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Speachless and Redundant
Tuesday, December 7, 2004
caught
Mood:  sharp
Now Playing: nothing
I've been caught, i think. my mom wont buy the whole cat scratch thing anym0ore and the toehr day she's like, We need to talk! after she saw my wristband. Its just...argh! its like she only has time for my life and my problems when it's convienent for her. like, i'll be going to tell her somehting and she'll say, not now i'm tired and i need to rest. Its like, oh yeah, REST ON THIS! i am so frigging tired of hiding crap from her and everyone else when they could care less to begin with if i told them everything about my life. in the words of Chronic Future.....

i should say screw this shit and get used to it

get used to the guy who lives in my house
get used to mommy dearest
get used to sister-from-hell
get used to pretending
get used to the fake ass brady bunch family act
get used to living a lie

Posted by freak2/lostforwords at 5:24 PM MST
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Sunday, November 28, 2004
help me up
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: Its not a fashion statement, its a f***ing deathwish- My Chemical Romance
People are always saying, i'm here for you all you gotta do is ask and i'll listen, or, if you need help all you gotta do is ask. well, goddammit, i have asked! i mean, i have reached out, i have told people stuff, has that done any good? all people say anymore is, i dont wanna know, or they ignore me, or jsut crap about how they understand and they're here for me and then they completely and totally wont talk to me!!!!!!! well gosh, screw the whole sharing my emotions thing!

Posted by freak2/lostforwords at 1:09 PM MST
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Thursday, November 11, 2004
Ashamed
Mood:  don't ask
Now Playing: nuthin
I did sumthing this morning that i shouldnt have and i have to admit to sumone. I told someone at school today and she seemed forgiving but...i still can't help but be ashamed and scared of myself. i'm not gonna say what i did cuz people i know read this but lets jsut say it was bad......

Posted by freak2/lostforwords at 4:46 PM MST
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Quote For The Day
Mood:  down
Now Playing: notta
"The beginning is the most important part of any work"
-Plato

Posted by freak2/lostforwords at 4:43 PM MST
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Monday, November 8, 2004
Ugh
Mood:  accident prone
Now Playing: humming of the computer
ugh, so friggin bored. the great thign about having no life tho, is that after years of it, you get used to it and dont have any hope really of ever meeting people or ever actually getting a life. but eh, thats just me... ugh, i gotta go now cuz my ma is whining about sumthing, again.
laterz

Posted by freak2/lostforwords at 5:37 PM MST
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Extremely Lame Poem I Wrote
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: ER-the tv show
Days of Patience

It's Monday again
And i'm still waiting
Waiting for i dont know waht
Just something
Something to break the routine
And actually give me a life

Monday turns to Tuesday
And i'm still wishing
Wishing for i don't know what
Just somehting
Something to make me truly happy
And break through this fake crap

Tuesday turns to Wednesday
And i'm still wanting
Wnating for everything
But mostly
Just someone to love me
And make me feel i actually belong

Wednesday turns to Friday
And i'm still yearning
Yearning for what though
Just emotion
Emotion so i can feel
And have a passion for life


Thursday turns to Friday
And i'm still
Waiting

Posted by freak2/lostforwords at 9:19 AM MST
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Quote for the Day
Mood:  blue
Now Playing: the sound of ER, the tv show
"Always be nice to people on the way up; because you'll meet the same people on the way down"
-Wilson Mizner (who?)

Posted by freak2/lostforwords at 9:14 AM MST
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Sunday, November 7, 2004
Good To Know That If I Ever Need Attention All I Have To Do Is Die
Mood:  crushed out
Now Playing: Brand New
"aid my end while i believe i'm winning"

gosh, i feel so unloved right now. this guy i talk to on aim and who goes to my school is tlaking about his gf and how he likes all these other chix and he knows i have no bf, he knows i used to like him and it seems like he rubbing it in my face how these other chix can have him and i cant. gosh, i just want to go cry and die unloved and uncared about!

Posted by freak2/lostforwords at 11:54 AM MST
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Now it seems like i've forgotton my purpose in this life and all the songs have been erased
Mood:  loud
Now Playing: Scattered-Green Dayu

"Drag it on and on until my skin is ripped to shreds. Leaving my self wide open. Living out a sacrifice."

i just want to crawl back in my little whole and die. Gosh my mother irratates the crap out of me. I'm not even at her house this weekend and shes even nagging me about my grades (which are A's and B's, thank you!) becuz i havent turned in a couple of assignments. So i'm grounded forever b/c she's uptight and takes her anger and stress from her marriage and job out on me. i just hope when we (my sis, shay and i) have to go back tonight, that she'll actually let me out of the house tomorrow since we dont have school.gosh! i want out of here so bad right now! i would give anything to lead a nice, happy life....

Posted by freak2/lostforwords at 10:56 AM MST
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Wasted Youth And A Fist Full of Ideals
Mood:  hug me
Now Playing: The Grouch-Green Day
"The world owes me so f*** you..." (please excuse the language but its in the song)

so yeah anyway, i will never again call the guy who lives in my house "stepdad" becuz he never was and never will be any fatherly figure in my book. he's just there to piss me off and brainwash my mother. so i figure he was sent to punish me for all the "bad" things i do and i just have to put up with him 'til ma kicks him out or i leave. can you guess which one will come first? yep, you guessed it, me leaving in GOD! i gotta wait at least 3 years befor ei can even think about living my real dad or i'll have to wait 5 friggin years before i graduate! gosh life is hell

Posted by freak2/lostforwords at 10:18 AM MST
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