A Letter To A Child

Dear Child, As I sit in the dark feeling your pain, every tear replays like a movie, in slow motion. I cannot help but feel responsible, I must’ve failed you in some way...I didn’t protect you enough, didn’t teach you enough. I am not sure how or when I went wrong, I tried to give all the love in me, and yet it isn’t enough. Still you must struggle with a life that may be hard and uncaring at times. Please remember as you do so, that the gift of love I gave you was unconditional. It was a gift I would never take back, never dream of withdrawing from you. Even as you turn against me, as all children do at some stage in their lives, my love will endure, like wind through the trees it cannot be stopped. There will always be trials, failures, victories and celebrations throughout your life; I cannot shield you from the bad, or the good would be erased also. My only wish is that, in some way, I will be a part of it all, even if it’s just in a memory that makes you smile, or even cry. All memories cannot be happy ones. These are the things that make us strong. Please know I am always with you, no matter where you are or what you are doing. It is enough to know that you are strong and will be capable of dealing with it all. I will always be your mother; you will always be my dearest child. Use that love and strength to fortify you throughout your life. I will be there forever and always. You are part of me, and I am part of you. Learn from my mistakes, make mistakes of your own; learn from those, also. No, I cannot shield you, although I would try. I may fail you in some way, but please do not fail yourself. I will always be here for you to lean on, although there may be times when I am forced to say, “I’m sorry dearest one, I must let you go this road alone.” Know that those words will tear at my heart. I pray that I have instilled all the strength and love in you to pull you through. Go with God, little one, and know that you are loved.~~~Jen Willis~~~November 9, 2001