` ` : : . . d-e-f-i-n-e 'n-o-r-m-a-l' . . : : ` `
date: 1-27-03 ... time: 11:22 pm ... emotions: anger, sadness, depression, irritability, heartache, boredom, agititation, thoughtful ... title: news
today, i guess u could say me and blade broke up... but i dont like it in those terms... rather, we're not together anymore... sounds more decent... not really :/ anyways the reason why im putting this is because i loved blade, seriously, and he couldnt return the love because he believed he didnt deserve me and i needed someone else, someone capable of caring for themself, someone who wouldnt follow in his footsteps, someone who could love someone as well... gawd, it feels so much better to talk bout it... and i thank mark so much for being there and everyone else who supported me while i was crying my ass off :/... anyways, there are quite a few entries that say "moved" (below) and the reason is because i put all my stuff that reminded me and talked about blade here... so look if u wanna, i kno u will, and dont mind the out of orderness...
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1-18-03 ... laziness O:-)
yeah its been FIVE days since i last looked at this *faints* i got kinda lazy heh...heh... BUT! I have another page to add. its gonna be my blinkie page, well adopted blinkie page... so click here to see what ive added to it so far
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1-14-03 ... moved
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1-13-03 ... moved
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1-11-03 ... Unusually Unusual - by Lonestar
She introduced herself as Amy, said call me Caroline for short
I just moved in three doors down so I wouldn't be the girl next door
And I knew the shoes she wasn't wearing fit her just right
She said, "Hey, man did you know that somebody left your grass out in the yard all night?"
She's unusually unusual
Absolutely unpredictable
She's so different and that's what's wonderful
She's unusually unusual
And that's beautiful to me
She had a tattoo above her ankle of a trident submarine
She said it symbolizes awesome powers hidden deep within our dreams
And her diamond eyes, different in color, held me captive in their light
And she said "Hey, man did you know we used to be brothers in some past life?"
She's unusually unusual
Absolutely unpredictable
She's so different and that's what's wonderful
She's unusually unusual
And that's beautiful to me
Some people may think she's strange, a different cup of tea
But she just does it for me
She's unusually unusual
Absolutely unpredictable
She's so different and that's what's wonderful
She's unusually unusual
And that's beautiful to me
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1-10-03 ... i hate myself >.<
heh... this is the perfect song for blade : she fuckin hates me - by puddle of mudd... cuz i really do hate him now... at least in my mind i do... he really... grrr... its like cuz of us when we were "together" everyone was surprised and against "us" but now its like everyones against me and they dont talk or anythin... im not a fuckin idiot... its not like i dont kno whats goin on... he only talks to l**y and its obvious he likes her... all the fuckin shit about "shes unstable like me... she has problems like me..." more or less he makes up excuses to make them more similar than "we" were... ugh... i really feel like strangling somethin... too much rage... and for what? a stupid boy? gawddamn... i dont care if he fuckin reads this, he prolly still has it on favorites, which, by the way, if he is reading this now, then it is recommended that he take off the site from his favorites because hes not worthy of readin my shit... and i dont give a fucking flying rats ass if this makes him mad... *mimicks* "i dont want to hurt you more than i already have"... so typical... all guys are alike... i may as well become bi... no, just lez... girls are so much better than guys... at least we have feelings and kno what to do with certain feelings (nonsexual)... ok, off track... the point of this entry is to diss "him" as much as i want cuz i can and if u dont like it, then thats too bad cuz u kno ur gonna keep readin... the worst thing is, and the cause of all my anger, is that he doesnt talk to me... or even talk at all... hes all busy talkin to lily... i should kno cuz he doesnt talk in the chat and he didnt when he used to talk to me... and i suppose that this is the way we talk now... thru my entries of hate and wants of wrath... *sighs* ok im all better now :-) *goes off to paint with her anger and wants of wrath*... ok i sorta chilled and i dont hate blade... more like myself... i hate metaphors now >:O... me "hating" him was more of a metaphor in that i was pretending blade to be a mirror and his so called reflection was me in which i, naturally of course, hated, no hate, myself... haha i kno what ur thinkin: *deep, woman, deep, i feel for ya*... well i sorta talked to him :-/ and iono... it was weird... very akward... i still care for him... obviously... otherwise, why would i still be writing bout him? o.o ... my nail hurts... ive been biting it from my anxiety and stress... which i shouldnt... its my best nail... neh... *shrugs* too many decisions, too many problems, too many people, stupid world... its all ur fault *kicks her world off the stupid pedastool and stomps it into dust*... yeah, there goes my stupid metaphoric self again... geezus mrs skipper is so boring yet she actually teaches stuff o.o... scary... very scary... and i definitely think blade has gone psycho o.o... now thats scary... :-/ people always say im a good listener and talker and so i guess i can talk to him... if he wants me to... o.o
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1-9-03 ... moved
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1-7-03 ... moved
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1-6-03 ... moved
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1-5-03 ... work sucks, work sucks, work really really sucks...
