembered getting.
287 You spend almost as much time tweaking your computer to make it run demise faster as you do playing demise.
288 "Gnome" has taken the place of all of your cut-downs.
289 You take a vacation to someplace vacated (at least in your opinion, since you can't play Demise) and you start suffering from Demise withdrawal.
290 You aren't medicated, but you need to be (maybe a Demise-patch?)
291 You are medicated, and you need a stronger dose.
292 You can't go for 5 hours without playing Demise or you will start suffering from epileptic seizures.
293 You live in Tallahassee and you miss most of the FSU-Virginia Tech game because you are playing Demise (another of the many sad-but-trues).
294 You know which of the +285 signs are repeats but you don't care and laugh all over again. (True...)
295 You feel relieved to see you're NOT the only one making a custom system specifically to play Demise. (Also true)
295 You have your monitor mounted on an arm over your recliner chair that you get what little sleep you get in
296 You try to avoid steppin on sewer lids other metal trapdoors on the sidewalk as you have a fear of falling in the pits.
297 You legally changed your name to your Demise Char's name.
298 You spend more time at work looking at the Demise BB than you actually work.
299 You know there's a wall in front of you, but you headbutt it anyway in hopes of finding the secret room behind.
300 Repeat #293 again, and again, and again...
301 You map places you visited (home/workplace/streets, etc.) just like the Demise automap.
302 You have been playin Demise for days, and smell like Bill Gate.
303 You have a re-ocurring nightmare about the X-mas Troll in the red, too frinkin small to cover anything g-string!
304 You pictured how you would look in the exact equipments you are using in the game.
305 You are more excited about getting the next demo patch than getting you next paycheck.
306 You buy a new PC and configure it as part of a LAN so that you can play MP at home with real people!!! (true!!!)
307 You buy your first ever PC (having vowed never to buy one) to stop the arguement as to who's turn it is on Mordor (going back a bit admittedly but sure it would be true if didn't already ahave PC!!
308 When looking at specs of laptops, only interested in the ones capable of playing Demise - even though these add $600+ to price of laptop!!!!
309 You have pictures of Gnomes all over your cubical being killed.
310 You have placed a picture of a Gnome on your dart board and have several knifes and axes driven deep in the board.
311 You walk into a the children's section of a department store and ask where the Tickle Me Snooks are.
312 If you did find an editor, you wouldn't see the point of it, as you intend to make your character level 999 in every guild with all the best stuff anyway, and you wouldn't want to spoil the fun of building the char.
313 Believing that new reasons will continue will show up so this thread will never die
314 Your significant other has ever complained about the amount of hard drive space taken up by all the various mordor/Iw/Demise versions you still play.....
315 You call every major department store, toy store, retail outlet, and check every internet site (including Amazon and E-Bay) in search of a Tickle-Me-Snook.
316 A beloved companion dies, and you hold a truly somber funeral service for it.
317 You dream about being back in high school taking a sorcery class. (this dream was inaccurate however, because the instructor was going to conjure a tengu)
318 You vote for Demise on the World Charts. Religiously. On the same day every week.
319 You post the 100th post in this topic because it's a post about 100 reasons.
320 You need to be the 101st poster on this list in honor of the guild graduation ceremonies.
321 You bookmark http://www.artifact-entertainment.com/demise/ instead of http://www.artifact-entertainment.com/demise/news.shtml because you want the counter to get more hits.
322 You edit a post 3 times to make sure the hyperlinks and reason numbers are correct.
323 You leave your character running in the dungeon's entrance hall because the sound of the crickets helps you sleep.
324 You play in Software Rendering, which doesn't have sound because you don't want to take the time to DownLoad the DirectX upgrade needed for 3D. (I finally got it)
325 You keep a coffee maker next to your computer for all those long nights spent hitting the dungeon.
326 You elaborate a list of the best 100 Signs You Have Been Playing Too Much Demise and consider to put up a website about the game.


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