Sporkology
I used to believe that sporks could be male or female, considering my spork had told me that it was a he. My spork has in fact brainwashed me, but I am coming out of it. I have found the truth about sporks. I will share this newly gained knowledge in the following longwinded paragraphs.
Sporks are hermaphrodites. They originate from the breeding of a female spoon and a male fork. That is the only way it will work... kind of like creating a mule. If you mix a male spoon and a female fork, you will get a foon, and that looks nothing like a spork. Sporks can not multiply. If you own more than one spork, you do not need to worry about having spork babies running around your house. Sporks can and will fall in love, though. They will attempt on mating with their object of affection, but will not succeed. They will be forced to just live with the... object... and deal with the fact they can't reproduce. Now, if a spork falls in love with a human, you might be in some trouble. The spork will become very attached to this human, only God knows why... but they will.
Some sporks have the super-duper-special power of brainwashing. If your spork has this power, watch your spork and when it shows the ability, wrap it in string. This should prevent brainwashing at least for awhile. If it does not work, I am sorry, and I warned you. Oh well, you can be another member of the spork minions/military (it grows everyday).
Other than the brainwashing ability, sporks are mostly harmless. They are generally sweet in nature and very adaptable.
The average life-span of a spork is a very long time with good care.