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Righteousness
Cindy Hyde
"...if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature:
old things are passed away;
behold, all things are become new."
2 Corinthians 5:17
"And they overcame by the blood of the Lamb
and the word of their testimony and not loving their lives unto death."
Revelation 12:11
This Scripture says we overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony. I praise God I am an overcomer through His Son!
FILTHY RAGS
"But we are all as an unclean thing,
and all our righteousness are as filthy rags;
and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities,
like the wind, have taken us away." Isaiah 64:6
My Christian life started in a little Baptist church in a very small community. I don't remember the sermons but I sure remember those altar calls! I always dreaded that part. Every week the Lord would call out to me, "Won't you accept Me as your Savior today?" Every week I would deny Him. I didn't know the term "White Knuckles" but I was well aquatinted with the symptoms. I would squeeze the back of those pews 'till my knuckles would turn white every single week for months. Talking about stubborn.
God continually called. I continually refused. I was to self-conscious to walk down the isle. To embarrassed? To self-conscious? Probably all the above. How ignorant these excuses sound to me now when I realize I could have spend eternity in hell over it.
I attended church faithfully, but I could not participate in the Girls Missionary Auxiliary because I was not a member of the church. I couldn't be a member without first becoming a Christian. I was miserable. I knew God wanted my soul. Why did I resist? I am not sure.
During the summer of '72 we watched a film about the "End of Time." I still feel the fear that the film put in me. It scared the "hell" out of me! I couldn't get to that preacher fast enough when it was over! I was afraid NOT to go down that isle and ask Jesus into my heart. I was afraid of what would happen to me if I didn't!
That day my name was written in the Lamb's Book of Life. Oh what a day of rejoicing it was for all that attended that little church, and for the angels too. I finally accepted Jesus as my Savior. I was finally a member of the church. I could finally join the GMA's. My life was better now!
Was this a true salvation experience? Yes, it was. Did I meet Jesus? No, I didn't. Did I know who Jesus was? Yes, I did. Did I have an understanding of the Bible after years of going to church? No. Why? Because I was more interested in the socializing then the spiritualizing. Did my life change after I was saved? No. Why? Because I did not truly have a conversion experience. I didn't meet Jesus that day, but I eventually did.
I've since learned that you can accept Jesus as your Savior, and truly mean it, but if there is not someone in your life that can help you learn about Him, help you develop a relationship with Him, then the seeds that were planted are stolen.
I entered into rebellion after a while. Was I ever cleansed? No, I never really stopped sinning. I justified what I choose to do. Don't we all when we sin? I exchanged my robe of righteousness for filthy rags. My iniquities did take me away like the wind. For many years.
THE PRODIGAL
"The backslider in heart shall be filled with his own ways . . ."
Proverbs 14:14
When I was 16, I ran away from home. I ran away from home again when I was 17 and again when I was 18. The last time was for good. I was on my own! I was finally independent! I had my own apartment, a job, a car, what more could a teenager want?
I had a boyfriend who was 9 years my senior. He would come over when he got off work, I'd cook us some dinner, he would bathe, change, eat and stay. I was playing house. The pattern continued until all his clothes were in my closet. Viola! I had a shack-up!
I did think about Jesus and my salvation but I was assured that I could not be taken "out of my Father's hand." I knew that once I was saved I was always saved!
I had just backslidden. That's all. I knew that I could repent at any time and it would be OK. That thought was my safety net. My 'license to sin' if you will. I was young. I had plenty of time for 'religion'. I wanted to do what I wanted to do. I was full of myself.
We can all make excuses for our the sin in our lives that we don't want to stop doing. My thinking was distorted, my emotions were running amuck, I felt sorry for my "boyfriend" turned live in. He had been married before, had a child and he had lost everything. I somehow confused those feeling of compassion mixed with infatuation with being in love. My life has quickly turned into a mess. Seemed I was wallowing in a pig pen and didn't even realize it.
My parents were not 'practicing' Christians at the time, although they believed in God, they had their own issues. However; they had friends who were strong Christians. They were a big influence in my life when I was a child. They always took me to Sunday School with them. I had gone to their mother's funeral, and they told me how much it was hurting them to see me live in sin like I was doing. They didn't condemn me, they didn't tell me I was going to hell, they just told me it was hurting them. I knew I was wrong. I was so sensitive and so loving that their love for me brought conviction to my heart. I made the decision right then to stay with them and leave my sinful lifestyle. I was determined to get my life right with God. I repented and returned to God. I put on my robe of righteousness again. But did I get rid of those filthy rags?
