Here's just a few of my original poems, straight from my heart.
THE HOUSE OF SADNESS
Written 25 Feb. 02
Background: I didn't really run, but I took a walk to get away for awhile.
Yesterday I ran
I ran away from the house of Sadness
The house where depresion reigns
And the floor is stained with tears
Where crying is the only sound heard
And even the light is dark
Yesterday I ran
To no known destination
As the gray skey hung above me
And as the wind blew through my hair
Cars passed, children laughed
But still I ran
Away from the house of sadness
Yesterday I ran
Wishing an inmpossible wish
I ran
Wishing it would mysteriously come true
Wishing you would appear out of nowhere
And you would take me away
Away from the house of sadness
PALLOR
Written 13 March 02
Background: I've always been teased for peing so white, so I wrote about it.
If white is pure, then I must be immaculate
It's the color beyond cleanliness
It's the color of nothing
It's the color beyond innocence
It's the color of anemia
It's the color beyond flawlessness
It's the color of emptiness
It's the color beyond spotlessness
It's the color of death.
Pallor--It's my color.
The pallor of me shines for the world to see
Whether you like it or not
Look upon me, but cover your eyes
Before you go blind
Pallor--That's me
Pallor chases me everywhere
And there's nothing you can do about it
Lily-white and anemic
Pallor--It's a part of me.
PLUMMET
Written May 02 for M.O.
Background: I gave the original copy to the person I wrote this about, so all the words might not be here. I think the words tell all.
You you you
This song is for you
My lover, my friend
My downfall in the end
You waltzed into my life
And cut open my heart with a knife
And poured in your soul
To fill the bloody hole
And in the moment I gave it all away
You held me close and told me it would be okay
You you you
This song is for you
For every smile, for every tear
For every hope, for every fear
You made it wrong, you made it right
The curtain is falling, I bid you goodnight
ORION
Written 16 Jan. 02 For J.N.
Background: Originally named "Joshie," I wrote this after trying to call Josh on his birthday only to find out he was no longer there. So it made me wonder a lot so I wrote the questions down.
Where are you now?
Where did you go?
It's me, the one you used to love
So how are you now?
Do you still think of me?
I can't help but wonder what happened to you
You can't help but think of me
Even though you pretend not to care
So where are you now?
Will you dream of me
When you fall asleep at the wrong time?
What's new in your life?
Don't you dare say 'Nothing'
I've only heard some of your life
You can't help but think of me
Even though you pretend not to care
Boys will come and go for me
But I will keep you in mind through eternity
You were mine
All for me
Forever and always
Don't forget what we shared
You and me
Together in the stars
Boys will come and go for me
But I will keep you in mind through eternity
Our souls are intertwined in the stars
Don't you dare forget that.
WEAK
Written 5 May 02
Background: I wrote this the day after I...um, well you know for the first time. Simply put.
What have we done?
What have we done?
After searching for so long
You were the one
Drowning in ecstacy, high on lust
Is this really happening?
You and me, we are...
Weak, weak
No self-control
In this place, all hope is lost
I stand and stare you down
You are my downfall
I tremble as I search for the solution
No turning back now
You and me, we are...
Weak, weak
No self-control
In this place, all hope is lost
Weak, weak
We are weak
This is it
Giving in was never so easy
I gave it up for you
I can feel it in my soul
My fortress falling down
This is our little secret
Your and mine forever
Weak, weak
No self-control
In this place, all hope is lost
Weak, weak
We are weak
This is it
Giving in was never so easy.
BLUSH
Written 2.15.02 For P.P.
Background: I wrote this after spending some time with an ex of mine while we were chilling in his best friend's bedroom. I had this strange drunken feeling while we were chilling.
I'm so drunk
But I didn't drink a drop
I'm drunk on you
Intoxicated in ecstacy
I look up at the spinning ceiling
I'm so drunk
Drunk on you
And I'm driving home tonite
In this forbidden place
Is where we are (were we belong)
You have me in this state of mind (wasted and smashed)
And I'm driving home tonite
Up here, down there
Where the hell am I?
Don't let me sleep
I don't like hangovers
Get me sober somehow
Get me home tonite
In this forbidden place
Is where we are (where we belong)
You have me in this state of mind (wasted and smashed)
And I'm driving home tonite
Hold me down
Tie me up
Don't let me go yet
I'm still drunk on you...
The night has come
I must go
But I'm still so drunk
But I don't care
I'm driving home tonite
In this forbidden place
Drunk on you
GO
Roll down the windows
Faster, faster
Where do you want to go?
Faster, faster
Hey, you seemed surprised
Didn't you know?
Faster, faster
Is where we are (where we belong)
You have me in this state of mind
I'm drunk on you
Your best friend's girl is drunk on you
And driving home tonite
Written 5.13.02 For M.O.
Background: It's about trying to figure out what to do after prom last year. I made this one into a song.
Crank up the radio
I'm in control tonite
Your mistress
Sitting behind the wheel
Let's go somewhere
Headed for our destination
This is for real
I can't turn around
Let's ride it out, baby
You don't know, well I do
It's a very special place
Where we can get lost in each other
Forget about everthing else
Let's go there
Headed for our destination
This is for real
I can't turn around
Let's ride it out, baby
You knew what was gonna happen
Didn't you?
Don't tell me "No"
Don't tell me "No"
Didn't you know?
Didn't you know?
Headed for our destination
This is for real
I can't turn around
Let's ride it out
Let's ride it out, baby