Mood:  quizzical
Now Playing: blues traveler- hook
How does one define love? How do you know if you've found that "special someone" with whom to spend your life? These questions have not been important to me since June of 2004. I don't share my soul with people. I'm not a cold fish, however- I am social and outgoing, and I enjoy good conversations. But to wear my heart on my sleeve would be an act very out of character for me. I've been hurt, and hurt another in return, and there are personality traits I have which puzzle me. I lose interest in potential boyfriends rapidly, and I sometimes feel like the black widow, mating and getting mine and then moving on. That sounds horrible and makes me look like Jezebel, but I feel that way sometimes. Anyway, all this considered, for me to be even asking myself the aforementioned questions is strange. I am not sure whether I should take this train of thought to heart or dismiss it as I would any other similar thought. Is there a reason I'm asking myself these things now? And if so, does this mean I should allow myself to be vulnerable, share a piece of myself with someone again? Should I override my fear of being hurt and betrayed? Do I have enough heart left to share, and would it be worth it to the other person to take a chance on me? Argh.

awake
Mood:  caffeinated
i can't sleep for some reason..i keep thinking about arizona. didn't think i'd miss it when i left, but somehow now i do. or i miss my friends, i guess. i am usually able to pack up & move on without a care. but i miss the life i was beginning to build. i don't have anyone to go shooting with out here, and i kinda miss the neighborhood bar. although i know i'll find a new bar here, and i'm sure i can deal with lone range time, i suppose i had a comfort zone built there. as much as i hated the heat, and the cali vibe, i have to say the people i knew make it all seem bearable now..hmmm. of course, once i'm 2000 miles away!

The Georgia Rain
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: the go soundtrack
I forgot how much I missed rain. It is sunny something insane like 320 days of the year in Phoenix. Northern Arizona gets some rain, but nothing impressive.

I'm eating coffee flavor yogurt with chocolate chips in it right now. It's decadent. The best kind is Brown Cow, you can get it at health food stores. Mmmm...

Funny how a song can stir up ancient emotion in you. I can hear something I haven't heard in years, and yet be immediately returned to age 16 in all its "invincible" partying. Why does wisdom come with age? Thank god I didn't die all those times I now see I could've died. Hmmm..

I love the rain.

new beginnings
Mood:  chillin'
Well, here's my first "blog." Would that be "blog" or "blog entry?" Oh well. I will be attempting to make this site interesting as I recall my pc literacies. It's been awhile!