UNHOLY MATRIMONY
"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers:
for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness?
and what communion hath light with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14
I was doing good until the 3rd day. The boyfriend-live in called me and proposed. I was ecstatic. We had been together for over a year. It was what I wanted. To be loved, and wanted. Isn't that what every woman wants? Within the week we were joined in unholy matrimony by the JP. That was the end of Cindy Lou Gearhart and the beginning of Cindy Lou Mixon.
I realized I had made a mistake in marrying him. He didn't know how to love. He had a problem with women. He was selfish, didn't know how to express his feeling, didn't communicate, was verbally abusive, possessive, jealous, I could go on and on here but you get the picture. I was young, thought I had found true love. He was the older man who found a young bride.
I was so miserable. So sad. Heartbroken. Rejected. I was unequally yoked. He was raised Catholic, went to Catholic schools and refused to hear anything about God.
Before I could get out of the marriage I found out I was pregnant. I was thrilled, he was aggravated. Our already bad relationship just got worse. I was emotionally starved. The love I seemed to need always seemed to evade me. He was emotionally unavailable. So my focus turned to thoughts of the baby, and how wonderful it would be to have someone to really love me.
Our daughter, Nikki Lee Mixon, came into this world prematurely, but beautiful and healthy. Little did I know how she would suffer for the rest of her life because she was a girl. Her dad rejected too. He would play with her occasionally but he was emotionally unavailable to her too.
We separated when Nikki was only 5 months old. It didn't last long. I was told I couldn't make it on my own, that things couldn't be that bad, that I needed to try to "work things out." I needed to forgive and forget. So I went back. It was easy for me to forgive and forget. And things would be ok for a while. At least a couple of weeks. Then, it was back to normal.
Verbal, emotional, mental, and spiritual abuse is just as real as physical abuse. The wounds may not be physically apparent, but they are there and cause more problems than the cuts, bruises, and broken bones do. When your heart breaks, when you have no hope, when you feel trapped, unloved, unappreciated, when you life is meaningless, and pointless, something has to happen. The signs of abuse are there and are visible to those who suffer abuses. See if you recognize some of them. Low self-esteem, feelings of unworthiness, loneliness, isolation, co-dependence, fear, rejection, cowering down, isolated, withdrawn, introverted, skittish, quiet, nervous, etc. I suffered from all the normal things, insecurity, nervousness, stress, low self-esteem, lack of confidence... I had no support or help. The ones that were there for me didn't seem to understand the depths of my pain. They weren't there to dry the tears that poured forth from my broken heart day after day.
I was unequally yoked. I had sinned by marrying him in the first place. I did not pray about it. Didn't ask God if he was the one for me. And had I done that what would my life had been like? I was stubborn as most teens are. My parents warned me. Did I listen? Of course not. Do I wish I would have. A thousand times YES!
You who are single. . . Please heed this advice... never marry without first going through some very serious pre-marital Christian counseling. It will help you find out things you would never think of to find out about your partner. Do not even date anyone who is not a Christian. God has someone wonderful for you. Let me encourage you in this area. After my final separation I was devastated. I wanted to have one marriage and for it to last the rest of my life. Didn't happen. So I stayed single for 9 years. Dedicated my life to the Lord, told him I would never again choose another man as long as I lived. I didn't.
Only three weeks after doing this the LORD gave me the desires of my heart. He sent me a good man. I knew when I saw him I would marry him and spend the rest of my life with him. We've been married now for 8 years and it has been tremendously blessed. We didn't even have our first argument until we had been married for 5 years. Can you imagine? We are equally yoked. God has truly given us a wonderful gift. He will do the same for you. Trust Him and seek first His kingdom. He will give you the desires of your heart.
UNGODLY CHOICES
"There is a way that seemeth right unto a man,
but the end thereof are the ways of death." Proverbs 16:25
After separating when Nikki was 5months old, we got back together and I knew I was with child that very night. Nikki was only 8 months old. Shawn Paul Mixon was born on the 4th of July. My husband now had his son. Oh what a difference there was in him. He was a real man now! He had a son. Shawn was literally 'his' son. Seemed I had little to do with it to him.
Within a month I was with child again. 21 years old. Stressed out. Emotionally unstable, abused, confused and suffering from post part depression. He didn't want another child. We made the decision to abort the pregnancy. I had a friend who had 5 abortions. She was a big influence in my life at the time and said there was nothing to it. The people you are friends will most certainly influence you. The Bible clearly states "Bad character corrupts good character."