heh, today, i just realized that ive been dating all my entries wrong... ive been putting "02" for the year 2002 and its 2003... so i changed em... lol... o.o *glares* *smiles evilly* *tries to look innocent* *starts sweating* ... -ten minutes later- ok where was i? i dunno but ill ramble on some more... i kno u all love it so much when i ramble... its my best quality... well, that and being my evil teasing self ^_^
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1-4-03 ... edited and too lazy to redo it
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1-3-03 ... moved
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1-2-03 ... [...]
ill do this part later
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1-1-03 ... moved
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12-31-02 ... BLINKIES!!!! :)
ok, today i was bored so i decided to look for yup, you guessed it, blinkies! i found so many i liked but im too lazy to put them all up on here. so here goes: 
and here is my most favoritest ones: 
and 
... i kno some of you can tell why i like these blinkies XD ... so, without further adue -hehe- i have more than one site of the nite, and here they are:
Intensity Blinkies
Dollz
Blinkiez
Blinkie Page
Eccentric Dolls
blinkies
Blinkies!
And hopefully, they wont find this page, cuz they all said to not direct link them... ^.^ but o well, i dont see why, cuz it gets them more publicity... but then again, it also gets more people using their blinkies... o.o
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12-30-02 ... POP UPS MUST DIE!
As you may have guessed, I HATE POP UPS!!! they come up when u dont want them to, and its especially a nag when u r typing and one comes up just to say: Congratulations! You are the 116784th visitor to this demented site! Click here for details! ... they only pop up, oh, a BAMAGAZILLION TIMES! and yesh, that is a number, in my terms. :-P So, what to do about those nasty ads... hmm... must ponder... *ow* ok enuff killing of the brain cells, all you gotta do it download POW! by AnalogX. wow i feel like a spokeswoman already _hardy.har.har_ i found this program when i was at OriginalIcons.com, looking at the different AIM emoticons. the link to it said "Kill the Popups" so obviously, i clicked on it and voila! it was exactly what i was lookin for. directions are on the download page, but if you are just THAT lazy to read, then ill tell you what u do. first, u install it (no shiz sherzlock). then you open the program and when a stupid ad comes up, u click the lil yellow hairy looking funky icon by the clock down on the taskbar, and click on 'Add/ Delete Popup'. a window will appear and what u do is double click the title of the window of the pop up (located in the bottom section) and then click on the 'Done' button. now, what happens if you "accidentally" click on the wrong title? all ya gotta do is find the title of the window that you didnt want in the 'remove' files and double click it out of the top section. and ta- da! the next time you visit or refresh that page with the annoying as hell pop ups, they disappear automatically and your viewing/ browsing pleasure on the site may continue. : ) so, now, with great pleasure and easy amusement, i present to you, the site of the nite: AnalogX: POW! woo-hoo!
know what else i hate now? NEOPETS! they have a stupid ass 17k limit for picture entries and my pic is 26k! and i cant figure out how to make it smaller! grrrr... well heres the pic:
its not that great but then again, it only took me 1 hour to do it :-P my fav part is her teeth... theyre pointy and sharp and they mean business muahahahahaha... too bad i didnt shade it [yet] go Here to see her neopets pet page.______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
12-29-02 ... Ned Flanders: It's like I'm wearing nothing! Nothing! Nothing!
went to work today... no guys came in, as usual... *sigh* stupid oriental people haha... i like goin into aim chats... u meet lots of inshuresting people there... i met... hmm... i think at least 5 new people today, all of whom are guys lol. its not my fault! im such a man magnet, o yeah baby ;-) hahah and 2 of em are hackers, they boot people on my command, or at least they dont boot the ones i tell them not to. : ) well neopets has finally ran out of ideas for the advent calendar... today we got an orange, 150 NP, and some asparagus pie thingermajigger... woopdeedoo *rolls eyes* well, at least i make profits off them scratchcards... hopefully ill soon be able to get up to 100,000 NP on ooberdoobergoober257 and save up on simperubisububi for prizes and junk for the guild... i redid the color scheme too; more of a neutral effect... browns. that says bout all of it. eh, what can ya do? its not that bad either. less drab than the previous colors... black, grey, silver, and white smoke... wow, so much better. well its 139 a.m. so i can safely say its december 30 instead of the 29th, but o well, im gonna change the entry anyways when i come online later today... today actually had one plus to it: while i was at work, my dad installed the new motherboard for my puter, so its faster than b4 : D *happy happy joy joy* yesh, its ren & stimpy, i love them too : P *yawn* ok well ill finish this up tomoro... i suppose i should leave all my entries in one piece... yeah maybe ill start doin that, beginning with this one. okaly dokaly _.|._peace_.|._ (thats my "new" signature : P and as "they" say: no stealies!)
And my site for the nite is: Socially Hazardous!**applause**
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