Well, here it is. My first ever post. I s'pose I'd better explain about the site. Well I started the vault because mainly, if you ever stop and look around when you go out somewhere, you'll notice the world is full of assholes, morons, and people who, if there was any justice in the world, would be shoveling shit in hell. You know who i'm talking about. The dickhead driving round in his lowered lincon navigator, with doof doof music blaring out the fuckin car, or the (in)security guard, who gets shitty with you for standing in one place for to long.

By the way, did anyone in Australia see that Kostya Tzu fight a couple of weeks back. He was fighting some redneck from Texas. How long did he last again?

I just thought this was funny.

Anyway, I was doing some shopping when I heard about this war we might be having with Iraq. Does Dubbya Bush even listen to the UN? I mean, i'm all for nuclear disarment, but what happend to O.B.L

Friday Jokes
What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?

A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit!...

A hillbilly family took a vacation to New York City. One day, the father took his son into a large building. They were amazed by everything they saw, especially the elevator at one end of the lobby. The boy asked , "What's this, Paw?"

The father responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life. I don't know what it is!"

While the boy and his father were watching in wide-eyed astonishment, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened again, and a voluptuous twenty-four-year old woman stepped out.

The father turned to his son and said, "Go get your maw!"

A man went to the doctor and said, "Doctor, I've got a problem, but if
you're going to treat it, first you've got to promise not to laugh."

"Of course I won't laugh," the doctor said. "I'm a professional. In
over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient."

"Okay then," the man said, and proceeded to drop his trousers,
revealing the tiniest penis the doctor has ever seen.
Unable to control himself, the doctor fell laughing to the floor. Ten
minutes later he was able to struggle to his feet and regain his
composure.

"I'm so sorry," he said. "I don't know what came over me. On my honor
as a doctor and a gentleman, I promise it won't happen again. Now what
seems to be the problem?"

"It's swollen."

Till someone else pisses me off. Y'all come back now, hear!