Within two months I was pregnant again. I reassured myself again that this was not a child until it was over 12 weeks old. It didn't have a heartbeat, and was just a mass of tissue. These facts are readily supplied by the abortion clinics. They always counsel you before you have an abortion. I needed to believe the lies and half-truths they told. I spare the details of the abortions here, but for the sole purpose of saving unborn babies threatened by abortionists I'm giving that testimony a page of it's own. Abortion Kills!
The effects of those abortions have lasted a lifetime. The guilt, the shame, the regret, the condemnation, and the unforgiveness is almost more than a person can deal with unless you learn to block it out. After all not dealing with it is so much easier. The pain in your soul is profound. Only through Christ Jesus can a woman come to terms with such tragedy. Such devastation. I lived for years unable to forgive myself and believing God would never forgive me. At the young age of 23 I had to have partial hysterectomy. More than likely because of the damages from the abortions. I was actually relieved that I could have no more children. I was in a bad marriage, knew he didn't want any more. Had I been married to a different man, had I been equally yoked, I would have had dozens of them!
Although I chose what seemed right to me at the time, there was that convicting voice of the Lord that told me it was wrong. There was an internal battle to fight the entire time. The fact of the matter is I sinned. All sin leads to death. I was totally separated from God now.
My grandmother was a praying woman, a preacher, ordained minister. Praise God. I know had it not been for her prayers I would not be where I am today. I doesn't matter how bad the situation seems to be. There is always hope. The Bible says, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteous- ness." I John 1:9
It was years before I would realize this wonderful fact. Until then I remained a prisoner to the guilt, the shame and the remorse. Stones a prison wall does not make, nor iron it's bars. I was in prison. Shackled. Carried a heavy ball and chain. Was on death row. But my prison had no walls and no bars to hold me in. My prison was in my own mind. God can set you free. I have a study called Prisoners of War, Shackled No More where I go into depth on these issues. If you struggle in this area please read these two studies.
I can not stress the importance of having good friends. Friends who believe in God. Friends who will not lie to you, who will help you walk a good path instead of a sinful one. The sinners are blind too and if the blind lead the blind both end up in the ditch. There is always hope. There is always forgiveness. God is so merciful and so full of grace towards us, but please know that God will not be mocked. Only genuine repentance brings forgiveness of your sins. You must never crucify Christ all over again. He paid the price for your sins. He hung on that cross for you, so that you could be forgiven. Accept His forgiveness today for all your sins.
ENDING THE ABUSE
"I sought the Lord and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.
Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame."
Psalm 34:4,5 (NIV)
At the age of 26 I finally realized that I did not have to spend the rest of my life being abused. I had been reading my Bible again and making some Christian friends. The Lord was becoming more real to me than He had ever been before at any time in my life.
We separated again for the final time. There had been about 8 or 9 others. As all young women, I had determined to be the one to break the family tradition of multiple marriages. I didn't do that. I felt like a failure. I knew that God hated divorce. My dreams of the "perfect family" had been shattered even before Nikki was born, and most certainly was after her arrival. What did I have left but broken shards of lofty dreams, false hope, and fantasies of how life should be. I was bad about looking at things with rose colored glasses on and this shattered those glasses. All I was able to see was despair, bits and pieces of a life, where did I go from here?
I began to seek the LORD. For the first time in my life I had a relationship with Jesus. I sought him and he did answer me. I was so excited. I was so filled with hope once again. All my fears of not being able to make it on my own vanished as I learned He was my Provider. I took Jesus as my Husband quite literally. 2 Corinthians 11:2, "For I am jealous over you with godly jealousy: for I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ."
My husband blamed God for our separation instead of himself, he said it was that "black book" that I was reading that had done this to us. He said it had made me change so much. Well Praise God, he was right. I had changed. The book I was reading was the Holy Bible and it was changing my life. I was beginning to feel life flow into me from the WORDS I read. I felt hope, and love for the first time in many years.
People who began to see me said I had a glow about me. As I was looking to Jesus, my new Husband, I began to have a joy in my heart that I had never had before. The shame began to melt away, the guilt was only there occasionally when the enemy would try to condemn me. I had asked the LORD to forgive me finally and I felt forgiven for the first time in my life. I was on my way to freedom finally. I began a very long and painful healing process.
