«
The Lenny
»
The Lenny, also called the domestic Lenny or common spotted Leanne, is a large carnivorous mammal of the subspecies Dumbus Blondus Maximus. Lenny's have been living among human beings for at least 21 years and are mostly used for the disposal of unwanted food. It is believe that Lenny’s have been living among us for the last 8,000 years, archaeologists have discovered the mummified remains of Lenny’s in bogs and swamps world over - it is believed they died after spotting their reflexions in the water and jumped in to save themselves after thinking they were drowning.
A female Lenny is calls a Lenny, Queen of the Bitches or Queen of the Geeks and a male Lenny is called Thankfully Nonexistent. An Immature Lenny is called a Pain In The Arse and a group of Lenny’s is called a Riot, a group of Lenny‘s is also best avoided because their sheer stupidity alone can kill a man at fifty paces. Beware the Riot of Lenny’s. There are dozens of breeds of Lenny‘s, some hairless or tailless, and they come in a variety of different colours - much like the contents of an Ikea catalogue. They are skilled predators and are known to hunt over a hundred different types of food, including cornflakes, cheese and the contents of the freezer section in Sainsburys. They are not intelligent creatures, simple puzzles are beyond them, as are flushing the toilet, simple crosswords and understanding the cooking instructions for microwaveable popcorn.
BACK
|
|
|
