Georgiana and Her Courageous Journey

"Georgiana's Courageous Journey"

My life changed forever on December 21, 1992. That is when I became the mother of a beautiful little girl. Georgiana Eleni Antonopoulos became the love of my life. She was vibrant, fearless, kind and selfless. A true angel right here on earth.

Then, on June 4, 1999 lightening struck. Georgiana was 6 years old and was in kindergarten. She had been complaining for a week or two about pain in her left arm. I didn’t think much of it. She was an active 6 year old and thought she probably hurt it somehow playing. Then one day the nurse called me from school and said that Georgiana was in tears over the pain. So, I went to school to get her and took her to the pediatrician. As he examined her he could not see or feel anything in her arm. But when he touched a certain area Georgiana jumped. He sent us for an x-ray that day. After the x-ray the doctor recommended we come back the next day for an MRI to be sure nothing was there. When the MRI was complete I remember the radiologist calling the doctor and telling us to go see the pediatrician. We went back to his office and he told us that he wanted us to go down to The Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia (CHOP) as soon as possible. He said they saw something on the bone but was not sure what it was and wanted us to get it checked out by a specialist. I knew something was wrong.

We were instructed to go to the Emergency Room with Georgiana’s films. I remember sitting there in the ER playing Connect Four with Georgiana as a million different doctors came in to examine her. Finally, one of the physicians came in and called me out of the room. He told me that they found a tumor in her arm and it was cancer.
They diagnosed her with Ewing’s Sarcoma. I then called my sister who contacted my husband, Greg, who was on the road at work. When Greg arrived I literally fell in his arms and said, “It’s a tumor, she has cancer!” I lost my mother when I was 15 years old to cancer and I remember vividly what she went through and I knew what it was going to be like.
However, I can say now it was so much worse than I ever imagined. After we were told that our daughter had cancer we were told that Georgiana would have to have a biopsy of the tumor. We set up the appointment for the Orthopedic Specialist and went home.

The next day we sat in the Orthopedic Specialist office as he spoke to us. I remember he brought in an oncologist with him, Dr. Rheingold. She told us that after the biopsy they would be able to see what protocol to put Georgiana on. She then proceeded to tell us of the dreadful side effects associated with chemotherapy. Georgiana was doing GREAT. She had no idea how serious this was and she surely did not need to know at 6 years old that she had a life threatening disease. I could tell that she was very scared as we talked about what she was going to have to endure. Dr. Rheingold told us that Georgiana would lose all her hair and that was followed by a loud scream from Georgiana and many tears from all of us. Georgiana was very particular about her hair…like mother like daughter! We scheduled her biopsy for the next week and went home.

The big day came and after the surgery we met with a team of oncologists. The “good news” was that Georgiana did not have Ewing’s Sarcoma, which they said was good because its overall prognosis is poor. It definitely was cancer but it was labeled Pre-B Cell Lymphoblastic Lymphoma and the prognosis was 75%. They told us about all of the drugs Georgiana’s little body would have to ingest and with that a million different side effects. And Georgiana had every “rare” side effect in the book! The most frightening side effect was the chance of her developing a secondary cancer. The oncologists assured us that the chances of that happening were very slim but as medical professionals they had to make us aware of it. We had no choice and Georgiana began chemo on June 21, 1999.

Georgiana was such a fighter from day one. She was positive and did exactly what she was told to do. By July 1, 1999 she developed a fever and infection that bought a ten-day hospital stay. During that stay Georgiana lost all her hair except for a few strands. That was so hard to see for the first time. Georgiana had beautiful, thick brown hair. I assured her that it was all going to grow back and that in the meantime we could go hat shopping at the mall and buy all the hats she wanted. Before you know it we were on a shopping spree. After a few weeks all the hats sat in a drawer in her room. She HATED wearing them; she said, “They itch!” I was not going to argue that! We were so proud of her courage, she didn’t care what people thought and I thought that was WONDERFUL! She would get upset when people would stare and that happened A LOT! I assured her that they were staring because they were curious. I can still hear her saying to me, “Mom it is still not nice to stare!” I had to laugh and say, “I know Georgiana but not everyone is as nice as you are.”

We learned to adjust to our “new normal”. Georgiana was hospitalized several times through December 1999 with fevers and infection from all the chemo. Then January 2000 came and she went into her maintenance stage which meant she only had to get chemo once a month instead of once a week like she was getting for 6 months. The hospitalizations were fewer and fewer. Her hair was coming back in and Georgiana was feeling GREAT! We planned our trip to Disney World through the Make-A-Wish Foundation. We went in April of 2000 and it was such a fun trip. We have so many memories of that.

