bAd tHiNgS haPpEn 2 mE....
Mood:  blue
Now Playing: Right Thurr- - - Chingy
Topic: suckiest days of my life!
today seems like the one of the worst days of my life. so many bad things have happened to me in 24 hours. i have no idea why my life is changing so much, but i dont like change...especially when it's bad change.

bad things that happened to me today:

1. the deputy principal called my attention and scolded me today...

2. rhannie and i fought so much today. we were swearing and cursing at each other so much. i made him feel like shit and he made me feel like shit.

3. i got a class ticket for not paying attention during a stupid cultural show.

4. everyone thinks i did "something bad" with daryl when i didnt do anything at all!

5. im enemies with more and more people! ----i wish ivana and jenelle died!

well, those are the bad stuff that happened to me today...-_-

sometimes i want to make wishes...selfish wishes. wishes that dont help people but me.

i wish that rhannie was nicer. he changed so much since i last saw him. he became so selfish and so mean.

i wish that rhannie and i never fought and we were still really good friends again. it sucks when we fight...

and i wish that i had a successful year with lots of fun and adventure and where everyone was my friend.

------------ i have weird wishes, dont you think?---

today, john told me that he still loves me. i dont love him. he knows that i dont love him anymore but he keeps on trying! why can't he just give up? he told me that he'll wait for me abnd he'll never give up and he just went offline a couple of minutes after saying those things...

and rhannie....i don't know if i still love him. i keep on fallin in and out of love with him. ive never loved someone the way that i loved him. it's weird..but he's the first person i've ever loved. and saying goes "...1st love never dies".../humph...i really dont want to like him! but i cant help it.

rhannie is online right now and i cant decide if i should chat with him or not. i think i should flip a coin or something...-_-
but if i talk to him...what should i say? "hey, im sorry for the fight awhile ago..."? that's pretty stupid coz i always say the sorrys first.

my head hurts right now, and i have to think of what to do with my life....so, i guess i'll be back tomorrow and write what happens.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

!?cOnFuSeD!?
Mood:  down
Now Playing: this i swear - - - nick lachey
Topic: ...eHeM....
today, my ex boyfriend john told me that he was hurt when i broke up with him. i broke up with him yesterday and i feel like such a jerk now because i know how painful it is to hurt a person that loves you. i can relate because i've been through it with my other ex (rhannie).

you see, rhannie was my boyfriend----until he had a heart for another girl (christine). when i heard about it, it really crushed me because i really loved rhannie. and i thought he loved me.

my love life is so screwed up because sometimes i think that im doing the right thing when im actually doing the wrong thing. im so confused!

i dont love john, i dont have feelings for him, and i never did. i think i only used john to forget rhannie---well, it didnt work!

i have always loved rhannie, and i think i always will. even if he treats me like shit, i dont know why i still like him! is it normal or am i just screwed up? i like him even if i tell myself not to. and im hating myself for loving someone like that! i mean, who wold love a person that broke your heart? -_-?

but i should be happy because i get to spend more time with my friends and family. im single and proud of it! hehe....

and besides, now i can help my bestfriend out with her boyfriend!U

i just wish i could turn back time and make everything turn out right--because i cant live this way. It's hard enough im drooling over a guy i cant have, but now i feel like its killing me internally!

please help me God!