Note-this interview only really makes sense if you’ve completed final fantasy 10 and Gitarooman.
Me: so how do you think the final fantasy 10 project worked out on a whole, Yuna?
Yuna: ohhh, don’t remind me please! It makes me think of Tidus. Wahhhhhh! Wwaaahhhhhhh!
Me: hmmm… I see your appearance has, erm, changed a bit since Final Fantasy 10.
Yuna: but I only put on 250pounds! It was those wild party after I defeated Sin!
Me: Oh.
Yuna: they lasted two years!
Me: do you know how boring your being with all this moaning. I think we should invite our special guest in!
Tidus: Hi.
Yuna: but… but… I thought you were a dream!
Tidus: I am, but I’ve dreamed that I could dream myself back. And here I am!
Me: Exactly, and after that we dragged him into this studio.
Tidus: Oh my God, Yuna, you’ve eaten one hamburger too many!
Yuna : wahhhhh! Wwaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!
Tidus: so, erm, what’s Lulu doing now?
Me this.
Tidus: Whoa, baby! Can we go see her now!
Yuna: What about Me! And did you know that Lulu’s already married!
Tidus: Wha…? To who? Wakka?
Yuna: no, sniff, she married Kimahri.
Tidus: so what happened to Wakka?
Me: well you see…
Yuna: Wakka and Lulu were married!
Me: ehem! But Lulu found out that Wakka had an affair with Dona’s guardian Barthello.
Tidus: I knew Wakka was gay!
Me: Anyway Lulu turned Wakka into a blitzball.
Tidus: serves him right!
Me: c’mon lets go see Lulu.
Me: Hey Lulu, why do you need a dressing room if you are a page three girl, you have no clothes!
Tidus be right back.
Lulu: …
Tidus: so Lulu, I heard you got married to Kimahri, were is he at the moment?
Lulu: Kimahri died. He had chicken pops.
Tidus: Yes!
Tidus: you ready for some hot sex?
Lulu: Sure!
MeI think I’ll go and talk to Wakka.
Me: so, Wakka, how is it being a blitzball?
Wakka the blitzball: oh, ya s’ok man. ‘Cept I got no balls, ya?
Me: duh, so what exactly did you do to make Lulu turn you into a blitzball!?
Wakka the blitzball: well…y’know…I just think men are ”better” to get along with.
Me: oh God…
Wakka the blitzball: and Lulu found out of my affair with Barthello but never found out about the rest, ya?
Me: “the rest”
Wakka the blitzball: y’know, Seymour, O’aka, Chappu, Jecht and Kimahri. But, ya, I could never get Tidus.
Me: you truly sick, sick bastard.
Wakka the blitzball: …
Me: someone get this guy, errr no, blitzball executed!
Wakka the blitzball: bliztballs have feelings too.
Tidus: whoa, you really know how to do it.
Lulu: ha-hah
Me: erm, hi guys theses going to be an execution soon. If you want to get dressed and come then that’s…wait, am I disturbing you?
Puma: no, but you’re disturbing us!
Tidus: who are you guys anyway?
Puma: tell ‘em your name U-1
U-1: Ok, I’m U-1.
Wakka the blitzball: hey man, red dude, ya, who are you?
Panpeus: I’m Panpeus and I’m gonna chop you in half! Heh heh heh heeeehhh!
Auron: and I’ll chop you into quarters! Farewell!
Half Tidus: so ready for some more sex Lulu?
Half Lulu: yeah, lets leave this Gitaroo man, he’s just a pathetic looser.
Half U-1: aaarrrggggghhhhh………. BANG!
Half U-1: lets go Lulu!
Me: hey! Wakka! Now you don’t need to be executed you’re already chopped in half!
Auron: I’m gonna chop you into quarters, remember.
Quarter Wakka the blitzball: that hurts, ya!
Auron: hmph…
Quarter Wakka the blitzball: hey, Tidus y’know what we should do now, ya?
Half Tidus: um no, not really.
Quarter Wakka the blitzball: have sex!
Half Tidus: oh get off it, you’re a blitzball and besides, you have no balls. I’m outta here!
Me: so Tidus what are your plans now that you’ve been chopped in half
Half Tidus: I don’t know…hey wait! I’m a dream so I can dream to dream my legs back.
Me: oh great.
Rikku: yeah, yeeaahhhhh, yyeeeaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!! It’s my 17th birthday today!
Me: so why aren’t you at home celebrating with your dad and your brother?
Tidus: yeah…
Rikku: well you see my farther chucked me off the airship when I found him getting off with O’aka. When I landed I died, y’know!
Tidus: O’aka has done it with everyone, eh? He tried to take my clothes when I first met him.
Me: hmmm…so why are you here Rikku?
Rikku: well you see now they got rid of all the summoners there’s no one to send me to the farplane!
Tidus: but seriously, that O’aka thing really creeps me out!
O’aka: Rikku, I’ll give you a birthday preasant you’ll never forget!
Me: ok, this is getting weird! I’m outta here!
Me: well this is Laura, who is now going to leave the final fantasy 10 characters to mess with their own affairs…I should probably go do something now…
