Text Box: NOTE: Despite rumors, this site is not maintained by Chris Uldriks, merely by someone who looks like him, bears all his knowledge and opinions, as well as mutual acquaintances and enemies…..Chris Uldriks cannot be held liable for anything. 


                                                                                  

 

 

 

 

 

Text Box: WELL, WELL, WELL…… You better be scared shitless…..cuz my violent, perverted, and disgusting mind (some may say perverted and disgusting are the same, but I argue that there is a certain specificity to each art form) has invaded your beloved domain known as “THE WEB.” Yes, my children, be scared, be very scared…..if there’s not piss running down your leg right now, you’re not paying attention. SO LISTEN THE FUCK UP! This page will contain graphic language, explicit sexual content, gratuitous violence, and degrading discriminating remarks. If you don’t enjoy it, then that means I will personally hunt you down and jam a chunk of coal far up your ass cuz its apparently an untapped diamond mine. On a lighter note…..let’s remember that I’m new at this “web” business, and although all of you ladies refer to me as a dork, I have recently found out that the title “dork” is not guaranteed to include internet literacy. Patience is a virtue, and although I’m not the most virtuous person, I expect you to make up for what I’m lacking. Yes, you! So you better get cracking, cuz you’ve got a whole lot of making up to do. Now that I’ve successfully digressed, I’ll shut the hell up. What’s up is just a taste of what’s to cu come.
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


           

 

 

 

 

 

 

>>SOMETHING TO LOOK AT…

         

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                Hmm…I wonder if they have models like Hawaiian Tropic.               I really enjoyed my Erector set when I was a kid.  Coincidence?... Absolutely.

 

            >Dumb Cat [MPEG CLIP] … This is one wild pussy.  courtesy of Nima Forghani

            >Always Wear Your Raincoat [MPEG CLIP] … Simply Put.  courtesy of Laura (I forgot your last name.)

 

 

          >>QUOTE OF THE DAY…WEEK…MAYBE MONTH…

                   “Make like a tree…and…and…get the fuck out of here.”

                                    -Irish Bartender with Terets in Boondock Saints

>It must be noted that I am very fond of people with Terets.  If I had to choose a disease, I would take Terets.  You can talk an amazing amount of shit about anyone and get away with it.  For small, weak people like myself, this is a dream come true.  In the near future expect to see a tribute to Terets.

 

         

 

            >>TRIBUTE