Okay, so I'm just a bit bitter and jaded. What is up with the gay men in Atlanta? Can anyone tell me? Did I miss the memo? God, I hope not!!
So, before you go thinking that I'm like Miss Havinsham (read Great Expectations-or at least read the Cliffsnotes), allowing my bitterness and hurt make me crazy-I'm far from that. I am a nice guy-which I do believe is a dying breed. I am somewhat normal-although like everyone else I do carry maybe a little too much excess baggage. I am an intelligent, funny guy who's heart may be just a bit too big for his body. I am however mixed by the this unspoken game that these guys play.
Isn't it unfair to make people play the game, without explaining the rules, or at least how to win?
In my many months of dating men in this damn town I have decided that you have to make the rules up as you go along.
RULE 1. Boys lie, and men bend the truth, so you MUST stay true to yourself.
RULE 2. Know the difference between a hook-up and a relationship.
RULE 3. Be prepared to never hear for the guy again, EVEN if the date went well. Many guys still have a hang up-it might be an ex they are still in love with, or maybe they just aren't ready to pursue a relationship.
RULE 4. Know a good thing when you see it. If you aren't ready for a relationship, but have a date that you could see as a possible boyfriend, keep in touch with him. You might see him in a different light in a short time.
Rule 5. If you expect to see him again, NO BOOTY ON THE FIRST DATE. IF YOU GIVE THAT UP-YOU'VE LOST THE GAME!! My girlfriends all swear by the third date rule-so I'm choosing to live by it. Of course that doesn't include one nighters a.k.a hook-ups.
RULE 6. Be honest to him and yourself, and be nice. If this isn't going to work out, let him know, but be nice in the delivery. If anyone is going to be evil and ugly about it, let him be that person.
RULE 7. Don't let a guy make you feel like bad about yourself. Just because he couldn't see what a great guy you are, doesn't mean that others don't.
RULE 8. Rely on what your gut says-not your heart. You generally know what the outcome of the date is going to be within the first hour of the date. If your heart says it's true love, but your gut is saying it's going to end up a hook-up, GO WITH YOUR GUT!!
RULE 9. Don't bring friends on your date, don't talk about exes, don't answer cell phones, and don't put up with guys who do!! There is a time and place for all of that but the first few dates are not one of them!
RULE 10. SELECT THE PROPER PLACE FOR THE FIRST COUPLE OF DATES. Those places are as such:
a. coffee shops-that way if the date is going sour quickly, you can end it quickly.
b. parks-preferrably while walking a pet. See above about ending it quickly, and you can blame it on the dog. But if it goes well, you can invite him over for a drink.
c. for lunch on a work day.
d. errand running
Bad ideas for first few dates:
a. movie theaters-2 hours without talking, how well do you know the guy who you're with?
b. your home, or his home.
c. bars-can't talk if it's too loud-and you never know who you are going to run into there-i.e. ex boyfriends, other people you've dated, etc.