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Dear Abby:
I have been engaged for almost a year. I am to be married next
month.
My fiancée's mother is not only very attractive but really great
and understanding. She
is putting the entire wedding together and invited me to her
place to go over the
invitation list because it had grown a bit beyond what we had
expected it to be.
When I got to her place we reviewed the list and trimmed it down
to just under a
hundred ... then she floored me. She said that in a month I would
be a married man
and that before that happened, she wanted to have sex with me.
Then she just stood up and walked to her bedroom and on her way
said that I knew
where the front door was if I wanted to leave.
I stood there for about five minutes and finally decided that I
knew exactly how to deal
with this situation. I headed straight out the front door...
There,! leaning against my car was her husband, my father-in-law
to be. He was
smiling. He explained that they just wanted to be sure I was a
good kid and would be
true to their little girl.
I shook his hand and he congratulated me on passing their little
test.
Abby, should I tell my fiancée' what her parents did, and that I
thought their "little test"
was asinine and insulting to my character?
Or should I keep the whole thing to myself including the fact
that the reason I was
walking out to my car was to get a condom?
"I'm so unlucky that if I was to fall into a barrel of nipples
I'd come out sucking my thumb."
"Don't bother discussing sex with children. They rarely have
anything to add."
Wife to Husband: If I die, I want you to promise me, in the funeral
procession, you'll let my mother ride in the first car with you.
Husband: All right, but it will ruin my day.