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A Polish man married a Canadian girl after he had been in Canada a year 

or so

and, although his English was far from perfect, they got on very well. 

Until

one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could 

arrange a

divorce for him-"very quick. " The lawyer said that the speed for 

getting a

divorce would depend on the circumstances and asked him the following

questions: 

LAWYER: Have you any grounds? 

POLE: JA, JA, an acre and half and a nice little home with 3 bedrooms. 

 

LAWYER "No," I mean what is the foundation of this case?" 

POLE: "It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," he responded. 

 

LAWYER: "Does either of you have a real grudge?" 

POLE: "No," he replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never 

really needed

one." 

 

LAWYER: "I mean, What are your relations like?" 

POLE: "All my relations are in Poland." 

 

LAWYER: "is there any infidelity in your marriage?" 

POLE: "Yes, we have hi fidelity stereo set &DVD player with 6.1 sound.

 

We don't

necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes." 

 

LAWYER: No, I mean Does your wife beat you up? 

POLE: NO, I'm always up before her. 

 

LAWYER: is your wife a nagger? 

POLE: NO, she white. 

 

LAWYER: WHY do you want this divorce? 

POLE: SHE going to kill me. 

 

LAWYER: What makes you think that? 

POLE: I got proof.

 

 

LAWYER: What kind of proof? 

POLE: She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at the drug store and 

put on

shelf in bathroom. I can read -- it says, "Polish Remover.