i try
Mood:  quizzical
i say i am but im not
you say your are, and maybe you are
but who would know
its my first downfall in this thing called love
its been two months since you let me go
and im still not over the things you said
the words that cut like knives, or more painful
i try to brush sadness away when it passes my thoughts, oh, its doesnt pass it stays for a long time till i fall asleep and dream of you and me
i hug my pillow and pretend it was you
talk by my self and say the things i would have said
if we were still together
i try to deny the feeling of sadness
to the people that think im stupid of still not letting you go
you were so good with things, so good with playing the field, and now as im writing this, i get mad, because i wonder but dont want to believe it that all of it was just a game. I dont know if ive learned my lesson yet, because i think when some one like you comes along again, ill be more than happy to open my heart and let the feelings all spill out. The feelings were good, i was happier than ever, and now to think of it, it makes me more madder, and more anctious to get over this shit, because i dont want to think of you anymore, but i cant help it
and now that i hear your with somone else
its just makes me contemplate more
how could you move on so quickly?

chances
You didnt give me the chance to be myself
you judged me right away, with out even getting to know me?
now, you will regret what you did
becoz you will never find out how good of a person i am
now, you will kick your self so many times for not hanging on, when the tides were rough, and when it felt empty
was that my fault? NO!
It was yours. You didnt even try. and try is the key word...not commitment. You should not have felt pressured to ask me to to be your girlfriend...becoz there is no such thing in a world called love...or too much infatuation?
well...then now its closed, chapter one of my life is done. Lets all move on from this stupid experience and learn from it. I dont regret anything i did...becoz i did every thing with my best and you didnt. Now, i hope you do regret what you did, not being with me, but the part when you said it was gone. Because it was never there, and you never gave me the chance to show who i really am. Sad to say, you will never know, and will never find out how great of a person i could be, coz you never gave us the chance

it seemed
Mood:  not sure
it seemed like it would work out in the end
it seemed like i would get a happy ending
it seemed so right
it seemed like forever
it seemed meaningful
it seemed to last
it seemed like you meant every word

SEEMs is a bad word, because there are no actuallities...

becoz
Mood:  happy
there was a time when i used to run away, anytime i started to fall, coz love's never been very kind to me, not very kind at all....

somday....
Mood:  chillin'
you'll never know unless you try...
but it sure would suck if you did and it didnt work out! but im happy

here we goo again
Mood:  a-ok
hmmmmm...i hate expecting soooo i wont...right???...coz if it doesnt happen...my fall might kill me...soo ill chill and let things happen if their suppose to!

worst christmas ive ever had
Mood:  not sure
isnt christmas suppose to be filled
with joy and love?
to feel both and get hugs?
everything is falling apart...why in this season
where everything is suppose to be jolly
its suppose to be filled with love
but its not, its filled with sadness,
emptiness, and depression
how do you feel the spirit of christmas is this time of your life?
i know its not only me now
that's been aching,
i feel even worse knowing that in not alone
in a world of tears and sorrow
looking in the bright side,
everything has a purpose
even if its the worst christmas ive ever had!

not enough
Mood:  crushed out
im not enough to make people happy
to look at me and say im pretty
theres always gonna be something missing
and i know i cant fill it
sadness is my friend now
ill try to cope but sure its not possible
who am i suppose get support from
when my friends are the once that turn against me
they might say im exagerating...
but these are my words, inspired by an even that happend...
its not funny right now...i think ive been crushed to much
i need time to heal, and pick myself back up
when will i find that shoulder to lean on
like all the songs say, but thats not really what happens...
what happens is, that their are no happy endings in somones lives...
but then again, life is worth the try
why cant i be the same. with everyone.
and act my best when im suppose to..
its either im not good at showing my best
or that my best is not enough!

I hate you now
Mood:  blue
i thought you were somone who was in my side
the fact i told you everything was not really a relief....
i hate to think you did this more than once..
now, its your fault that i hate you!
now its your fault that im sad and blue
maybe you never were friend
and like watching me down...
i guess thats it
i was trying to be the good friend and forget
but now i cant anymore
ive had enough
im not the same, and im done crying
you make me feel im not enough
and thats notwhat friends do
you should have just stepped back, but i guess thats just not you..
well now that you dont care
i just might as well say
that i hate you!

choosing...
Mood:  chillin'
its not everyday you come across two
of the things you need in your life
but you cant cant keep both,
you gotta give the other one a chance
so you choose, which one you'd rather have
even if it means letting go of the other
and hurting, to choose, but you need to.