I have no real purpose for this page.......So i'm going to put up more useless mind bable and maybe A few things that might be funny......In A sick sort of way.
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A reporter was walking through town when he saw a small child being attacked by a pit bull. Just
then, a boy ran over to the fracas and with his bare hands, grabbed the dog, pulled him off the child
and snapped his neck, all in one quick motion. The reporter ran over and said, "That was the most
courageous thing I've ever seen. I can see the headlines tomorrow morning 'Earnhardt fan saves
child from vicious dog attack'." "Well," said the boy, "That's great, but I'm not really much of a fan
of the Intimidator." "No problem," said the reporter. "I'll just make it read 'Wallace supporter kills
ferocious pit bull, saves small boy'." "But I'm really not a Rusty Wallace fan, either," said the boy.
"Well," asked the reporter, "Who DO you root for?" "I'm a fan of Jeff Gordon, the Rainbow
Warrior in the number 24 Dupont Chevrolet Monte Carlo," he said proudly. Sure enough, the very
next morning, the Charlotte Observer ran the following headline: "Redneck Punk Slays Beloved
Family Pet."
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‘Twas the night before Christmas; we were all in the den With stacks of blank tapes
waiting for ESPN To begin their long-promised NASCAR race binge. "I should’ve played Santa",
I thought with a twinge "For the kids, while they’re little; Dad did it for me". When a gawdawful
roar drowned out the TV. I ran to the window and my eyes opened wide As a black Chevy sleigh
with a "3" on its side Streaked down the driveway and over the lawn Smoking and sparking, with
one fender gone. It steamed and it rumbled, seemed ready to stall And six or eight elves came
over my wall. They jacked up the sleigh, the right runner came off, When the engine fell silent with
one last deep cough. Four dove under the hood; I saw eight tiny feet While the driver, disgusted,
sat low in his seat. Then one elf came ‘round to the side and said "S**t! The oil cooler’s busted.
What’d you hit?" The driver said nothing; the elf hurried away. Then the driver unbuckled and
climbed from the sleigh. He threw down his helmet in the snow with a smack Then pulled a big
bag from out of the back, Squinted down through his shades at a list that he had. Then growled up
at me, though he didn’t sound mad, "Y’all got three kids here? Dick, Sarah and Kyle? Them
elves’ll be busy. We’ll be here a while." I was still kind of shocked, but I opened the door, and he
clumped up the steps and across the hall floor. The kids gathered round, their mouths open in awe
While he rubbed his mustache and sized up what he saw Then he pulled out a die-cast and gave it
to Kyle The "44" Hot Wheels brought out a big smile. Dick got a turquoise Ford marked
"Heilig-Meyers" and grinned up at the driver and played with the tires. Then the driver looked
down and nodded his head, And reached in the bag and to Sarah he said, "All the girls wanted this
one" and handed her "5". Sarah just stared, and I came alive And said "Thank the man, Sarah";
she looked at the floor Then said "Terry’s OK, but I like ‘24’". Though just for a moment his
shoulders did sag, He quickly recovered and reached in his bag For a rainbow-striped Chevy then
leaned down and whis- pered "The kid ain’t all bad". She gave him a kiss. Then he turned for the
door, but quickly looked back, And pulled one more die-cast out of his sack. He gave it to me
and did it look great - A black Thunderbird, with a red "28". Tears came to my eyes and the
numbers got wavy; I sure like the car, but I wish it said "Davey". Then an elf stuck his head in the
door and yelled "Go!". The driver dashed out and ran through the snow. He buckled back in and
pulled in his sack Then the elves dropped the sleigh down off of the jack. I leaned out the door,
shouting over the din "Where do you go from here?" He gave me a grin And called as the sleigh
sailed up over the gate "I’m winning Daytona, then I’m going for eight".
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Joke Removed I guess God was tired of pretending.
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There were four men who went on an African safari. An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Dale Earnhardt
fan and a Jeff Gordon fan. At the end of an all day hunt, they were sitting around the campfire
drinking there favorite adult beverage. The Englishman opens a bottle of ale, turns it up, drinks it,
then throws it up in the air, takes out his pistol and shoots the bottle out of the air while shouting
"God save the queen". Then the Frenchman takes out a bottle of wine, turns it up, drinks it, then
throws it up in the air, takes out his pistol and shoots the bottle out of the air while shouting "viva la
France". Then the Dale Earnhardt fan opens a can of Old Milwalkee, turns it up, drinks it, then
throws the can in the air, takes out his pistol shoots the Jeff Gordon fan while shouting "It doesn't get
any better than this".
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Three NASCAR fans were on their way to a Race when one noticed a foot sticking out of the
bushes by the side of the road. They stopped and discovered a female dead body. Out of respect
the Jarrett fan took off his hat and placed it over right breast. The Martin fan took off his hat and
placed it over her left breast. Following their lead, the Jeff Gordon fan took his hat off and placed it
over her crotch. The police were called and when he arrived, the officer conducted his inspection.
First, he lifted up the #88 hat, replaced it, and wrote down some notes. Next, he lifted up the #6
hat, replaced it, and wrote down some notes. The officer then lifted the #24 hat, replaced it, then
lifted it again, replaced, lifted it a third time, replaced it. The Gordon fan was getting upset and
asked, "What are you, a pervert or something? You keep lifting and looking and lifting and looking."
The officer said, "No, I am just surprised; normally when I look under a #24 hat, I find an asshole."
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Ford Jokes
Q....Why did they put heaters in the tailgates of the new Trucks?
A....To keep their hands warn when pushing it to the shop.
Q....What should a Ford Taurus really be called?
A....A Ford Tortious.
A man pulles up next to a little girl walking home from school and said "if
you get in,I'll give you a lollypop." The girl kept walking. The man then
said "Come on get in the car with me and i'll give you two lollypops." The
girl kept her eye's on the sidewalk and continued on her way. The man said
"Get in with me and I'll give you a whole bag of lollypops!" Finally the girl
turned and said "Look daddy, YOU bought the ford, YOU ride in it!!!"
For
Over
Rated
Drivers
Flip
Over
Read
Directions
Fixed
Or
Repaired
Daily
Fucked
Over
Rebuilt
Dodge
Are you noticing that I really don't like ford's?????
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