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THOUGHTS ON DATING This is pretty heavy and revealing stuff, and I hope it doesn't turn you off too much. If it does, then just think about all the time we've saved!
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| 1. Cyber dating:
This has to be the most efficient and interesting method ever invented for meeting people.
Unfortunately, even after e-mails and pictures have been exchanged and phone calls made, that all elusive "chemistry" is still hard to access from afar. Nonetheless, you have to start somewhere. It's kind of ironic, but the more burned-out I get on "dating," the more I feel compelled to do it, so I won't have to do it.
And the more I do it, the more burned-out I get. Kind of a Catch 22, if you know what I mean.
Not that anyone cares, but my last really good, loving, blah, blah, blah, relationship, which lasted for nearly two years, ended in early June, 1998. Such relationships are very rare and sorely missed. Of course, there's a long story associated with it that I won't go into. (Thank goodness, huh?) I've had a couple of other decent relationships since then, and becoming a sensuous hermit and taking up celibacy are definitely not on my to-do list. Maybe it's an age thing, and with thanks to the Internet, the availability of dates (and sex, for that matter) has never been more plentiful. (Didn't think I'd ever live long enough to be able to say that!) However, I'd really like something much more substantial at this point. What do I want? Keep reading. 2. Seeking: I'd love to find find someone to share leisure interests, time, and self, and who refuses to be too much of a "grownup." She should also be a non-smoker and in at least some kind of decent shape. CUTE beats beautiful, but overweight is a definite no-no. Want to know a secret? (I'll tell ya anyway.) I'm a real sucker for cute, short, sassy or pixie hair styles. (I also have nothing against Barbie, although so many women seem to despise her.) Sexy is good - REAL GOOD! It also wouldn't hurt if you had a good sense of humor and were kind to stuffed animals. I hate to over emphasize the physical, but I've learned it's a waste to pursue a relationship if chemistry (physical attraction) is lacking. Then again, it's also pretty much a lost cause (though fun) if that's all there is. Like most, I'm searching for the 3-C's: chemistry, companionship, and compatibility. Not easy to find, is it? Opposites really do attract, but I believe that having common interests and similar attitudes regarding life, religion, sex, politics, money, family, etc. will make any relationship a whole lot more enjoyable and sustainable. I'm looking for a friend, a playmate, a soulmate (the whole enchilada), all in the same woman. 3. First date: It sure would be great to just plain skip the first date and move onto the second. Since it's a rare (but terrific) occasion when that works, then a "get acquainted meeting," not a "date," will usually have to suffice. A nice, dimly lit, but not too sleazy or noisy bar is a good place to meet, talk, and get acquainted. Heck, I'll even meet for a cup of coffee, if that's what it takes. When the dust has settled, the particular surroundings aren't all that important. I've always cared a whole lot more about who I'm with, then where I am or what I'm doing. On second thought, let's not "do" the coffee thing. Meet ya for a beer? I
know you're "supposed" to take the time to get to know one another
before …. well, "before!" However,
after strolling down memory lane, it's clear that my most meaningful and
memorable relationships have always started with mutual, instant, like-a-lot within
the first few minutes - actually, the first few seconds!
Like I said, it's all too rare and probably unrealistic to
expect instant chemistry – but that's been
my experience. 4. Sex: Not at all sure if I should mention sex, but why not? If the topic really turns you off, then we wouldn't have a snowball's chance in hell of getting along anyway! For whatever reason, my sex drive seems to be at an all time high. (And it was already too damn high for my own good to begin with! Gee, I wonder when it's supposed to taper off, already.) In a nutshell, I like sex and intimacy a lot and hope you do too. That shouldn't necessarily imply that I'm promiscuous - just that I'm a very very long way from not caring! And for whatever it may be worth, I'm totally straight. However, if you happen to be bi or bi-curious, I won't hold it against you! :) Please don't get the impression that sex is all I'm seeking - it definitely isn't! I could easily go on and on, but I need to keep this site PG-rated in case my kid looks it up. And to quote Forest Gump, "That's all I have to say about that!" |
5.
Irritations: I don't really think the list is all that long, but I really get annoyed when someone is late without any apology or excuse.
Smoking sucks! (I've dated "considerate smokers" in the past, but it's difficult to do on a long term
basis.) Dishonesty is a no-no, and I expect one to keep promises, as do I.
Can't say that I care a lot for self-righteous hypocrites either. (Yeah, the two usually go together, don't they?) I also don't have much use for bigots, snobs, and dislike hearing the English language being totally butchered. (I guess that kind of eliminates red-necks and trailer trash, but I hate to sound bigoted or stuck-up!)
6. Cyber annoyances: Don't you just HATE IT WHEN SOMEONE USES ALL CAPITAL LETTERS? It's like screaming! I also don't understand why someone would write only a terse sentence or two in their ad and then gripe about how time consuming and difficult it was to create. It's even worse to receive a reply to one of my ads that doesn't contain a name, location, age, physical description, or much else. Gosh, I thought the whole point of this exercise was to find a new friend, potential lover, or significant other. What's the problem? One more gripe, while I'm on a roll: Even though I can semi appreciate why someone might be hesitant in posting a photo, there aren't too many excuses for not being able to e-mail one after "connecting." It's always good to see what the person on the other end looks like, and even a lousy picture is better than no picture at all. Besides, you've seen mine! Scanners are cheaper than dirt these days, but in any case, Kinko's can always scan a photo onto a floppy for ya. Hell, even if you're using WEB TV or equivalent, there are still ways to hide a picture on the Net. 7. The last word: I really wonder sometimes why I'm still looking for that special someone. Guess I've made a lot of bad choices and have had more than my share of bad luck. Maybe I've just been STUPID! In any case, though I've never been accused of being a terminal optimist, I'm sure that Ms Right is out there somewhere. However, at this point, I'm no longer overly optimistic that we'll find each other. I'm fortunate in knowing who I am and what I seek in a woman. Most unfortunately, that doesn't seem to help in finding her, but at least it enhances the process of elimination. Sorry, I'm probably getting too philosophical. I wish I knew a better way to go about this, so if you have any suggestions, please feel free to share. Personally, I think I'm one hell of a nice guy, am practically perfect in every way, and modest, too! Nonetheless, I realize that I'm not for everyone, but who is? It's amazing how many people out there are in the same boat and saying the same things. My sense of humor, warped as it may be, is still very much intact. However, since it's on the dry side, slightly wacky, and often sarcastic, it's sometimes confused with something else. I'm very persistent, so of course, I'm going to keep looking. That, and trying to improve myself, is all I can do. I've become a whole lot more selective about those I meet and continue to see; therefore, I'm spending a lot more "stay at home alone time" surfing the Internet. I think "luck" plays a big part in this too, as with most things.
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Isn't technology wonderful? Maybe I should call this Turtleman's Rambling or Bitch Page.
HOME DETAILS INTERESTS DATING PICTURES I PICTURES II CONTACT ME LINKS