| What he says… | What he means… |
|---|
| It’s a guy thing. | There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical. |
| Can I help with dinner? | Why isn't it already on the table? |
| Uh-huh / Sure, honey / Yes, dear | Absolutely nothing; it's a conditioned response. |
| It would take too long to explain. | I have no idea how it works. |
| Take a break, honey. You’re working too hard. | I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner. |
| That’s interesting, dear. | Are you still talking? |
| You know how bad my memory is. | I remember the theme song to 'F Troop,' the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned... but I forgot your birthday. |
| Oh, don’t fuss. I just cut myself. It’s no big deal. | I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt. |
| Hey, I’ve got my reasons for what I’m doing. | And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon. |
| I can’t find it. | It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless. |
| What did I do this time? | What did you catch me at? |
| I heard you. | I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me. |
| You know I could never love anyone else. | I am used to the way you yell at me and realize it could be worse. |
| You look terrific. | Oh, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving. |
| I’m not lost. I know exactly where we are. | No one will ever see us alive again. |
| We share the housework. | I make the messes; she cleans them up. |
