So this column is dedicated to those of you who need the love and comfort of a pet but who have neither the time, inclination nor resources to take care of one. Our first submission via cyberspace is from my partner JudyRae whose entry is the Infamous "Twinkie".
Here is her opinion via email: Consider the following, folks, when getting your new housepet......tired of cleaning the carpet, emptying the litter box, all those trips to your local veterinarian.......research statistics now tell us there is growing popularity around the country for the pet of the '90, a Twinkie. Twinkie’s weigh about an ounce at birth, gold and white, watch for inbreeding, here, Twinkie’s are ONLY gold and white.. Check out your local 7-1 1 ethical practices before purchasing your new Twinkie. Twinkie’s are easily trained and will sit on your kitchen counter for years. Only problem is Twinkie’s do have a very short life span.....about two weeks at best. However when your Twinkie shows the signs of aging, a little high gloss polyurethane sprayed directly on the Twinkie, and a pretty dish, and you can preserve the beauty and memory of your Twinkie for life, displayed in its favorite spot in your kitchen.
Official Twinkie Song: Why, because they love you............twi nk iiies,.......twinkie cakes, twinkie cakes........forever may we stuff our face and cheeks.....twi nk iiii eeeee ss.
DISCLAIMER: Although , I have penned the new Twinkie song, to the tune of the Mickey Mouse Club Song, let it be known that the Mouseketeers were not my role models.........however, Ollie, from Kukla, Fran and Ollie, Lambchop, and the Bevery Hill Billy’s were, and it has served me well, until now that is. Which is why I find myself living vicariously through each of the above. JudyRae
In the past I have been sent suggestions for exotic pets and these are relatively simple to acquire and maintain.
http://expage.com/page/adoptcyberpetz3 Adopt a dog "Rusty". Cute and his history tells all.
http://expage.com/page/adoptcyberpetz2 Adopt a ferret "Perrywinkle" great and no odor.
http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Boulevard/7660/adopt.htm Adopt a "cyberegg" they come in all shapes and sizes.
http://members.tripod.com/~Sherilynn/dinoland2.html They are colorful and cute. Design your on dino playpen.
http://members.tripod.com/~Sherilynn/petrock.html A perennial favorite. Cheap and very easy to care for. If you are not into cyberpets please check out your local backyard. Pet Rocks abound. Color and size no problem. A good shampooing and buffing and you have a perfectly lovely new addition to the family.
I have even heard of cyber sheep you can adopt if you are more into
barnyard animals. I will
try to find that address.
