Words I’d Like to Hear More OftenFirst off, feces. I mean, I can go nearly a month and no one other than myself will bring up the word feces in an everyday conversation. If I had things my way (and all things being equal one day I will) feces would be a word as commonly used as “the” or “and”. People say shit all the time and think their hilarious, I know it would be funnier if instead of shit, they inserted feces into the sentence. Take the everyday “I’m going to take a shit” for example. Change it to “I’m going to take a fecal journey”. Now there’s no fucking way anyone can tell me that that’s not funny. Also, use it to insult someone, or just gross them out. Next time some jack ass hippie or homo says to you “Don’t forget to smile!” you reply with “Oh I won’t. Or on second thought I’ll do something better, I’ll rub feces all over your face! Yah, that sounds like a good idea.” See the reaction you’ll get from that and you’ll realize the word feces is gold! Also, turn feces into your own slang. This is a popular thing for todays kids to do, or for you bitch ass parents that want to stay "cool" and "connected" with the youth of today. Have fun with it. Invent words such as feekin, or fekes. “I’m going to go feke it” or “I be feekin” instead of I’m the shit would be perfect examples. Sure people may think your crazy, but once it catches on and believe me with my endorsement of this it will, you’ll be the talk of the town! And if you disagree with me, your wrong because I’m right. If there’s one thing to be learned from all the inspirational writings that one will come to see on this site, it’s that I am and will always be right. NEVER FORGET THAT.
Second word, urine. Similar to feces it is a word to describe the actual waste product that is released when someone goes to the washroom. Again, I just can’t hear enough of this word! Urine, urination, urinating, their all fantastic words that can be used by everyone. It is impossible to find a situation where you cannot use some form of the word urine. Here’s an example from everyday life. Your sitting in your office at work pondering your existence and wondering why God didn’t make you more like Varnson when your boss walks in. “Good afternoon (insert your hill billyish name something short possibly Ned, or Sal) I have some bad news I have to inform you of.” “What is it sir. I hope (insert ass kissing anyone does about boss’s family when bad news is near and shut the fuck up, you all do it).” “The business is on a slide right now and we are making some layoffs… we’re going to have to let you go. I’m sorry” “But… but I’ve worked here for 15 years! You can’t just let me go! I… I… I could (several possibilities run through your head, commit suicide right there, trash the office, murder your boss) I could urinate on your face!” Then whip your cock out and spray a geyser like amount of urine in your bosses face. This type of “giving it back to the man” will always work. Trust me, I’ve done it before, and I’ve never been fired! I just do it to random people in the street, it’s quite funny. But I suppose I’m getting off topic. If you can do one thing with your pathetic life, make sure you follow all the words I speak (type) to a T. If you use some form of the word urine in every sentence you speak, you’ll no longer be the loner, friendless loser you once were. No you’ll be a suave ladies man (or man’s lady) who is the life of any party you decide to attend.
Word three: G. It’s less of a word and more just a letter, but oh the possibilities that this word brings. First of all, of all the letters it’s the funniest looking one. Does a fucking T look funny? No, but a G makes me laugh my fucking ass off. But think of the different ways it’s already used, G-Spot, I’m “G’d up” and if you’ve never heard that it means I’m pimping you fucking imbecile. Just include the letter G in random sentences or misspell words on purpose so that they can include the letter G. Jokes for example should now be spelled Gokes, I don’t care if it doesn’t make any grammatical sense, it looks fuckin hilarious! And remember, if you disagree… your wrong…. And worthless…. And most likely should commit suicide. All I have to do is write Gokes at the top of a page and I’ve already won you over as being a brilliant comedian. Ponder that late at night instead of whether the offspring of a cat and a dog breeding would be called a cog or a dat. And always, ALWAYS, remember this one thing, I am better than you are.