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Welcome, sleeping ugly! Looking for love among the sane, the beautiful, and the attractive? Well, the possibilities of that happening are about as real as the voices in your head. Here at, all of our clients are carefully screened by our trained staff of professionals. Be sure to check out these exciting features:

Whether it's MILFs, Tourrette's, OCD or fat chicks, we've got your gimp!--er, girl

If you have OCD, click this link ten times
If you have ADD, don't bother clicking this link--you probably already clicked it five times!
If you have depression, don't bother clicking--no one will ever want you anyway!
If you have obsessive-compulsive overeating disorder, mash the keypad with your fist to order a special typing wand
If you suffer paranoid delusions, DON'T CLICK THIS LINK! THEY WILL KNOW!
If you have Tourrette's, click this fucking cocksucking ball licking Goddamn link

Your chaise lounge or mine? Be sure to visit again soon, before our clients get the help they need!