Life after death?
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: Not Gon' Cry- - - Mary J. Blige
i've been in my room since 3pm yesterday. the first time i've been out of the room was when my parents left for ATC. and the first meal i've had since yesterday's lunch, was today's lunch.

i've been too scared to ask my parents what happened during the PTC... i'm probably goin 2 get grounded and im goin 2 have to face them one day...but not today...U i really hate it when they lecture me about having a boyfriend! i'd rather starve for a day or two...

yesterday was my deathday and i dont know if im living right now...is there life after death?

recently, i've been very pessimistic. for some reason, i can't look at the bright side. lately, it has all been bad.

the only thing working for me is going to the internet. im having problems with everything! ...and my ex?! he's such a jerk!!! right now, he's with one of my closest friends in his bedroom...

yesterday, i thought that i had totally forgotten about him and i thought that i lost all my feelings for him...but today, i suddenly became jealous when my bestfriend told me that rhannie called her up this morning and last night for no reason at all... i hope that he's not crushing on her!

my ex is a player. i don't normally like players because they play with gurz and skip from one to another... but this guy is different... he stands out of the crowd...

my mind and heart are telling me 2 different things. my mind is telling me not to like him because i know that it's over. it's telling me that nothing will work out if i hook up with a player.

but my heart...it's telling me to follow him and chase him and like him nomatter how much he hates me. it's telling me to try and try again nomatter how many times i get hurt...

i wonder what i should follow.

do you watch "hey,arnold"? my life is like a live episode of "hey arnold". arnold is rhannie and helga is me. helga loves arnold so much but whenever she gets to talk to him, helga ends up bullying arnold or badmouthing him. so arnold in turn, hates helga so much and doesnt know that she likes him. its a sad situation, isn't it?