!?cOnFuSeD!?
Mood:  down
Now Playing: this i swear - - - nick lachey
Topic: ...eHeM....
today, my ex boyfriend john told me that he was hurt when i broke up with him. i broke up with him yesterday and i feel like such a jerk now because i know how painful it is to hurt a person that loves you. i can relate because i've been through it with my other ex (rhannie).

you see, rhannie was my boyfriend----until he had a heart for another girl (christine). when i heard about it, it really crushed me because i really loved rhannie. and i thought he loved me.

my love life is so screwed up because sometimes i think that im doing the right thing when im actually doing the wrong thing. im so confused!

i dont love john, i dont have feelings for him, and i never did. i think i only used john to forget rhannie---well, it didnt work!

i have always loved rhannie, and i think i always will. even if he treats me like shit, i dont know why i still like him! is it normal or am i just screwed up? i like him even if i tell myself not to. and im hating myself for loving someone like that! i mean, who wold love a person that broke your heart? -_-?

but i should be happy because i get to spend more time with my friends and family. im single and proud of it! hehe....

and besides, now i can help my bestfriend out with her boyfriend!U

i just wish i could turn back time and make everything turn out right--because i cant live this way. It's hard enough im drooling over a guy i cant have, but now i feel like its killing me internally!

please help me God!