Georgiana was now a first grader and LOVED it! She was extremely smart and very well liked by her classmates. We were so proud of how far she had come in almost a year from diagnosis. She completed first grade in June 2000 and summer was here, Georgiana’s favorite time of the year. We wanted to make up for the summer we lost the in 1999. We took a few trips to the beach, a place Georgiana treasured. On June 28, 2000 she had her yearly check up. The day was filled with scans of all kinds. We were so nervous but were reassured that everything was clear and that Georgiana was still in remission and doing just as the doctors were hoping.

July came and Georgiana spiked a fever. So, we were in the hospital over the 4^th of July holiday, but were told she was okay. She had a slight case of pneumonia but nothing serious. We went home July 5^th. A few weeks later I noticed that she was sleeping a lot and that she had some unexplainable bruises. Georgiana had said to her G-Mom, “Is my cancer back because I am tired a lot and this is not my normal tired?” I called the clinic and told them my concerns. We were to go in for our monthly visit in August and they assured me that she was okay; after all she just had her check up and was in the hospital for a few days. The bruises were getting worse and I called clinic again and took her in for blood work on July 31, 2000. I knew in my heart something was wrong. Within minutes the doctor came out to me and asked if she could see me in the office. She told me what my heart already knew…Georgiana relapsed. We were admitted that day into CHOP.

After several tests and a bone marrow aspirate we were told that Georgiana relapsed with Acute Myeloid Leukemia (AML). She needed to have 2 rounds of intense chemotherapy all done as an inpatient. And that would have to be followed by a Bone Marrow Transplant in order for her to survive. We were so confused. She just had her check up and was in the hospital and she was fine. This was SO unfair, especially for Georgiana. The doctors have told us that they were not sure if this was the dreadful secondary cancer that we feared or if the Lymphoma had changed to Leukemia. We will never know that they said. The point was…the cancer was back.

After Georgiana endured the first round of intense chemo the doctors did another bone marrow aspirate to see if it was working. I remember waiting so long for those results. It was September 16, 2000 and Dr. Rheingold came into our room and I could tell by looking at her face. She didn’t have to say a word. I looked at her and said, “It didn’t work did it?” She just put her head down and nodded “No”. I could see in her face how upset she was also. She was very optimistic and said that there have been others that failed the first round and we still have the second round to get through. She was positive and helpful and we needed that. We did not tell Georgiana this news. We felt she did not need to know. She knew she had to get two rounds of chemo and we were going to start the second round the end of September. We went home for a week and enjoyed every minute of it. I especially enjoyed sleeping in a REAL bed!!

The week at home was short and over and we were back in CHOP starting the second round of chemo. For 4 weeks I was so nervous and anxious. I could not wait until the next bone marrow aspirate to see if the chemo worked this time. But, Georgiana did not have to have that aspirate because the cancer was showing up in her peripheral blood when the nurse did her CBC. Which meant the chemo still was not working. The oncologist told us that Georgiana’s body developed a Multi-Drug Resistance (MDR). The only option left was an experimental drug called Immunotherapy. We were told that the chances of this working were very low. We questioned putting her through more medication. She was so sick from all the chemotherapy. But, the doctor assured us that the side effects were minimal. She would have flu like symptoms and sleep for the first 24 hours. So, we tried it. Georgiana had one dose of Immuno therapy and by the following week her blast cells (cancer cells) were 90%. This was not working either.

At this point it was the end of October 2000. We had a family meeting and were told that Georgiana would have less than a year to live. We were told that the chemotherapy, which dropped Georgiana’s blood counts to zero, would never come back to normal. Georgiana’s body would not be able to fight any infection that would invade her body and the longer her counts were zero the higher her chances were for developing an overwhelming infection. We were placed on Palliative Care at this point and we could decide whether or not we wanted to be at home or at CHOP for treatment the inevitable. We got to go home at this point and come in as we needed or desired to

Halloween came and Georgiana was, for the most part, doing okay. Georgiana was a ladybug fanatic and you guessed it…she was a ladybug for Halloween! A few days after Halloween Georgiana had a very high fever. Her fevers never went away but this was getting higher and higher and I called the Palliative Care team and we took her into CHOP. Her pain was high and she was placed on a morphine pump. That stay was short and we went home. In the meantime, Dr. Rheingold and Georgiana’s nurse Deb arranged for Georgiana to go the N’Sync Concert on November 12, 2000. They also arranged for Georgiana to meet the guys. She was ecstatic. If you could have seen her face when she found that out, it would have melted your heart as it did ours. So, we were off to the concert and Georgiana was very sick that day. She had her portable morphine pump and “barf bucket”. She was so tired she could hardly keep her eyes open. She managed to stay awake to meet them and it was great for her to meet N’Sync…she was a dedicated fan to those guys! She would watch the N'Sync Concert video constantly in her room and when she was feeling good she would dance all around her room. During the end of the concert she was literally falling asleep and we left a few minutes early. I could tell she was in pain but she was not going to tell me that and she would NEVER push that morphine pump, a true fighter!

