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The Best Page in the Universe

This page is about me and why everything I like is great. If you disagree with anything you find on this page, you are wrong.


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Am I right or what?

Take your X-TREME marketing and shove it.
(Updated: 07-07-03)

A shampoo recommendation for cry-baby pussies (new hate mail).
(Updated: 06-30-03)

Christopher Reeve is an asshole.
(Updated: 06-24-03)

My balls are huge.
(Updated: 06-16-03)

Four things that could have improved The Matrix: Reloaded.
(Updated: 05-23-03)

How to keep obnoxious teens out of a theater.
(Updated: 05-13-03)

How not to impress anyone (new hate mail).
(Updated: 05-08-03)

Would you like to bomb Iran?
(Updated: 05-05-03)

It's a dumbass marathon (new hate mail).
(Updated: 04-20-03)

Twenty-six things a perfect guy would do, and other propaganda disseminated by misguided women.
(Updated: 04-03-03)

Wireless internet may very well destroy our chances of contacting intelligent life.
(Updated: 04-11-03)

Who would make a better president: Bush or a box of Tic-Tacs? An objective analysis.
(Updated: 03-16-03)

How to become an obnoxious internet cam whore in five easy steps.
(Updated: 03-03-03)

I wonder if Jenny Jones can come up with a topic that rhymes with "canceled."
(Updated: 02-27-03)

Two characters that were missing from the new Daredevil movie.
(Updated: 02-18-03)

How to win the war and make big savings.
(Updated: 02-15-03)

Why change your car's oil when your girlfriend can do it?
(Updated: 02-09-03)

Greeting cards you wish you could buy.
(Updated: 02-01-03)

Bush: making political satirists obsolete since 2000.
(Updated: 01-28-03)

How to piss off credit card companies and get away with it.
(Updated: 01-17-03)

Hollywood: still out of ideas? How about another black-guy-meets-white-guy comedy?
(Updated: 01-13-03)

PETA: preventing suffering as long as it's not too inconvenient (new hate mail).
(Updated: 01-09-03)

Five questions that will dictate your personality for the rest of your life.
(Updated: 12-31-02)

Guiltless grill? Is there another kind?
(Updated: 12-20-02)

Wearing a Japanese shirt doesn't make you Japanese.
(Updated: 11-13-02)

CNN sucks.
(Updated: 11-06-02)

Too much of an uncreative, no-talent loser to come up with your own material? Why not plagiarize me instead?
(Updated: 10-30-02)

More crappy children's art work.
(Updated: 10-04-02)

Why stop with a muppet with AIDS?
(Updated: 09-23-02)

Seven reasons why the Xbox can suck it.
(Updated: 09-24-02)

Love your kids? Prove it by beating them.
(Updated: 09-02-02)

The movie "Signs" in four easy steps.
(Updated: 08-11-02)

Being able to spell doesn't make you any less of an idiot (new hate mail).
(Updated: 07-17-02)

Michael Newdow: feel free to exercise your right to blow me.
(Updated: 06-28-02)

I am better than your kids.
(Updated: 06-17-02)

I will kick your ass.
(Updated: 06-03-02)

Find out what they teach you in pshycology (new hate mail).
(Updated: 05-22-02)

Show everyone how much of an asshole you are by wearing faded jeans.
(Updated: 05-21-02)

Suicide isn't so bad, give it a chance.
(Updated: 04-18-02)

The real reason Metallica has a beef with Napster.
(Updated: 04-14-02)

Someone call the CDC, it turns out Stupid is contagious after all.
(Updated: 03-31-02)

Queen of the Damned is the worst movie ever made. EVER.
(Updated: 03-04-02)

Contra III: The war that the world forgot.
(Updated: 02-18-02)

Five things that sucked about Lord of the Rings.
(Updated: 01-13-02)


Read my reviews or go to hell.

Movies that I've seen
(Updated: 01-22-01)

Movies I haven't seen and have no right to bitch about (but do anyway)
(Updated: 1-5-98)

Movies I hate that begin with "T" and end with "ITANIC"
(Updated: 10-21-98)


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IRC: irc.whatnet.org #maddox

My page from 2002 (It kicks ass)
My page from 2001 (It kicks ass)
My page from 2000 (It kicks ass)
My page from 1999 (It kicks ass)
My page from 1998 (It kicks ass)

monkeymofo.com
The Official Ninja Webpage: REAL Ultimate Power
The boy who cried Iraq
Tucker Max
Book: The Poetry of Donald H. Rumsfeld
Bored at work?
impiousdigest.com
Commujism (NSFW)
godlessmotherfucker.com



19,842,140 people think I'm right about everything.
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maddox@xmission.com

This page was made using vi in unix. Anything more is for failures.

© 2003 by Maddox