IN SEARCH OF LOVE
"And ye are complete in Him. . . " Colossians 2:10
For the first several months of my new life I searched desperately for an identity. Men don't realize how much our identities are wrapped up in them. And an abused woman certainly has no identity. They consider themselves worms. I was only a step above a worm to myself. I found some self-help books and began to devour them. Zig Ziglar, Norman Vincent Pealle, and all the others who were so popular in the mid 80's. The I'm Ok, You're Ok books were everywhere. How to deal with anger, co-dependency. All I did was manage to figure out I was in a terrible mess.
I had never had a mentor. I didn't know what one was actually. I needed spiritual guidance and there was none. I tried finding a church to go to, but I got busy with life before I got settled in one. I had started going to school, was working full time, and there was little time for anything else. Actually I had always thrown myself into my jobs to get out of the house.
A man came into my life who was so knowledgeable about the Bible. He was so understanding, so tender, and compassionate. He shared such sweet things with me about Jesus. I will always be grateful to him for what little he did teach me, but he was married, and little did I know... he had a problem with lust. This only compounded my problems when the relationship I thought was so wonderful began to get physical. Now how could I enter into sin again after this newfound relationship with Jesus? I wasn't grounded. I had no foundation, no support, no help, no guidance, except in the wrong direction. I was easily led astray because it met a need in my life too. I needed companionship, I needed love. And to a woman who thought you expressed your love physically it was no big deal.
Let me give you some advice, never allow a man to counsel you, and vice versa. It opens to many doors to sin, it is not godly, and it is not safe. To many people get hurt, too many families are torn apart because of adulterous relationships within the churches because of this one reason. Always counsel with the same sex or with a couple for your own safety. There are many wolves in sheep's clothing out there. Don't be deceived. Don't fall into the traps he sets for you. You will fall if you don't heed the warnings.
I filled many more months working and doing the party scene. Working all day, dancing the night away. It didn't take long for it to take it's toll on me. So I went down another path of rebellion against God. I finished school and got Certified as Paramedic. I was a pioneer in the field of Para medicine for women. There were less than 100 Certified Female Paramedics in the United States. That was a good feeling to me. This helped boost my self-esteem. And for the very first time in my life I actually felt good about myself and what I was doing. I felt good about my job.
My job quickly became my life. It seemed to fill that emptiness. I was helping people. I was making a difference in the world. I was needed. My job was important. I was saving lives. I was important. I was respected in the community. Everyone wanted to be my friend, they knew I'd save their life. I began to even have some self-respect. All those things that are so important to us. But without God in your life, all these things are vain. They are useless and temporary.
I worked for three years, 80-100 hours every week. Overtime was always available. I worked every shift I could get. I didn't have to worry about a social life. What friends I had were cops, paramedics and firemen. Very few women. But my life had meaning, it had purpose and direction for the very first time. I was accomplishing something worthwhile. I had a sense of belonging finally. My emotional healing continued. My self esteem grew and my self confidence grew as I made life changing decisions every day of my life. I had to learn to make decisions. I had to learn to be aggressive. To take charge. To be in control. I had never done anything like that before. But I learned.
I thought I had found completeness in this career, in my job, in my material posessions. But the truth of the matter was I was incomplete without God in my life. We all are. We can find all kinds of things to make us feel complete but everything is only temporary. We can only be complete in Him.
THE LOVER OF MY SOUL
"Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners;
of whom I am chief." I Timothy 1:15
I did have a few relationships while I was working. There was always seemed to be something missing. I used the legality of my marriage as a safety blanket to keep me from marrying another abusive man. That seemed to be the type I attracted. Abusers. Losers. Low lives. Scum. Emotionally unavailable men. In fact I dated one man that could have been my X's twin in every way. You'd think I would have learned the first time. But we tend to repeat the mistakes we make until we finally learn from them. I was looking for a man to make me feel complete. Since my job was no longer doing that for me.
I had that hole in my heart. I searched hard for that one man that could fill it. I wanted and needed to "feel" loved and complete. Needless to say I never found him. And believe me I looked under every rock, in every crack, nook and cranny. I looked everywhere but in the right place. I searched for love in all the wrong places. Isn't that where love is found? In a relationship between a man and a woman?
Love always seemed to evaded me. Oh don't get me wrong there were plenty of men to say, "I love you." But they didn't. Most of them didn't even know what love was. For that matter I didn't either. It was almost as if I was an antibiotic and love was the plague. All the relationships I had were sick. I was sick. I was 30 years old. I was empty. I was tired. I had searched for years to find love and only found more disappointment. One relationship after another failed, but with each one I learned a little more about myself. I learned that I wanted something real.
