Five Wrestling Gimmicks That I Liked
It's no big secret. From 1991 until when I went off to GSU, I watched professional wrestling religiously. I'm not necessarily ashamed. While there are still a few entertaining personalities (Kurt Angle, Edge & Christian, The Hurricane) left, it's gotten pretty bland nowadays. You know why? No good characters! Look at these guys! They were fun!

1. The Bezerker

Ah yes, the Bezerker. A viking! He came out looking like he does there in action figure form, but he carried a bigass sword and yelled in vikingspeak.

2. Repo Man

Repo Man was great. He did little video skits where he stole cars. He repossessed "Macho Man" Randy Savage's hat once.

3. Shark Boy

Shark Boy is one of those guys who never has really been able to make it into the WWE or the old WCW, but he sharks around the independant federations and has quite the following.

4. Papa Shango

He would set people on fire, make black stuff ooze out of the foreheads... all with his magical shaman voodoo powers. The guy who portrayed Papa Shango would later become The Godfather, a wrestling pimp. That was fun as well.

And the all-time greatest wrestler of all time...





5. THE MOUNTIE!

A wrestling mountie! It reeks of Canada! He'd use his little shock stick there and the WWF would insert a little "zzzap" sound everytime. He also sang his own theme song, in a very horrible fashion, which had the best lyrics in the world. "I'm the Mountie! I'm handsome! I'm brave! I'm strong!" I tried to find it online, but couldn't. He went away for a while, but came back as a member of the Quebecers, under his real name Jacques with partner Pierre. Their gimmick?

Top Five Reasons Anna Thinks The Previous Five by Five Is Lameass
1. It has no words!

2. I'm giving you suggestions!

3. I'll do one for you... but I probably won't.

4. Books are dumb!

5. I just like using the word "lameass."

Five Books I'd Love To Never See Again
Now Playing: 'Breathe'
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Five Recommended Songs in My MP3s with Female Names in the Titles
1. "Maria (Shut Up and Kiss Me)"
This is Sir Willie Nelson, from his newest album of originals (well, originals and covers). It was actually written by Rob Thomas, which scares some people. I like it a lot.

2. "Virginia, No One Can Warn You"
One from the lovely Tift Merritt, who I recommend to everyone and nobody gives two craps about (which, granted, is a lot to give).

3. "Jennifer Ever"
This is a rare one from the Smashing Pumpkins. It took me forever (i.e. a week or so) to find. I know a Jennifer or two.

4. "Dammit Janet"
From the Rocky Horror Picture Show, of course.

5. "Sweet Jane"
The Cowboy Junkies are amazing. They're usually pretty depressing though, which isn't always what's needed. Great music though. I've been loving them since the Georgia Southern days, when a great dude named Omar sent me a CD of theirs (and then ANOTHER one).

Five Things I'll Be Reading Tonight and Tomorrow Night
Mood:  don't ask
Now Playing: Andre 3000
1. "50 Things You're Not Supposed To Know"

A nice quick read. A very, very interesting book. I'll probably be commenting on this more later. Apparently milk can be really bad. You can cheat the post office really badly (naturally, I'll be avoiding that tip, though it IS clever).




2. "Blender"
New issue! There it is! Feature about OutKast! Feature about the craziest stars of all-time! More importantly, feature about OutKast!

3. "Spin"
The punks don't have a scan of their newest cover up. Kurt Cobain's on the front. It's the ten year anniversary of suicide extravaganza!







4. "Maxim"
Ignore the Paris Hilton cover, because I'm so tired of her, I don't think she's even hot, and look at the competition. Marge... sexiest mom ever! That Homer's a lucky, lucky man. The issue also includes a feature on the cutest animals of all time.

5. "Paste"
All I could find was a tiny, tiny picture of this month's cover on the Paste website. Patty Griffin is on the cover. Patty is awesome. The sampler CD is probably the best one I've ever seen in Paste. Norah! A bunch of others who I really like! Why not get it?

Five Favorite Images Saved on my Hard Drive That I've Yet To Find Another Use For Besides This
Now Playing: Strangely enough, Mr. Garrison's Christmas song
Note to the youngins: this entry contains a dirty word in about two seconds. Steer away now.













1:

That's from "Harold & Maude," a great movie. And I agree.

2:

The only thing worse than this statue would be one of a giant ant.

3:

One of many scenes from the film "Amelie," which I probably haven't mentioned. It's the least goth movie ever. There's not a scene that's not full of color. And also full of French.

4:

I just think it's a good picture of the woman.

5:

Only because I'm shocked that Sesame Street is going to have a Muppet named Dr. Feel. Ugh.

Five Questions to Answer on Friday for 3.19.04
The Friday Five appears every Friday at the stroke of midnight on FridayFive.org. My second (or third) post on this incarnation of AO was the Five. This'll be a regular part of Five by Five, along with the usual lists. Feel free to post a comment with your answers so I don't get lonely.

If you...

1. ...owned a restaurant, what kind of food would you serve?
It'd probably be along the lines of Applebee's menu, because I'm into that kind of crap. It wouldn't be so Applebee's-looking though (the actual restaurant). And pumpkin pie would be offered as a dessert. I'd call the restaurant Goose's.

2. ...owned a small store, what kind of merchandise would you sell?
Music. Lots of music. A few toys and books, too.

3. ...wrote a book, what genre would it be?
Biography. I've actually started writing one four times now. I'll get it together one day, possibly when I've lived long enough to actually write an autobiography.

4. ...ran a school, what would you teach?
Funny you should ask! I'd just teach kindergarten or first grade, as planned.

5. ...recorded an album, what kind of music would be on it?
Horrible. :) It'd probably involve an acoustic guitar and me, kinda somewhere in the general area of not as good as Dave Matthews / possibly a little better, but probably much worse than John Mayer.

Five Favorite South Park Episodes
(in no particular order)

1. Chickenlover
You will respect my authoritah! This is one of the episodes that got me hooked in the first place.

2. Simpsons Did It
My favorite of the newer class of shows (though being in season eight now, I guess that label is gone) pays homage to the greatest show of all time.

3. Gnomes
My favorite episode. It's got Tweek. It's got Tweek's dad and that lovely, smalltown mountain music. And it has the underpants gnomes. Step #1: Steal underpants. Step #3: Profit!

4. Sexual Harrassment Panda
The episode storyline really kinda sucks. But it's Sexual Harrassment Panda. That in itself, and his visit to the bar (and other visits) make it all worth it.

5. Cartmanland
Cartman gets his own freakin' amusement park.

Honorable mention: Any Jesus episode, especially the boxing one against Satan.

Five by Five: An Explanation
Now Playing: The Shins - 'So Says I'
What is "Five by Five"? Simple, really. I've been plotting it out since I revived AO for the 19th time. It's, for lack of a better explanation, a reason for me to make random lists that I otherwise have no room for. Five things I like. Five things I don't. It'll get a lot of pop culture junk out of my head. I can (and probably will) sprout out my favorite music babes. And hey, I'll even throw in some actual knowledge every now and then.

As far as the title, it came from Faith on "Buffy."

Suggestions for topics are welcome! IM 'em, comment 'em, or e-mail 'em.