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HoMe
College Stuff
Shoutouts
Fun
Quotes
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- There's reusable bacon grease in a maxwell house can, in the center of
the burners, on your stove
- The batteries in your remote control are held in place with a piece of
tape
- Something smells spoiled in the refrigerator, and all you do is change
the box of Arm & Hammer baking soda
- Your drinking glasses used to be jelly jars
- Your furniture is covered in plastic
- You run to get your pots when it rains
- The roaches in your house only come out when company comes over
- . You refer to the refrigerator as an icebox
- The back of your toilet seat is always off
- You use vaseline for shoe polish
- You don't think your clean unless there's visably baby powder on your
neck and chest
- The heels of your feet look like you have been kicking flour
- You wear any of the following: Brute, Hai Karate, Jean Nate, Old Spice,
Chloe, English Leather, or Charlie
- You use black eye liner to line your lips
- You put old batteries in the freezer to re-charge them
- You wear your shower cap everywhere, but the shower
- You dry clean your washable clothing (E.G. jeans, t-shirts, baseball
jersey ETC.)
- You've never been to the dentist
- You clean your teeth with a matchbook or a business card
- You clean your ears with a bobby pin, key, or pen cap
- You wear your clothes with a tag on them
- The only art you own is on your finger nails
- You are under thirteen and have extensions
- You never learned to swim because you couldn't get your hair wet
- Your child thinks his real name is "Lil Man"
- You have trouble spelling your children's names, and you named them
- You page yourself
- You wear house shoes outside the house
- You add "ED" or "T" to the end of a word that already has it in it
- You pronounce words like this: strimps(shrimps), pacific(specific),
skreet(street), axe(ask), lookded(looked), member(remember),
spisketti(spaghetti), wayment(wait a minute)
- You buy your stockings the same place you buy your groceries
- You wear a watch the you know doesn't work
- You got angry when the government stopped the cheese program
- Every time you have macaroni and cheese, you feel the need to comment on
how nothing makes it better than "The Gobment Cheese"
- You have a crack on your windshield and you never bothered to fix it
- You drive around in the donut(manufacturer's issues spare tire), months
after the flat happened
- The announcements at your church are longer than the sermon
- There are more guest at the reception than the wedding
- The majority of the flowers at the burial site are plastic, and/or taken
back the following day
- You ever took a bus to a club
- You ask perfect strangers to take a picture with you, then you tell all
your your friends that this is someone you actually dated
- You've won a grammy for your B*tch and hoe record, and you start your
acceptance speech by saying, "I like to thank GOD..........", go figure
- Your child drops his pacifier and you sanitize it by sucking on it
- Your children don't know the words to "Miss Mary Mack", yet they know
the words to a song like "No Pigeons"
- You ever ran outside, barefoot at nearly twelve midnight
- If you leave a social gathering with a plate
- You think "Red" is a Kool-Ade flavor
- You bring a crying ass four year old to a rated R movie and all you end
up doing is yelling at the kid saying "Shut Up!", "Sit Down", "I'm a smack
you"
- You can't hold a glass because of the length of your nails
- The gold teeth in your mouth spell words
- You don't have your own place, or a job, yet your child/children has a
Moschino Leather Jacket, Nautica down jacket, Timberland boots, Air Jordan
sneakers, Tommy Hilfiger Jeans, Fubu Hoodie, and a Nike running suit
- You have gold lipstick to match your gold shoes
- You constantly press *69, and you still ask if the person just called,
go figure
- Your child can't speak, but can do the "Tootsie Roll"
- Your grandmother is under 40
- The Rims on your car cost more than the car it self
- You smell up a crowded train/bus eating some smelly ass chicken wings
and fries smothered in ketchup that you got from a Chinese restaurant
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