The only Christian influence in my life was a Jehovah's Witness that I worked with. I was burned out from working so much. The constant abuse by some of the guys at work was taking it's tole on me. I was stressed out and seriously depressed. He brought a Bible to work with him one day and said, "Here, read this. I think you need something in your life to help you. I'm really worried about you." He gave me a Bible. It touched my heart and I began reading it that very day.
I was lonely. I started praying again that day and asking God to forgive me again. To me I sounded like a broken record. But I was desperate. I felt like a trapped animal. I was in a situation I could see no way out of. I was single. The sole provider for my aunt, my daughter and myself. I had a house to pay for, a car note, and all the other bills that come along with living. My relationship began to strengthen with the LORD again.
January of 1993, while saving a woman's life, I injured my spine. God had me flat on my back, but He literally delivered me from the situation I was in. As the old saying goes, when you're flat on your back you have no where to look but up. I continued to look up. I continued to pray and could see that this was a Divine intervention. Painful indeed. But Divine.
I knew about Jesus, remember I was saved when I was 15 or was I? I had never met Jesus personally until I was in my early 20's. I knew Jesus Christ was the Son of God and I knew He had died for me because of the love He had for me. I knew John 3:16 by heart. "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have everlasting life."
My problem wasn't believing in Jesus, it was being able to believe He actually loved me. Especially after backsliding so many times. I used to think, "How could He love me?" I felt so unlovable. I had done so many bad things, so many things were wrong with my life. I had sinned time and again knowing all the time that what I was doing was wrong. How could I ever be forgiven? Was there really forgiveness for me now?
I was clothed with the filthy rags of my sin. They had me weighed me down. They hindered my life in so many ways. I had no peace. No love. Only temporary bouts of happiness when circumstances were right. I was in a pit. I cried to God many times begging Him to forgive me. I didn't know He had already forgiven me the first time I asked. He forgave, but I couldn't.
I tried hard to believe He could love me so much. I felt like the chief of sinners. What was there I had not done. Of the ten commandments, which I also knew by heart, I had broken them all but one. He loved me in spite of myself. He was the Lover of my soul all along. I just never realized it. He loved me enough to come into this world, pay the price for my sins, and die for me. The Bible says, No greater love can any man have than to lay down his life for another. My Jesus did this for me. He did it for you. Because He loves you. Believe it. It is true. Doesn't matter how unlovable you feel or think you are. He loves you all the more because of it. I pray you feel His love for you right now.
THE LITTLE LOG CABIN CHURCH
"This is good and pleases God our Savior, who wants all men to be saved and to come to a knowledge of truth." I Timothy 2:3, 4
My dad got saved while he was being wheeled to the operating room for emergency open heart surgery after years of rebellion against God. While going down the hall he bargained with God. God spared his life. He started going to church and praying for his household. God answers prayers! Household salvation is a promise from God.
I would go to my parents on a few weekends and go to church with them. I knew I would never again work as a Paramedic so I was searching for a new meaning to my life. Every time I went to that little log cabin church the sermon was exactly what I didn't want to hear. I knew God was talking to me. I was living in sin with an alcoholic by this time and I was miserable. I also knew that God wanted all of me this time. That it was all or nothing. He was through playing with me and I knew it. I refused to be a hypocrite like so many of them that filled the pews. What an excuse eh? But I was serious. I didn't want to give up my sinful lifestyle just yet, and I didn't want to play at church. I had a serious choice to make.
I had prayed the sinners prayer a hundred times it seemed, but I would never change my lifestyle. I refused to give up the things I considered fun. I had no Christian friends. I had searched out alternative religions, New Age, Shamanism, Wicca, etc. They were not what I was looking for. However; when I stepped inside this little log cabin church I could feel something I had never felt before anywhere. It was the love of God. His presence was so strong in that little Baptist church that it brought tears to my eyes every time I went. I would just sit there and tears would stream down my face and I couldn't even figure out why.
I was a prisoner in my own mind. I could not forgive myself for the things I had done. What a wretched woman I was. I started seeing sin as it was. A serious act against God.
After about a few months of preachings on the weekends the knowledge of truth began to settle in my heart. I would go home, and think about what the preacher had said, the words wouldn't leave me. I realized that I had found what I had been looking for all the time. I was falling in love with Jesus. I realized that He was what I needed in my life. The Holy Spirit was wooing me, He was romancing me. Jesus wanted me and I could feel Him tugging at my heart.
