A common question newly engaged couples ask is, "Where do we start?" Most newly engaged
couples have no idea how to plan a wedding. That's OK, because there are many great
resources out there to help you, starting with this list.
The first question to ask yourselves is, "What kind of wedding do we want to have?"
Start by imagining your wedding, then jot down a few details that stand out. Will your
ceremony be in a church? a garden? a tropical locale? Do you see a huge gathering of
500 friends, relatives, and associates? Or an intimate gathering of the two of you with
just 4 or 5 loved ones? Are you somewhere in between? As you imagine and discuss, jot
down your impressions on the following details:
time of year or season
size of guest list
formality (If you're not sure what constitutes formal, informal, semiformal, etc.,
ask yourself what kind of wedding clothes you and your fiance would like to wear,
and what you have in mind for your attendants to wear.)
locale (city and state/province or an exotic location, such as Jamaica)
time of day
overall feel or ambience (formal elegance, casual fun, etc.)
preliminary budget (total dollar amount that you can afford)
Once you've listed these first details, discussed them together and made some decisions,
it's time to start some more in-depth planning. There are lots of places you could start
this stage but the smart place to start is with the budget. You may be shocked when you
first find out how high some of the expenses can go. It is possible to plan a lovely
wedding on a small budget of $1000, but $20,000 is not considered outrageous in the wedding
world. The first step in budget planning is assigning priorities. Visit our
thoughts on prioritizing page to get an idea how this is
done. Discuss the different wedding expenses together to come up with what is most
important, and what is not very important, to the two of you.
Now that you have a budget worked out, it's time to start looking at vendors. I would
suggest choosing a place to have your ceremony, a place to have your reception, an officiant,
a caterer, and a baker for your cake first. I group these vendors together because often
couples may choose one vendor that does two or more--even all--of these tasks. For instance,
Mike and I are having both our ceremony and reception at a historic building, Old Government
House, in our hometown. Many reception sites may have onsite catering and bakery services.
So I combine these vendors together as your first decisions. To choose your vendors, do a
little research. Use the list of suggested references to make a list of vendors you
are interested in. After compiling your list, contact each vendor by phone, fax, mail, email,
or web and request that they send you information. Some will have a standard packet they
send out, and others will want to know what kind of information you are requesting. If you
can, get a list of services offered and some idea of pricing for each vendor. For ceremony
and reception sites, try to get pamphlets or other material that shows pictures of the site.
And of course don't forget to make sure they have your date available before requesting
information.
At this point you have a pile of information and want to know what to do with it.
First of all, I suggest some organization. This wedding stuff can drown you in paperwork
if you're not careful. We are using a large 3-ring binder (4" spine) to hold all of our
collected information. You can also use an accordion file, or a drawer in a file cabinet.
What I have done is to label dividers in my binder with topics such as "ceremony content,"
"ceremony and reception sites," "attire," "legal matters," "catering," etc. I then
hole-punch all information I collect and insert it under that divider, keeping all info
about each individual vendor together. If I take notes when I call a vendor, I put the
vendor's name at the top of the page and keep each vendor on a separate page. Items that
cannot be reasonably hole-punched are collected in a manilla envelope which has been
hole-punched itself and is at the back of the notebook. Start with the biggest binder you
can find. It will fill up quickly.
Next evaluate each vendor's information together. Consider price, services offered,
and how closely they match your idea of your wedding day ambience. With ceremony and
reception sites, consider how many events (other weddings or parties) can be handled at
the site at one time. Depending on the staff, you may get less than quality service if
there are other events going on during your wedding. When you have looked over all the
information, choose several vendors to visit in each category and make appointments. You
may want to bring a list of questions to each appointment.
This information should get you started well down the road of wedding planning. Be sure
to visit our references page for some ideas on finding vendors and
places where you can get further support in the planning process. Best wishes!
Find more help with wedding planning on Amazon.com!
Find more help with wedding planning on Amazon.com!
