There was this farmer walking to his mailbox one day, and he noticed a white hearse coming up the road, and behind the hearse was a man walking with a brown goat, and behind them followed about 20 people.
The next day, the farmer was going after his mail again, and he looked up and saw the same hearse, the same man, the same goat, and about 75 people walking behind the hearse. The farmer's curiosity got the best of him. So he walked up to the man with the goat and asked, "I saw you yesturday about the same time as today, do you mind telling me what's happening?"
The man behind the hearse explained that his wife died, and the farmer said "Oh I'm so sorry! What happened?"
The man with the goat replied that the goat had killed her.
The farmer said, "If you buried your wife yesterday, who's in the hearse today? The man with the goat replied, "My mother-in-law." The farmer thought a minute and asked the man with the goat, "Can I borrow your goat?" and he replied, "You'll have to get in line with the rest of these people."
Question......Why can't goats eat round bales of hay?? ?????????
Annswer......Cause they are use to 3 square meals a day....
Two does were chatting.
"I can't figure it out," said the first doe. "I'm in perfect physical shape but I'm constantly anxious."
"Why don't you go to a psychiatrist?" said the second.
Replied the first: "How can I? I'm not allowed on the couch."
A traveling salesman (relax, parents, it's clean ... besides, what are you doing reading this page?) arrives in a country store where he finds four men playing poker with a goat. He becomes more amazed when he watches the goat call for two cards, raise his bet, and take in the pot.
Finally he says, "That's amazing. I've never seen such a smart goat."
"He ain't smart," says one of the men at the table. "Whenever he gets a real good hand he wags his tail."
A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a goat sitting next to him.
"Are you a goat?" asked the man, surprised.
"What are you doing at the movies?"
The goat replied, "Well, I liked the book."
A policeman in the big city stops a man in a car with a miniature goat in the front seat.
"What are you doing with that goat?" He exclaimed, "You should take it to the zoo."
The following week, the same policeman sees the same man with the goat again in the front seat, with both of them wearing sunglasses. The policeman pulls him over.
"I thought you were going to take that goat to the zoo!"
The man replied, "I did. We had such a good time we are going to the beach this weekend!"
Question: What do you call a goat's beard?
Answer: a goatee
Sorry those were pretty bad... Take me home...