I decided to give my life to God. I asked Jesus to forgive me and be my Savior again. I had done it so many times before, but this time was so different, I knew there was no turning back. I knew this was for an eternity. I cried out to God to that day with everything that was in me. I didn't have to beg for His forgiveness like before. I knew I had it. For the first time in my life I felt forgiven. I felt clean, I felt filled, and felt loved.
I dedicated my life to God. I did not rededicate it. It was never dedicated in the first place. If it was I would have been living my life for God. I wholeheartedly surrendered my life to Him in 1993. I knew that there was nothing left in the world for me. I wanted nothing but Him at that point in my life. I wanted Him with all my heart. I wanted to live my life for Him. I started doing it then and have not once looked back, thought about going back, or have I ever regretted my decision that day. My life finally had meaning. True meaning. True purpose. I was finally fulfilled and felt totally complete. I felt whole. And very loved.
A NEW CREATION
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation;
the old has gone, the new has come!" 2 Corinthians 5:17
I became a new creation that day. Occasionally the Lord will bring one to memory that I had not repented of and I quickly repent and receive the forgiveness that He offers.
I became rich with God's love, His mercy filled every hole in my soul. His compassion healed every scar. The sins I had committed were serious ones, but Jesus washed me white as snow. He fogave them an forgot them. The blood of Jesus was applied to the wounds that were still open and each one of them were healed. "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Psalm 147:3
God not only bound up my wounds and healed my brokenheart, He took the filthy rags I was wrapped in, washed me with His cleansing blood and exchanged thosefilthy rags for a white robe of righteousness. No longer was I defiled.
My greatest treasure now is His unconditional love. I found safety, and security in the arms of my Savior. Oh what a love it is. If I had only found it when I was in the Sunday school classes as a small girl or when I was 15, or in my early 20's that He loved me so much, my life would have been so different. I know what love is now. It is unconditional, healing, fulfilling, satisfying and eternal.
Love covers a multitude of sins. I finally realized that God is love. When I accepted that love my life was transformed. I met Him personally. I know He is alive.
From that glorious day to this there has not been one thought in my mind of going back, turning back or looking back. Except for those times I need to pull something out that would help someone else. I left the past behind. I now press on for the prize that is set before me. My hope is in my Savior Jesus Christ.
Please know that God loves you. There is nothing you can do to make yourself worthy or good enough for His love. Consider your ways. Consider what you have and what you will have to give up. I gave up nothing yet I gained everything. What I thought I was giving up I didn't really want in the first place.
Jesus is here for you today too. Right now. Will you open your heart to receive His love? It is a simple thing to do. If you would like Jesus to come into your heart and give your life meaning and purpose say this simple prayer with me. Then let me know so I can be that Christian friend to you, that mentor, that support that I never had. There are many people out there willing to pray with you, study with you, help you, pray for you, and hold you up till you get firmly planted yourself.
Job 29:14, "I put on righteousness, and it clothed me: my judgment was as a robe and a diadem."
Isaiah 61:10, "I will greatly rejoice in the LORD, my soul shall be joyful in my God; for he hath clothed me with the garments of salvation, he hath covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decketh himself with ornaments, and as a bride adorneth herself with her jewels."
PRAYER OF REPENTANCE
Genesis 15:6, "And he believed in the LORD;
and he counted it to him for righteousness."
Jesus, I know that I am a sinner. I know that the penalty for my sin is death. I believe that You died for my sin and that You shed Your blood for my forgiveness. Thank You. I receive the gift of eternal life. Come into my heart now. Help me live my life the right way. Help me remove all the sinful things out of my life. I want to be pleasing to You.
Send me some good friends that will help me develop a relationship with You. Friends who will pray with me, who will teach me the knowledge of truth.
Thank You for saving my soul and setting me free from all that had me bound. In the name of Jesus I pray.
Now, simply begin to talk to Jesus as your friend. He is the Best Friend you will ever have. Read your Bible, the Word of God every day. Start in the book of John. He loved Jesus so very much. He will help you see how to love Him too.
Soon your life will be filled with peace regardless of the circumstances you face. You will find that you have help for every area of your life. You are never alone when have Jesus in your life. He will never leave you nor forsake you. Remember He loves you! And so do I.
If you've prayed this prayer please email me. CindyHyde@theremnant.org I would love to hear from you. Even if you haven't said this prayer but would like someone to pray for you email me. I would be honored to pray with you.
God bless you,
Cindy
hyde@inu.net
John 3:16