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My good friend Kristen, who has known me since Kindergarten with Mrs. Hubert (a woman no Kindergartener ever messed with) recently told me that this is more politics than me lately, and requested an update on life as I know it.

The problem is that when things are going well, I don’t complain much and lately things have been…well, pretty good. My job is both interesting and challenging, and while there are bad days there are lots of good days, too. I didn’t think I’d enjoy doing anything other than history but I guess I was wrong.

Also, the husband has been moving up in the world. This spring he scaled back his hours and started looking for something else and it turned out to be perfect timing. The State of New Jersey recruited him to work for them doing just about the same thing, still part time but with the option of increasing his hours.

We’re living on the second floor of a two-family house in a suburb of New York and while it’s kind of cramped we have no plans to move. We’ve been here four years and we pretty much love it. The attic is finished and that’s where we keep the desk and computer, a second TV with a VCR and PlayStation, and the futon. It’s like a mini dorm room so whenever we want to revert back to college we just hunker down up here and veg out. It’s pretty cool. Plus the rent is ridiculously good compared to other places around here. If and when the bubble bursts in the real estate market, that’s when we’ll scoop of a house, but for now things are fine.

The only bad thing is the parking situation. Because we’re renters we don’t actually get to use the driveway so we have to take our chances with what’s available on the street. That can bite.

So that’s it, I think. We work, we play, we hang out with friends (I saw Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants last weekend. Awww, yeah.), it’s a life.

Recently I started volunteering at a local nursing home (only one Sunday a month, I’m no hero) and holy crap are these people hilarious. I was assigned to a table to help two residents play bingo and the man was doing a pretty okay job but the woman was putting the chips (they use poker chips) on all of her squares. And I’m like, well, who am I to correct her? She wants to fill her card with chips, that’s totally her call. But I’m keeping an eye on her, too, because I don’t want her to suddenly accuse me of slacking off (in the back of my head I wondered if it was a test and at any moment she’d stand up, point her bony finger at me and shriek, “You have no idea what you’re doing!”). But she didn’t. What she did do when we made eye contact and I lifted my brows at her nearly filled card was cackle softly at me and wiggle her own eyebrows as if to say, “I’m doing something naughty! And nobody knows! Mwahahahahaha!”

I’ve been seeing some good movies lately, too. We watched the Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, which wasn’t as good as The Royal Tennenbaums or Rushmore. Also, I was recently gravely disappointed by Clive Owen. We saw that movie King Arthur and since Clive is seriously dreamy I decided to give another of his movies a go. Beyond Borders was my pick because it was the only one I hadn’t already seen that seemed at all interesting. When it climaxed I screamed at the TV “WTF is that!” So you’ve been warned. Don’t watch if you want a happy ending.

One last thing. I finally let my dentist outfit me with a bite-guard and let me tell you, I’m red hott (quick question: when the hell did we start adding a ‘t’ to this word? When?!). It’s definitely mitigated the grinding of my teeth, but I can’t completely close my mouth so the drool factor has skyrocketed. Sexy!

Asshole Alert
Now Playing: Kill Bill Volume 1 Soundtrack
From the Democratic Underground's Top Ten Conservative Idiot's List

On Fox News, coverage of last week's terrorist bombings in London was, as you would expect, deplorable. Fox News anchors could barely contain their glee as news of the destruction filtered in. To Brit Hume, the death of dozens of Londoners meant one thing - money in the bank.

"My first thought when I heard," said Brit, live on air, "just on a personal basis, when I heard there had been this attack and I saw the futures this morning, which were really in the tank, I thought, 'Hmmm, time to buy.'"

Really? Funnily enough, my first thought when I heard what Brit Hume had to say was, "Hmmm, what an enormous asshole."

And the White House Continues its Silence
From Slate:
"We now know, courtesy of Newsweek's Michael Isikoff, what Karl Rove told Time's Matt Cooper. On July 11, 2003—three days before a Robert Novak column outed Bush administration critic Joe Wilson's wife, Valerie Plame, as a CIA employee—Rove outed Plame to Cooper. Rove did not mention Plame by name, but that hardly matters (except possibly in a narrow legalistic sense, and I have serious doubts even about that). Merely saying that Wilson's wife worked for the CIA was enough to blow Valerie Plame's cover."

