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J.P. Monroe Vs. The World

 "You are truly in the presence of Greatness"

 

"It is a brave new era of independent wrestler. So many, clinging to their desperate attempts at sports entertainment; all in vain. One outshines them all however, and his name is J.P. Monroe. Come with me now as I whisk you to the highlight of your tiny lives. Don’t forget to wipe your feet on the way in, he likes that."

-JP’s Mom-

 

It has been a dream of mine for some time now, to educate the common man on what it takes to live the life of a man like myself.
Here is my mission statement: Instruct the lay-man on the glory that is J.P. Monroe.
See, simple.
Ah, but you don't know the half of it. It takes time and inhuman effort to make something this imbecile, this incredible, relate to the likes of you, the reader. I shall however, persist, and I will succeed. I always do.
For those doubters among you, who maybe thinking: "Hey, I have a girlfriend. I'm no loser!" Remember, your women are only with you for as long as I don't want them.
Sleep well.