Hello my friends,I have found that, as I share my life here, that I have made a few people confused as well as taking the appearance of someone that is confused. I appologize for that, let me explain further what I mean by stating my vision for internet ministry:
"I feel the Lord is directing me to share my life as an open book, all my victories as well as failures, all my strengths as well as my short-comings, my entire life. In this I maintain transparency and allow people to watch me grow, showing them that there is someone like them that shares joy, passion, and zeal for the things of God. This also shows my struggles which allows for an accurate perspective of the "Christian Walk" not to amplify these matters yet to edify and give hope to others that share common struggle."
When I started this ministry at least a year ago, I didn't really realize what I was getting myself into. I was being obiediant to what I feel the Lord was calling me to do. I overlooked the fact that by portraying my faults and weaknesses I was painting a picture that some may not understand nor like, thus causing confusion and such. The bible is very accurate about this matter when it speaks about "idle words" and "the power of the tongue". I often describe things I am going through using imperfect analogies and improper adjectives, metaphors, and similes.
Please take note of this as you read my emails and visit my many webpages. I make mistakes just as all, I don't say that as any excuse yet merely to explain the difficulty of this ministry. Please don't take any offense if I ever "share my sins one with another" and take it that I am glorifying anything wrong or distasteful, I just speak straightforward as to what I did wrong. I tried candy-coating my sin in order to make it sound less distasteful to this audience, but I have realized the cost of sin, the aweful death of Jesus Christ and the damage it does to the person. You must realize that if I am talking about lustfully looking at a woman, I can't just call it "sexual problems" and cover up the disgustfulness of the sin for the description would be inaccurate and shows a low level of maturity.
I described something in a past email that was inaccurate, actually it was an imperfect analogy. I told you that it seemed God was "playing let's make a deal" a popular game show from the late 70's early 80's. I meant something totally different in that statement than what the majority of you took it as. Here is what I should have written:
"Have you ever said 'Lord here I am, use me' only to get a lot of opportunities popping up?" That is what I really wanted to portray.
Well, it's about time for bed...I wanted to give you a short update on my life before I go. I have had a lot of opportunities pop up that were exciting and wonderful. Many of them were things I really wanted to do, things that would have been ministry opportunities, some of them were things that I just shrugged off because they were outlandish and ungodly.
It wasn't confusion, yet moreso an examination of my heart and a test of my obiediance to God. I picked the one opportunity that I least wanted to do, but it was the one that I felt most spiritually in tune with. I decided that in the perfect will of the Lord that things won't always be "perfect"...and I noted that I am just 22 years old and have a few years left in me if Jesus doesn't show up t'morrow.
Did you ever make a decision that really seemed like it stinks, because you really want so much more in life than what you have now? Did you ever decide to do something that wasn't really the most exciting even though you could have done anything you wanted? Well I should be allowed to pought, but I thank the Lord for all the things He has blessed me with here in Waycross, Georgia. I suppose I'm stuck here, but I pray that my life won't be wasted to a little town, a stagnant pond. I'm joking a bit, but it often feels like this is a tiny spring in the middle of a huge desert, some don't want to drink anything, most want to make the appearance of drinking and look down on those that aren't making a good show, and a few others of us are thirsty enough to really take some huge gulps. That describes Waycross, Georgia the best...a smaller town that has over 195 churches in it and most of them don't want to work together. Actually I wouldn't want to work with most of them, church isn't an accurate term...ever been to a spiritual funeral where people appeared to be joyful yet were miserable and lost?
I decided to pass on other opportunities and stay in Waycross until God moves me. I suppose I could be like my great-grandfather, there is honor in being dedicated to a small church in a small town. My great-grandfather was a baptist pastor at the same little church in the same little town all his life, and I admire him a lot. I never really knew him, but he is the one person in my family I would most like to take after and be like. Pastor Fuller...now that has a ring to it...hee hee!
Well goodnight, if you'd like to see the page I've been working on...it's still new and incomplete but I like it. It's my version of the Eagle's Nest homepage, not to be in competition with the current site, but to add my perspective to it:
http://www.angelfire.com/ga/efm
If you know anyone who would like to be on this email list or anyone who could be helped by this, please send me a little note and I'll add them. If you want to be removed, too bad, you are stuck forever!