Two Assumptions: He did it, and he'll get away with it.
From the New York Times:
WASHINGTON, July 11 - Nearly two years after stating that any administration official found to have been involved in leaking the name of an undercover C.I.A. officer would be fired, and assuring that Karl Rove and other senior aides to President Bush had nothing to do with the disclosure, the White House on Monday refused to answer any questions about new evidence of Mr. Rove's role in the matter.

Rove a Traitor
Right now there's speculation over whether this is actually a crime or not, but I kind of think that if it isn't, it should be.

Rove a Traitor?
From the American Progress Action Fund:
Over the weekend, McLaughlin Group panelist Lawrence O'Donnell revealed (and Newsweek confirmed) that one of the PlameGate sources being protected by Time reporter Matt Cooper is none other than President Bush's senior adviser, the Mayberry Machiavelli himself, Karl Rove. Of course, we have known for some time that Rove played a leading role in the coordinated smear campaign against former ambassador Joseph Wilson and his wife Valerie Plame, the outed CIA operative. (Shortly after Plame's identity was revealed, MSNBC's Chris Matthews famously told Wilson: "I just got off the phone with Karl Rove, who said your wife was fair game.") Yet the new revelations, confirmed by Rove's lawyer Robert Luskin, are important. Not only do they provide first-hand confirmation of Rove's role in the Plame case (contradicting previous claims from the White House), but they represent what O'Donnell calls "the first hole in the Rove two-year wall of silence about the case."

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Here's another article on the same thing. Now the real test will be to see if this gets any play on the news. Probably not, because let's be realistic. There's no such thing as the liberal media unless you're referring to Air America.

Angry with Sandra Day O?Connor
I can’t believe how pissed I am at Sandra Day O’Connor. She’s not stupid. She knows that Bush is probably going to appoint some idiot Christian conservative and then Rehnquist will be next and that’s the end of Choice and birth control and maybe even the living wage for women. When we as women still only make seventy-five cents on the dollar, this is no time for moderates to be leaving the Supreme Court. Did you hear me? Do you understand? Seventy-five cents on the dollar. That means that for every dollar that men make, women only make seventy-five cents for doing the same work.

It’s a sad, sad day for women’s rights. If you’d like to do something to help, you can sign this petition.

Do it for yourself, your mother, your aunts, your cousins, your girlfriend or wife. Do it for the women in your life.

Larry David: The Roving Thoughts of a Liberal Insomniac
As a long-time fan of Larry David (co-creator of Seinfeld and creator and star of Curb Your Enthusiasm), I was delighted to discover this gem on the Huffington Post. Enjoy!

~~

The other night I was awakened by my nine-year-old. I remained in the room with her for ten minutes, whereupon she fell back asleep. Unfortunately, I had no such luck. I did manage, however, to keep a record of my brain activity. I present it herewith, strictly in the interest of science.