November 14, 2000 Georgiana woke up from a nap and said “Mommy, I want to go to the hospital. I don’t feel right.” We took her right in and I knew this was going to be it. I could see her getting worse and worse by the day and my heart was breaking every time. After she was examined we were told that she had double pneumonia and fluid in her stomach. The doctors started her on antibiotics and increased her morphine since her pain was only getting worse. The doctors talked to me about having “a talk” with Georgiana to get her feelings on this. So I did it. I asked her if she was scared and she said, “yes”. I asked her if she was afraid to die and she said “no”. I then said, “Honey what are you afraid of?” She burst out in tears and said “Mommy, if I die then I will not see you for a really long time until you die and I will miss you so much.” I was trying so hard to be strong and not cry but I lost that battle. I told her she would always see me from Heaven. She also said that she was afraid because she promised us that she would always fight. We told her that she is fighting and always had and that she NEVER EVER disappointed us. She still woke up every morning and wanted to go to the playroom and do Arts and Crafts and take a walk to the gift shop. By the following week we were told that her blood cultures were coming back positive while she was on all the antibiotics. This was the “overwhelming infection” that would take her life. They told us she had 2 weeks at the most to live.

Georgiana’s pain was getting worse as the days went by and the doctors kept increasing the morphine so that she would be “comfortable”. We wanted to try and get Georgiana to have some fun so we had an “early” birthday party for Georgiana at CHOP in the playroom on November 22, 2000. Georgiana loved her birthday and we knew she was not going to be here for her “real” birthday in December. She seemed to be happy about it, but still I could see the pain in her face as I stared at her and watched her become a lifeless cancer victim. I remember right before she came in the playroom for her little party Georgiana was in her room with my sister. My sister was crying and upset over the news about Georgiana. Georgiana came over to me and said “Mommy, Aunt Dee-Dee is crying and I think she is sad because I am going to be 8!” God, she was SO AMAZING!

The next day was Thanksgiving and Georgiana woke up and insisted that we go to G-Mom and G-Pop’s for Thanksgiving dinner as we were planning to do. The hospital gave us a pass and we went. We were there for about 2 hours and Georgiana wanted to leave and go back to CHOP. We did just that and she got in her bed and slept the rest of the night. The next morning the Palliative Care team came in and said that she would pass in a day or two. She was looking very gray and was not eating or drinking at all. We were told these were the first signs of the dying process. That same day Georgiana woke up and said, “I want to go for a walk to the gift shop for juice!” She shocked me to say the least! We took her down and she got every juice that was there and of course never touched one of them. She went for several walks that day and I remember her getting into bed and saying to us all there in her room, “Guys, can I tell you all something?” We said, “Sure!” She said, “I love you all”. She went to sleep for the night and we just contemplated whether or not she would wake up again.

Saturday, November 25, 2000 Georgiana did wake up and wanted to use the bathroom. She would never use a bedpan…a modest little girl! She went back into her bed and within a few hours she became unconscious. She could hear us though. I would talk to her and tell her how much I loved her and she would squeeze my hand with what little strength she had left but I felt it and it just brought tears to my eyes every time. When I would get off the bed to eat or use the restroom she would grunt. My sister would sit with her and tell her I was right there and was eating or whatever. As soon as I was done I would get right back in that bed and she would nestle her cute little bald head right in my armpit and put her hand on my leg. She knew I was there with her and she knew when I was just inches away from her. Georgiana fought all night Saturday into Sunday. She would not let go, though we told her it was okay to now. The sound of her breathing and gasping for air haunts me every day. At 7:00AM Georgiana opened her eyes, looked at me and took her last breath. A vision I will never forget as long as I live.

There were many times that Georgiana talked about “the light” she seen. I remember the first time, it was a rainy, gloomy day outside and there was no sun at all shining through. But she woke up and said, “Mommy, please get that light out of my face.” I said, “What light?” She just rolled over and said, “Never mind” as if I would never understand it. And she also talked about “another person” being in the room with us but again would not explain it to us. It was then that I believed in Angels and life after this one. We are now left with all of her belongings that will now remain memories in our hearts and minds. Georgiana was truly an angel on earth. Now she is an angel in Heaven. She blessed us every day when she was here with us and she will continue to bless us every day from above. She will remain with us ALWAYS in our hearts until we reach eternal life. A day we no longer fear, but look forward to.

“Georgiana, we miss you and love you more than anything in the whole wide world and that will NEVER, EVER change. You will ALWAYS be “Our Baby”.

Love,
Mommy and Geggie
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox