ALCOHOL WARNINGS!!
The FDA is considering additional warnings
on beer and alcohol containers.
Some of the suggestions are as follows:
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WARNING,
the consumption of alcohol may make you think
you are whispering when you are not.
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WARNING,
the consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story
over and over again until your friends want to smash your head in.
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WARNING,
the consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like
thish.
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WARNING,
the consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers
are really dying for you to telephone them at 4:00 AM.
*****************************************************
WARNING,
the consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering
what the hell happened to your pants.
*****************************************************
WARNING,
the consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the
morning
and see something really scary (whose species and/or name you can't
remember).
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WARNING,
the consumption of alcohol is the leading cause
of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.
****************************************************
WARNING,
the consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
tougher,
handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named
Chuck.
****************************************************
WARNING,
the consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are
invisible.
****************************************************
WARNING,
the consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are
laughing
with you.
****************************************************
WARNING,
the consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space
continuum,
whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to
disappear.
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WARNING,
the consumption of alcohol may actually cause pregnancy
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