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Oct 30 2002


I went to the doctor yesterday. I was going to get some sleeping pills, mostly. It turns out that I'm a little more fucked up than sleeping pills can fix. My doctor put me back on my anti-depressants. I haven't had to take this shit in over a year. He told me to come back in 2 weeks, if there was no change, and he would double the dosage. It is also a possibility that I need to start going back to therapy. It kinda pisses me off, but whatever. Other than this bullshit, I'm doing good. I spent sunday night to tuesday morning in Tuscaloosa. I think I may have hendered JC from doing his work. If so I apologize. Kevin got to see Dez. She was sick, but I know he was happy to see her none-the-less. The highlight of this trip was getting to spend time with Leanne. There is definetly something about her. Well, I apologize for taking so long to update, and good-bye.

Oct 16 2002


Hi again. I'm just hanging out at home, talking to Levi and Marite'. I'm trying to explain a previous entry of mine to Levi, but I think it confused even myself. I had a good night last night. I talked to Leanne for a while so that was nice. I told her I was going to bed, but when I laid down I couldn't sleep. So again I zoned out watching TV from my throne (recliner). I finally got asleep around 5:30. I posted some things yesterday, though I removed them. They we're me bitching when there was no cause for it. I suppose I should've left them but they are gone now, and that's that. Marite' is coming into town this weekend YAY!!! I haven't seen her since mid-August. I think most of the Tuscaloosa crew is coming down too. Anyway enough of this. Good-bye.

Oct 07 2002


She haunted my dreams last night. I can't really explain it. It had been so long since the last nightmare. I truly thought they were gone. Now I don't know what to think. I woke up today with my nerves bouncing off the wall and tears down my face. Why damnnit? Perhaps I just locked it away, instead of dealing with it. I was sure this was over. I hate my life.

Oct 04 2002


I am

a young powerful karate warrior. i used to inherit
martial style from my grandfather and mother, but later
i learned ancient karate style. i have evil power
within myself, but i also have a gentle heart
from my deceased mother.

take Which Tekken Character Are You test!

Oct 04 2002


Lately, I feel a part of me trying to break free; to loose itself from the chains I placed upon it. I know not how long I can keep it at bay. Why do I fear it so? It is not purely evil. And yet, I thirst for the taste of flesh. I long to look through the eyes of the mad man once more. I miss the surge of excitment through my body after every kill. The pure rage pouring through my blood. When will Bobby return? A question only I can answer, and yet I myself do not know. Until next time...

Sept 27 2002


Have you ever been so close to something, and just when you finally think you've reached it, it's ripped that much further away? This is true of many things though I imply only one at this time. I will no longer make the effort. If it comes to me now it will be refused. I'm tired of playing stupid games. I'm not here for people to use when they find a need and then throw away at their leisure. Fuck that. I've been delt that hand too many damn times before. The creature believes it is still confused. It's not confused just merely blind to the truth that is so fucking evident to everyone else. I will still my tongue on this matter for now. My ranting has served it's purpose. May it soon be forgotten. Those who read this may think they know of what I speak though they will find themselves mistaken, so try not to make assumptions.

Sept 25 2002


Why do people test my patience? Have I been someone else so long that people have forgotten what I'm capable of? Have they forgotten the fire that used to burn so evidently? I tell this to all. I may seem calmer on the outside, but the rage that possesed me before still reigns today. I'm afraid some of these insulant fools will have to see first hand to believe. If that is the case, then so be it. I'm tired of masking my demons under this pathetic weak form I've become.

Sept 24 2002


Logan
I'm Logan
What X-Men Character are You?

Sept 22 2002


Today was another typical day. Alot of boredom, hanging out with Kevin, Brian, and Joe. I miss all of my friends up in Tuscaloosa, especially JC and Leanne (no offense to the others). Since they left this town really lost any bit of excitement, that it once had. I really wish someone in this town would get a car. Just today, I had to run some lady to work at Taco Bell, pick up Joe from Alicia's house and take him home, and run an errand for a friend. It sometimes gets annoying. Oh well, I'll get over it. Anyway, I'm lonely , bored, and highly frustrated once again.

Sept 21 2002


Hello again. I'm just chilling over at Kevin's, and just thought I'd write a little. Things are still looking up. Kevin and I are supposed to go party tonight. It should be fun if we actually make it. I got my ass handed to me on some football game today.That kinda sucked, but then we got it on with some Smash Brothers. Anyway, thanx for reading and I'll write again soon.

Sept 21 2002


This is my first official journal entry. Give me a break, I know my page sucks but it's a work in need of progress. Suprisingly, to me and all that know me, I am in a decent mood as of late. Granted that at this exact moment I'm a little buzzed, but the good mood started before tonight. I'm almost done with my home school, so that is one reason. The other being that for the first time in a long while, I feel more like myself; more alive. My life once again seems to serve a purpose. Anyway, enough babbling about me. Check out some of the links to your right. Until next time, so long.

Sept 21 2002



What Asatru Figure Are You?
EvilChairGuy / By Mydako Matari