I wonder how long I've been up. It feels like at least forty minutes. Maybe I should look at the time. No, don't look at the time. How's that gonna help? I'm just curious. Don't look. DO NOT LOOK...three- thirty. Are you happy? Idiot. I told you not to look but you know everything…I can't stand this quilt. The comforter inside always slips down. I’m grabbing at nothing here! I haven't had a good quilt in a long time. Where'd this quilt come from anyway? Tomorrow I'll mention the quilt. She's not gonna like that. She'll say there's nothing wrong with the quilt and that'll be that. It's sad I can't have a quilt I rove...Rove, damn it, that’s the second time today I’ve done that. God, I hate that man. See, this is what he wants. He wants to get in your head. He wants to keep you up. You’re giving him what he wants! If he keeps us all up, we’ll be too tired to fight them. That’s their strategy, and you’re playing right into their hands. We have to start keeping them up. But how? The only things that bothers them enough to keep them up are fetuses. They love that fetus. The fetus and Jesus. Sounds like a comedy team. “Ladies and gentlemen, give a warm welcome to Fetus and Jesus...” Stop thinking about them. I can’t. Try! ...Okay, I’m going to think of something else. How about that juicy nectarine I had today. Yum-my. That was dee-licious. The problem is fruit is so inconsistent. When you get a good one, it’s all luck. Fruit is like blackjack. The casino wins most of the time. But at least the casino’s not fixed. I trust the slot machines in Vegas more than the voting machines in Ohio. Even sleazy casino owners in Vegas have more credibility than this bunch...I have to stop killing insects in front of the kids. Am I setting a bad example? What’s my option? Am I supposed to start ignoring flies and ants and let them wander around like they own the place? I guess liberals aren’t supposed to kill insects. See, Rove? I kill them and I rather enjoy it. Maybe you want to sign me up. I like how if you criticize the war you don’t support the troops. You’re the ones sending them over to die, so how is it I don’t support them? If the army was made up of child molesters, then I’d support them. If we went to an all child molester army, I would be their biggest supporter. “Please don’t bring the troops home. Stay the course. Keep them there a long time.” But they’re not child molesters. And they’re not the Twins, that’s for sure. Where are the Twins? Send in the Twins. I’d like to hear that scene. “Jenna, Barbara…Daddy and I have talked it over and we want you to go fight in Iraq.” ...Ah, what’s the use? Now I’m all revved up. This is what Rove wants. You’re playing right into his hands. Should I take a sleeping pill? Is that a slippery slope? It seems there are a lot more slippery slopes now than there used to be. Now everything’s a slippery slope...It’s so hot in here. I have to turn the pillow over. Why’s it so much cooler on this side? I don’t get that. I would think it would be a little cooler, but not this much cooler. No matter how hot it is, the bottom of the pillow still stays cool. One day I’d like to ask a scientist about that. Of course, I never really get to meet any scientists. You’d think I’d run into a scientist at some point. I like how they keep saying the science isn’t in on global warming. They just don’t know. No proof. But, of course, it’s in on God. Lots of proof on that. Tons of empirical evidence. They got God’s DNA. And Moses parted the Red Sea. He said, “Open sea,” and it opened. And Jesus walked on water. Those are some tricks. People must have been after Moses to do it again until he finally got sick of them and lost his temper. "No, I'm not parting it again, now leave me alone." "C'mon Moses, please?" "I said no, now get the hell outta here!" You'd think anyone who believes this stuff would be so embarassed they'd keep it to themselves. But those maniacs shout it from the rooftops and they're running our country. God talks to Bush all the time. I don’t care if you’re President, if you say God talks to you, you’re a schizophrenic and a menace to society. You should be on drugs in a mental institution, like the Son of Sam. What’s the difference between God or a dog talking to you? It’s still a voice in your head. That means you’re certifiably fucking crazy! …Look what they’re doing to me. Take a deep breath. That’s good. Listen to your breathing. That’s a meditation technique. Clears your mind. There’s a breath, that’s good. There’s another breath. I guess the science isn’t in on evolution either...No, come on, breathe. There’s a breath. Of course the planet’s only 5000 years old. Breathe, prick, breathe. What about the fucking dinosaurs?! We have the bones. They know how old the bones are! The sad thing is these nuts who founded this country fled Europe because of religious persecution. Good trade for Europe. Breathe. You have to breathe. This is what they want. I’m so thirsty. I've got to start drinking more water. It's so hard to drink, though, if you're not thirsty. You don't eat when you're not hungry. Hey, that's a good point. You actually made a good point. See, you're not stupid. "You don't eat when you're not hungry." I like that. I've gotta try to work that into a conversation. That'll raise a few eyebrows... I'm so cramped here. Look how far over she is. She's on my side. She's way past the middle. Hey, move! MOVE! I need my space, man...If they hate Hollywood so much, maybe they should just start making their own movies and TV shows. In fact, we should just split into two different countries. Then, after our stem cell research gives us the cure for all these diseases, they’ll all be trying to get across the border for our medicine, but our minutemen won’t let them. And we’ll have a lot of minutemen. I think I’ll be a minuteman. “Sorry, but our scientists worked very hard to come up with a cure for Parkinson’s and there’s only enough medicine for our people. So beat it.” ...Time to turn the pillow again. No, it’s too soon. It’s not cold enough. Let’s just see. No. Turn it. No. I’m turning it. Okay, go ahead...There. It’s not cold enough. Are you happy? ...Well there’s only one way I can get to sleep now. It always works. Sure, wake her up. That’s just what every Jewish woman wants. Sex in the middle of the night. Go ahead. This I want to see.

“Honey.”
“What. What do you want?”
“I can’t fall back asleep.”
“So why are you waking me up?”
“There’s only one thing that’ll do it.”
“Are you crazy? Why can’t you sleep?”
“You know…”
“Because of them?”
“Yeah.”
“Come here, honey.”
Thanks again, Karl. Keep up the good work.

Headlines...In no particular order
VA's $1 Billion Mistake Hurting Veterans
Friday June 24, 2:21 pm ET
VFW Demanding Emergency Measures
WASHINGTON, June 24 /PRNewswire/ -- Yesterday's announcement that the Department of Veterans Affairs had understated their 2005 health care budget needs by $1 billion came as no surprise to the Veterans of Foreign Wars of the United States.

~~

Pentagon creating database of students
Privacy advocates blast effort to find potential recruits
By Jonathan Krim, Washington Post, June 23, 2005
WASHINGTON -- The Department of Defense began working yesterday with a private marketing firm in Massachusetts to create a database of all US college students as well as high school students between ages 16 and 18, to help the military identify potential recruits in a time of dwindling enlistment in some branches.

~~

Bush Says No Timetable for Iraq Withdrawal
By TERENCE HUNT, AP White House Correspondent
WASHINGTON - Despite growing anxiety about the war in Iraq, President Bush refused to set a timetable Friday for bringing home U.S. troops and declared, "I'm not giving up on the mission. We're doing the right thing."

~~

Cheney Says Guantanamo Prisoners Well Fed
Fri Jun 24, 5:03 PM ET
WASHINGTON - Defending the treatment of prisoners at the U.S. jail in Guantanamo Bay, Vice President
Dick Cheney said they are well treated, well fed and "living in the tropics."

~~

White House Stands Behind Rove Comments
By JIM ABRAMS, Associated Press Writer Fri Jun 24, 5:06 PM ET
WASHINGTON - A White House official said Friday the administration finds it "somewhat puzzling" that Democrats are demanding presidential adviser Karl Rove's apology or resignation for implying that liberals are soft on terrorism.

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House Approves Cuts to Labor Programs
By ANDREW TAYLOR, Associated Press Writer
WASHINGTON - Funding for job training, rural health care, low-income schools and help for people lacking health insurance would face big cuts under a bill passed Friday by the House.

~~

And one last one:

Cruise Clashes With Lauer on 'Today' Show
NEW YORK
Tom Cruise criticized NBC "Today" show host Matt Lauer on Friday when Lauer mentioned Cruise's earlier criticism of Brooke Shields for taking anti-depressants. Cruise told Lauer he didn't know what he was talking about. "You don't know the history of psychiatry. I do," Cruise said.

~~

I have an open letter to Tom Cruise.

Dear Tom,

SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY, YOU CRAZY BASTARD! We get that you're batshit crazy over this 'religion'. No, really, we GET IT!

Now shut up and leave us alone!

Love,
The World

DOWNING STREET HEARING BANNED FROM HILL
From the American Progress Report:
[Today], Rep. John Conyers (D-MI) will be holding major hearings on the Downing Street Minutes. Unfortunately, they won't take place on Capitol Hill. House Judiciary Chairman Rep. James Sensenbrenner (R-WI) "recently announced a new policy to deny any request" from any minority commitee member "for the use of a committee hearing room." Sensenbrenner's deputy chief of staff let minority members know with the following e-mail: "I'm sitting here watching your 'forum' on C-SPAN. Just to let you know, it was your last. Don't bother asking [for a room] again."

~~

Lovely.